QUESTION: Masters, I had a longtime friendship which I ended a few years ago as it was becoming abusive again. I think it was the best decision for both of us to grow internally. But I can’t seem to get her off my mind as I have many dreams where I relive the abusive moments with her. I wake up scared and confused as I had felt as if I were in the actual situation. Why am I still dreaming about her so strongly even though I have disconnected from her completely? I feel we are connected from another lifetime. ~Santhi, Singapore
ANSWER: You were connected with her in another life where you went through a similar situation of control and abuse. Neither one of you learned the lesson at that time. That is why you replayed the same situation in this life.
While you have become aware of the destructiveness of this situation and that you both need to grow internally—which is just another way of saying that you can work out why and how you came about to experience this connection in this lifetime—you have not seen what else is involved in the energy of this activity. It keeps repeating itself to you to say “wake up and look at everything that is going on here and why it is happening.”
You got into this situation because of fear, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, and a feeling of being trapped. Your response to fear is to strike out as you are running away from the emotions involved which overcome you. While you have physically removed yourself from this situation, you have still not allowed yourself to feel that sense of being trapped. You cannot understand why you are compelled to act as you do. You feel both shame and guilt but figure that separating yourself from this woman will just resolve the issue. It will not.
It is time to go in and examine the sense of guilt you have. Why could you not control your striking out? You never saw what was happening until after you returned from running away. Go into the shame and the low self-esteem that made you respond as you did, forgive yourself, love yourself for who you are; then you will be finished with this scenario.