Relationships

ANSWER: You and your brother, while coming into existence at the same physical time, originated from two different unions of sperm and eggs. There is a closeness between you from dealing with your parental difficulties and experiencing life in the same time frame. But you made no contract that stated you would be responsible for him for the rest of his life.

Your brother dealt with the trauma in his life in a totally different way from how you did: he is still hiding from his. As long as he had someone to take care of him, protect him, and put up with his bad manners, he refused to face the reality of his situation and take responsibility for his life.

Your brother relies upon your sense of guilt. He will never learn to take care of himself and address his problems if he is always being bailed out of difficulties. You have freedom of choice to maintain your past mothering behavior, but you have no obligation to do so. Your contract with him was to get him to the point of being able to make his own choices and decisions. You have set a perfect example for him if he chooses to notice. It is time to live your own life with your only concern being yourself.

A. Astrology, generally recognized as the influence of the planets upon the human body, has been documented throughout human history. The moment of birth gives you an indication of the potential that the incarnated soul has within that particular body. It does not determine what is going to happen to that person, just what the energy background will help to facilitate.

Souls may take their initial potential, determined by the planets at the time of their birth, and ride along with it without making any changes, or use it as a springboard to propel themselves beyond their natural inclinations in a direction of their choosing. They would appear then to  differ greatly from others of their astrological sign.

Throughout your planet, with its population of billions, there are many people who are born on each of your earth days. Take for instance your large women’s hospitals that specialize in maternity care; every day perhaps a dozen babies are born in each. When you consider that we generally make contracts with, and come to planet Earth with, no more than a dozen or so of our soul mates, it is easy to see why a shared birth date does not indicate the co-existence of a soul mate. It is not impossible but very improbable—unless the other person is an identical twin with whom you sought to spend an entire lifetime! But that does not always mean twins are soul mates either.

ANSWER: Many reasons cause attraction to other people. Some of them are part of your life plan and others are the result of coming too close to a soul who is a part of your soul group or someone with whom you have had several prior incarnations. And sometimes the reason is part of a particular lesson you have chosen to experience during this lifetime. Each of these reasons results in a strong attraction to the other person.

You are correct that this was a lesson on love, but not unconditional love. Modern society heralds unconditional love as the truest form of romantic love. It is very difficult to have unconditional love for another human. Do you unconditionally love a spouse? If you do, then whatever he does, however he treats you, even being unfaithful to you, would not dampen your love for him.

In your polarized world of positivity constantly balancing against negativity, nothing is unconditional. You would be unable to learn lessons unless a choice were presented to you. Your lesson revolves around being able to love yourself for the lessons you have chosen to learn.

You sense that you cannot be happy without being in a relationship. Your identity is defined by what you do and not who you are. You see yourself as family member, employee, friend, but not as a soul, divine being, journeyer. Take inventory of the magnificent person you are and love yourself as an individual, not as a piece of something else.

ANSWER: You and a soul mate—yes, a soul mate, someone from the same group of souls as you—had planned for a very intense lifetime together. There is a conflict between the energy that draws you together, from your closeness in creation, and your contracts for this lifetime, which are forcing you apart.

His desires for this life are about control and ownership. You are one of his possessions. When you do what he wants, you are prized and honored; but when you rebel and try to be your own person, you are the enemy to be re-conquered. Your desires for this lifetime were to find your own strength and recognize the power of freedom of choice. You also are working on finding the talents that have been yours here and in past lives.

Healing has always been a passion of yours. Will you let your husband’s control keep you from it this time around? You thrive in the presence of many people, while he sees that as a threat to his control. Do you wish to live his life desires or your own? Ask yourself what you truly feel about the life you are being forced to live. If you wish to honor yourself, take back the power over you that you have given to your husband and start making your own decisions.

He can continue to rule your life only if you allow it. Make your choice. Decide if you are living his life or your own. Feel what is the right direction for you and then don’t fear taking it. You have given enough time to his wants. His expectations, as you say, are his not yours. Create your own goals and go for them.

ANSWER: The three of you had many joint lessons to attempt to learn in this life. Your mother came to Earth to learn about love. She was never successful and does not understand what familial love is all about. She has always chosen negative thoughts, moods, emotions, and activities. She is more content to be morose and depressed than to be happy, and she wishes the same for others.

She also had a lot of fear in her life. She has no self-confidence and therefore feels safe only when she is in control, which resulted in the unsavory treatment she delivered to you girls.

You and your sister wanted to experience these lessons demonstrated by your mother so that you could use the information to make choices for yourself. You have both reacted differently to this experience. You have decided not to react to the actions of your mother – instead, being passive and non-confrontational. Your sister became reactive and deals out aggression in response to what she considers unfair treatment.

Your mother is not going to change her personality at this point of her life. If anything, you will find that she will become more demonstrative, negative, and argumentative because no one is objecting or calling her on her actions. You have no spiritual responsibility to stay within the negative range of her reach.

It is time for you two to see what life can be like without constant conflict. You should experiment with being responsible only for yourselves. Learn to try different responses to day-to-day interactions. Examine if you feel content with your own behavior; if not, change it at will. When you do not have to protect yourself from your mother by being passive, you may find an enjoyment in being assertive.

ANSWER: You do not have a contract for a relationship with this person. When it comes to engaging in romance during a human experience, rarely does the soul make a contract. The reason for this is that a contract restricts the opportunities that can enrich the lifetime. Each soul has freedom of choice to determine what they want to do and when. They may change their mind at any time and go in another direction.

Your love is very immature and always wants someone to tell him what to do and how to do it. That is one of the reasons that he is not progressing with his lessons and lifework in this incarnation. He never chooses to take responsibility for the few decisions that he does make on his own. It is much easier to always blame someone else – whoever has urged a certain decision – for the matter not turning out as he wanted it to.

His progress is non-existent at this time and may never change. He is not a sharer but rather selfish in his plans. You will not be able to get him to commit to any relationship where you have a say in how it goes. He wants total control. If this is how you see spending the rest of your life, then wait around until he can make a decision. He also takes energy away from you when you are together so that you feel tired and confused. It is a part of his makeup to live off the energy of others since it is so easy.

It is time to ask yourself what you see for a future professionally, socially, and spiritually. Learn to seek out your feelings about a situation and see if it is loving and comfortable. If a scenario is one-sided and not sharing, you will not have a say in the relationship. Honor your strengths. Do only what makes you feel marvelous. Bring to yourself that which you desire; some things come to you for you to determine that they are not what will enhance your life’s journey. Don’t be afraid to look elsewhere.

ANSWER: You are fully upon your spiritual journey. The time in the ashram will let you further disconnect from the third-dimensional ego-based society and enter into the energy of self. Attachments that have kept you stuck will no longer have a hold upon you. Use the time wisely to “feel” the unconditional love that is within your heart and a part of your essential being.

The gentleman you are leaving behind is not on a path of spiritual growth. He is very content to live in the world and be entwined in its dramas. He could never be happy within an ashram because he would not give up his identity to be just one of a group. Who he is in his own eyes, and what people think of him, is the most important thing in the world to him. You are entering divergent pathways.

When you first met this gentleman he was more open to all the possibilities in the universe but he has become closed to change. He was a marker along the way for you to evaluate yourself. You have complete freedom of choice to decide if you would ever seek to try to get a union to work, but you have no specific contract with him to learn anything more from or with him.

ANSWER: Each soul has one and only one twin soul or twin flame. They were broken off from Source as a whole and then split in half to form two individual souls. They are identical in all things until they start having their own duality experiences. When both incarnate at the same time, all they want to do is share with each other and cut all other souls sharing the lifetime with them, including family and friends, out from that existence.

It is rare for twin flames to share a lifetime because their original reason for coming, to learn their chosen life lessons, is placed on hold and nothing gets done. Each soul has 144 other souls within their soul group who frequently share lifetimes together so that they may assist each other with their work. Many people construe a soul group member to be a twin flame because their connection may be very intense and even volatile.

It is even possible for a soul studying romantic love to have set it up to meet a series of soul group members in order to examine various types of love and relationships. When sharing with a soul group member, their energies are so similar, since they came into existence near each other, that they appear to almost be a twin flame.

Anyone on Earth can say anything they wish without needing a grain of truth or validity to their words. You are living in a duality where a tool is being able to judge what you want to believe. When you step away from that ego judgment, you use your feelings to evaluate if what you are hearing is something that resonates with you and that you desire to make a part of your belief system. You have freedom of choice; discern what you wish to be a part of your reality and then move forward.

Honor yourself. Make your own decisions, don’t let anyone else tell you what you feel or believe. Make your own choices.

ANSWER: One of your life-lessons is to examine the reasons that you felt compelled to enter into this marriage in the first place. A past-life contract that you sense might not have been understood by the other party is not a valid reason to commit to a second time around.

When you make contracts with others to provide them with an experience such as disappearing and allowing them to feel the despair of not knowing what happened to you and the feeling of abandonment, you are facilitating their lessons and your part of the contract is complete. You did not contract to stay around until they understood what the experience was all about.

It is time to be honest with yourself and ask: why did I enter into this marriage? You seem to imply that you did not think he was going to be around for all that long so it would be a short gig. Your husband is someone with whom you have had many lifetimes, but this lifetime was for you to learn discernment. “When do I really have an obligation to another if there is not a contract between us?” You never asked that question before jumping in.

Your husband is in the stage of being an energy vampire. He is being sustained partially by the energy of your essence that he is siphoning off. He will be able to maintain this as long as you allow it. If you feel you want to remain, that is your freedom of choice. Your contracts with him are complete.

A: Some animals have interchangeable souls, human to animal or vice versa. Muffy was not one of these. She has always chosen to be an animal. The energy that is within animals also chooses what experiences they seek to have. She had chosen to be in a situation where she would be ripped, so to speak, from her comfortable relationship with you. You had chosen to be the one left behind to deal with the thoughts and fears that even today are still bothering you. She did move on to another family with a sick child whom she took care of. She died at approximately the same time that the child did.

Rest assured, animal energy is the same as human souls when they return Home. They go out of Earth’s judgment and into unconditional love. She has visited you on a number of occasions, and at this very moment is in a ferret body in Tennessee. If both of your schedules continue as they are going now, she will predecease you and will be there waiting for you when you return.

It is time for you to let go of the residual guilt you are carrying. Realize that you are only responsible for yourself and are not guilty for the actions of your mother. This was another lesson for you in going with the flow of the soul’s energy and releasing Earth shackles (emotions) that try to ensnare you.

ANSWER: Your daughter and you are soul mates. You have chosen to be present on Earth many times together. Her heart condition is the result of contracts and lessons sought to be learned by both of you. She needed to feel what dependency, not just upon a parent but upon all the people in her life, would be like. You wanted a very strong mothering situation where concern would allow you to feel more deeply than normally possible.

As souls both of you need to reach the point where you comprehend that these are all life-lessons you are going through. The physical must then be put aside to reach the essence that is contained inside each of you. This wisdom allows you to draw the power of the soul to correct the physical ailment that controls your daughter’s life. It cannot happen until both of you are ready.

Work on understanding your true essence as a piece of the Creator and teach your daughter what you understand. You are here to help each other. As one of you understands something and explains it to the other, that knowledge becomes wisdom that can then empower manifestation in and by both of you.

ANSWER: This man is not your twin flame or even a soul mate. It is your sense of guilt that has required you to give a reason to yourself for your actions. You cannot think clearly about anything that happened here, as demonstrated by your contradictory question. You say you “knew” he was going to do something to you because of your diligence, as he had done to others, but you don’t really know that. You claim he had planted misinformation about you but then that he was always kind, loving, and respectful to you.

You intimated that he had been cruel to you but you don’t know exactly how you came to that conclusion. How could you possibly know what he was planning against you? This is your justification for your own actions. What we are feeling from you at the moment is guilt, confusion, and embarrassment for your rashness. Nothing is right or wrong in this world and things can always be looked at from many different sides.

The past is past and cannot be redone. You have to accept that fact. What you do with the future is important. Center yourself in the moment with no past and no future. How do you feel about yourself in this moment? What would you like to manifest for your immediate future? Start seeing that as a possibility, then take actions to bring it into being.

If you want to see if anything can flourish between you and your former boss, send a letter of apology for your rash behavior. Ask to meet with him to talk it out. If he has any feeling for you now he will meet with you. If he doesn’t he will either ignore the letter or send a terse response. If his reply is negative, know that he is not ready to rekindle anything that was there and you have to move on. If his reply is positive, just see where it can take you.

ANSWER: You do not feel yourself as part of the other’s life. You are from the same soul group and have been together a number of times in the past, but you never made any plans for this lifetime except to meet periodically so that you may see the different types of love that exist.

In this lifetime your love is just that of a physical attraction of romantic love and the companionship of sibling or good friend. It was not determined that you would have a deep, spiritual, sharing love. That does not mean that, if both if you so decide, you cannot create such a life in the future.

Neither of you has completed all the life lessons you planned. One of yours was learning to feel the unconditional love of your soul – to be able to love yourself and see yourself as whole without having to have a partner.

He has to increase his self-confidence in the decision-making process. He does not like to make decisions because that means he has to take responsibility for his actions. He hesitates making commitments for fear he will not like the outcome. If you both work on your own problems, you may find you have more to share and can create a more permanent relationship.

ANSWER: You are talking about soulmates as if they were a romantic twin flame, which they are not. The last soul that you separated from when being broken off from Source is known as your twin flame. You vibrate at the same frequency and can think of nothing else but each other when you are together. For that reason, twin flames are rarely both on the physical plane at the same time because they wouldn’t spend any time on their lessons.

Soulmates are the other souls individualized at the same time as you. They are the 72 immediately preceding you and the 72 immediately after you, a total of 144 souls who are like close siblings or even physical twins. Since you know these souls better than any others, they are the ones with whom you tend to make contracts to complete events on Earth.

Such contracts are rarely concerned with romantic encounters. Soulmates are destined to be your best friend, your most influential teacher, or your biggest protagonist. You enter into the contracts so that you have an assurance of being able to face a desired lesson.

You are a dreamer and allow yourself to vest all your emotions in romantic relations. You fantasize a perfect, movie-style relationship when the other person begins to show even a little interest in you. Your intensity tends to scare the person off before they even get to know you.

Stop having expectations that are not based on fact. When you meet a new prospect, don’t plan an “ever-after” until you get to know them. Take things slowly to see if you are compatible; get to understand where they are in their life and what their intentions are.

Most of the time a soulmate will recognize you – if they are truly a soulmate. But sometimes, they are not spiritually far enough advanced in this life to feel you. You don’t need a soulmate to have a satisfactory romance, just a like-minded individual.

ANSWER: He is not your twin flame but he is a soul mate of yours. The intense energy you felt was from all the incomplete events you have hanging between the two of you. This soul and you have had numerous lifetimes together and seem to have difficulty completing life lessons, for which you are helping the other. In a recent life you were both your current sexes: he was your abusive husband with whom you were madly in love, but finally you could take the abuse no longer and ran away. He swore to find and kill you. The blast of energy that hit you was a combination of a fantastic frustrated sexual longing and fear for your life.

Overlaid on that energy was a fear of being seen by him, because in another lifetime you were both male: you betrayed him to the authorities for being an insurgent and he was tortured to death. In another life, you snuck up and killed him because he was the favored of a girl you wanted to marry. Also he was the leader of a slave rebellion aboard a ship you commanded and he swore revenge as you escaped.

He came into your life at this time for you to start clearing out some of these suppressed feelings. You don’t have to do it together, but you do have to forgive yourself and reconcile the feelings you have concerning betrayal, abuse, and the fact that you have trouble loving yourself. But, again, you don’t have to do anything that you are not ready for.

Your twin flame is not in body form at this time. You will see this soul mate only if you can do so without having a deluge of emotions. That will only occur only if you have cleared out the residual from past lives.

A. Happy One, first we need to make clear the difference between twin flames and soul mates. Twin flames are like Siamese twins. Let us explain that statement. The last division that occurred as Source was creating you as an individual soul took place between you and the energy known as your “twin flame.” It is the only soul who can make you feel complete, because it was once an intimate part of you. If both you and your twin flame are in body form at the same time and meet each other, you will immediately seek to spend all your time together because you feel whole for the first time.

Soul mates are all the souls who were created as individuals about the same moment as you. They can number as many as 144 souls. Think of an extended family tree: These souls would be your parents, grandparents, siblings, and cousins if you all were to incarnate at the same time. These are the souls with whom you make your most important contracts before you incarnate. You trust your soul mates with ensuring that you will experience exactly what you chose. These are not just immediate human family members and spouses, but also that teacher who influenced your career path, or the drunk driver who handicapped you so that you might experience helplessness. The soul mates with whom you regularly interact number between 12 and 36 souls.

Because you frequently spend time on Earth with these same souls during different incarnations, whenever you meet one of them, immediately he or she will seem familiar to you. Your co-worker may be a soul mate and you are both having memories of the past and also seeing how similar you are in the present. Be aware of this contact. See where it can lead you and what adventures together it brings you. Enjoy!

ANSWER: This man and you had a contract to help you understand your lack of self-esteem and confidence. People can never be abused unless they allow themselves to be used. You recognized your co-dependency but not your lack of self-worth. You feel if you do what others want and let people use you, they will reciprocate with love. Ever since you have been on this Earth you have craved human love.

This situation came about because you needed to see how deep your problems lie. To rid yourself of these feelings popping up all the time, you need to go and resolve the still-sparking energies over the feelings you had for your father, and the issues through which you developed such a lack of worth image. There were things that were said and done to you in your childhood that have prevented you from being a strong, self-reliant adult. To be able to be free of this constant dread, you need to cut the cords to these earlier events.

Go and seek the origins. This is easily done with hypnosis, in which you can get out of the fears of your conscious mind, and get into your unconscious mind, which will allow you to understand that you don’t have to hold on to these fears any longer. You can visit each incident in a non-threatening manner and sever the connection to the inner fear.

While you work to understand and then erase the influence of the past, start working on finding out who you really are. You are a fragment of Source and, as such, are magnificent. When you clear away the distractions your past has planted, you can start to feel your power. Believe you can change, start seeing the powerful you, then create the world you desire.

ANSWER: To repeat ourselves from many different types of lessons we have been asked about: It is impossible to get another person to do anything he/she does not want to do. All people have the freedom of choice to choose what to do with their life. This extends to what they will believe, feel, and allow into their life.

You are a very needy person who is living in a dream illusion. You are fixated on this individual and are creating a world around all aspects of what you think him to be. He does not feel romantically inclined toward you. He thinks it might be interesting to become physically involved with you but it will never go any further than that. He is receiving satisfaction from the intensity of your longing for him. It is almost a form of idol worship.

There are a limited number of possible birth charts, personality traits, and life characteristics. The combination that you have commented on can be found in hundreds of different men. Go and find another who will sense the same attraction toward you and be overjoyed to have you in his life. You are trying to attract an unavailable man; go after an available one.

All the pain and hurt you feel is there because you allow it to be. You cannot be hurt unless you believe you deserve to be. You have no love for yourself; therefore, when you do not receive love from outside, you bring pain and hurt in to fill the abyss. Question yourself as to why you don’t love, or even like, yourself right now.

Start looking at all the fantastic qualities you have as a piece of Source. You are all powerful, magnificent, loving, and composed of unconditional love. Let the love shine through. Then send out the energy to attract someone who will be mutually attracted to you.

ANSWER:  Romantic love is a difficult human lesson. It has to involve at least two people. Since each soul has the ability to make its own choices in life, the partners must be in agreement and choose the same outcome. The unconditional love that souls have for each other’s essence can overpower the negative situation of one party’s being in love with another who does not return the feelings, and this unconditional love may be perceived as attraction.

Your best friend loves you as a soul and will continue to love who you are—despite the fact that you would like to include a romantic love into the mix, which doesn’t interest your friend. The romantic angle is just coming from your mind. Since your friend makes no demands upon you, the relationship is unencumbered and feels comfortable. Your friend is easy to love because of being the only one in your life who does not set conditions on you.

The relationship between your friend and the other person was very intense because they both wanted, needed, and desired to be with the “right one.” They are not twin flames or even soul mates. The thought that there is only one person for each soul is a fallacy. The person to whom you will be drawn as a romantic partner is very rarely determined before coming to Earth unless it is part of a life lesson. Most romantic relationships are just incidental to a human life.

Mostly what you feel is wishful thinking. Society has convinced people that they must have, and in fact have a right to have, a romantic lover. Your soul came to Earth to have a singular life experiencing various chosen lessons. If those lessons do not include something to do with romantic relationships, you simply don’t need to have romantic love in each lifetime.

ANSWER: This whole meeting was about feeling who you are and what is important to you. You have a connection with this man because he is a soul mate of yours and you have shared a number of lives before. This is powering the intensity of the feelings you perceive. He is not your twin flame.

He desperately was looking for a way to leave Turkey and be able to live in another country. You seemed to present that ability for him. While he has some feelings for you, he does not love you to the extent to which you love him and crave his             attention. He has found other possible ways to be safe that do not involve having to move very far or get married.

He did not mean to hurt you because he is aware of the intensity of your feelings, but he senses you are much too infatuated with him and not looking at the practical aspects of your relationship. His only true concern at this time is himself.

You had created a dream life between the two of you without really knowing who he was; you were ready to change your whole existence to assist him. This situation came to you to show you that there are men out there to whom you can become attached.

You want a relationship so badly you are willing to sacrifice anything to get one. Honor yourself for the beautiful person you are – you are as important as any partner you might seek. Don’t surrender your life for that of another. Love yourself more, and then you will draw to you a person who is attracted to that love and will share it with you.

ANSWER: Twin flames are the last particle of Source from which you were broken off as you became an individualized soul. Twins cannot stand to be apart when they are both in human form at the same time. This man is not your twin or you would not have been able to resist each other and he would not have been able to move on. You are both from the same soul group and have spent previous lives together.

It was determined that he would come along in your life at this time so you could decide whether it was beneficial to you to remain with your husband. Your husband is very confused about his life and his “needs.” He still loves you and the children in his own way but is not totally committed to you. He cannot tell you with any degree of certainty what he will choose to do tomorrow.

Your husband is also a member of your soul group and was chosen to present you with these life lessons. Nothing is right or wrong in a spiritual journey; everything is just a matter of choices. Your freedom to choose your tests goes to every layer of existence. The meeting with your client was for you to become reacquainted with romantic moments and to decide if you were ready for another adventure.

This encounter has made you aware of what you have been missing in your marriage and what life can be. You now have the ability to decide where to go from here.

A. The first thing we must say is that all souls incarnate to learn lessons, and you all have freedom of choice as to how you experience those lessons. One of your lessons in life is learning your own worth, and knowing that you cannot change another person in any way.

You have had a pattern of trying to please the men who show you attention. You feel an obligation to them if they have invested any time in you, and feel that your needs are secondary to theirs. After you have been in the relationship for a while you begin to realize that your companion does not have the same ideas about love and life that you have, and that he wants a dependent relationship rather than a sharing one. In dependent relationships, one partner is always sucking the energy out of the other. You first think he will change, but when he doesn’t, you want to withdraw.

Early in this current relationship you became aware of exactly what was happening and decided that you did not wish to stick around and be an energy food source. Your lack of self worth is making you hesitate to break off the relationship. “I must owe him something.” “I do like him so I have an obligation to stay.” It is now time to exercise your freedom of choice for your own benefit.

Whatever you do is neither right nor wrong because you are learning from these experiences. The repeated pattern has developed because you have not learned to honor your feelings about these issues. When you appreciate your own individuality and allow yourself to claim the right to your desires, you will have learned this lesson. You will no longer need to repeat all, or part, of it ever again.

ANSWER: Are you aware of what you said in your question? “I am ‘stuck’ with my ex-boyfriend.” This is a conclusion that you have decided on and enforced. All souls have freedom of choice and can change their mind at any time.

This communique is all about you. It says nothing about wanting to share a relationship. You say it is on; you say you want a break; you want him back; and you are upset he wants time alone. Is there any wonder after the way you treated him four years ago that he might not want to trust that you will not do the same thing again?

You have closed your heart to anyone and anything that you have not decided on your own. He feels that while you say you are ready to commit, your actions and energy are not saying that. When you closed off others, it put an energetic “no trespassing” sign around you. You are doing this because you do not know what love is.

Spend time examining inner love for yourself. When you can love all aspects of your life, including the way you treat other people, you will be ready to get into a romantic relationship, but not until then. Right now you are living a fantasy life of the way you imagine you would like things to be, but there are no feelings or love involved. Find the love and then see if you can convey that to your old boyfriend or to someone who will love you for who you are now.

Answer: It is time to be honest with yourself. You do not feel comfortable in this relationship most of the time. You stick around because occasionally you enjoy how he behaves toward you. Love is sharing yourself and all your energy with your partner, and your partner doing the same. You cannot make him love you. He treats you as a possession rather than as a cherished mate.

Because of those around you, you felt you would not be complete as a person until you got married. Along came someone who showed you interest even though it was not what you envisioned, but others said he would make a good husband so you got married. Before you wed, you never really got to know enough about him to realize that he was a cold and distant person.

You can remain with him if you wish, but ask yourself if you see any future improvement in the way he is behaving. You have freedom of choice to remove yourself from this loveless union and find someone who will cherish you and share his hopes and dreams with you. There is nothing wrong with deciding that you are in a situation where you are not happy and cannot see yourself becoming content in the future.

Whenever you have to change your personality to be with another, and it is not a change you enjoy, think about moving on. It is time to honor yourself. Love yourself enough to see that this relationship is dragging you down, and do something about it.

ANSWER: Unconditional love is a hard thing to find when you are still in a physical body and dealing with the third-dimensional duality. That type of love is easy to find when there is no negativity around and you never have a need to judge, rate, or grade someone else’s behavior. In other words, any place but on Earth!

Everything that you do is done within the realm of a society that contributes rules and regulations to your everyday behavior, whether or not you accept them as being a part of your personal belief system. You would get the opinion of family, friends, and colleagues about the way the two of you live your lives if not in strict compliance with societal norms. This is not bad if you feel comfortable with it.

To live your lives in unconditional love would be to allow (with acceptance) your partner to do whatever they wish to do whenever they wish to do it. That would include having affairs with other people, spending all your money, selling your favorite things, and not paying any attention to what you have to say, while you sit by unconditionally loving that they have the right to do such things.

Doesn’t sound so good now, does it? The spiritual path to enlightenment and being closer to your true self as a soul – a piece of Source – is to shed as much negativity as you possibly can and place your egoist judgment on hold. Every time you sense you are judging your partner, step back and ask what it is that is causing you to do so. Fears and doubts point the way to life lessons you came to work through, confront, and send on their way. This will help both of you grow.

This “difficulty” you perceive has nothing to do with past lives except that searching for the spiritual path is the purpose for coming to Earth in the first place. You are doing very well with this journey since you have identified ego as a problem and are examining what being free of ego would mean to you.

Keep at your work and you will get as close to unconditional love, on Earth, as is possible without compromising who you are.

ANSWER: Do you devalue yourself so much that you think it is all right for this man to lie to you about an issue that is important to you? Plus, even with condoms, there is the possibility of his conveying his seropositive condition to you, potentially endangering your life. In addition to health issues, he is now alcoholic, depressed, and destructive. Why did you still remain with him? What is there to love? Leaving him was the only sensible thing to do.

He had power over you because you allowed him to. You are the type of person who believes a man is necessary for a woman to have a normal life. You have always been in dependent relationships where you relied on the decisions of the man. You need to bring a sharing partner to your life. To do that, you have to love and value yourself. You are as important, powerful, and worthy as any man who has ever existed.

Ask yourself: Do you love yourself? Do you love everything about yourself? If you are living the spiritual life you claim, you will know the difference between loving and liking. Loving comes from making the most of this lifetime to learn the chosen lessons, and knowing that most can only be learned through negativity; understanding the way not to do something allows you to learn how to do it.

Liking is judging yourself against the way others look, think, and act. Spirituality is letting go of judgment and the beliefs of others to live life as it feels best for you—how it resonates with you. It is possible to love everything about yourself yet not like all the things you are doing right now such as permitting others to take advantage of you. Just still love the fact you can make the decision to have it occur.

ANSWER: Be yourself; don’t do things just because you think they will please him or cause him to fall in love with you. At the same time, be honest with him and how you feel. He is stuck in the disaster of his last relationship and fears getting involved again. He is in a time warp of wanting the good things he had before and then reliving the tragedy that was his association with the other woman.

To reawaken his desire to join with another, you must give him a reason to become vulnerable to someone again. A true sharing relationship requires one to be open and truthful in all their feelings with the other. When he was open to his last companion, she used his inner feelings and fears to manipulate him and emasculate him. He needs to feel safe and not controlled.

If you are looking for a fast connection, he is not the one for you. It is going to take time for him to trust you and what you have to say. You already sense this about him, and that is why you have the insecurity and feelings that you do.

It is possible to grow into a very strong relationship with him if you do it slowly and with much communication. Encourage him to be open and truthful with you about his feelings and fears. Talk over the hesitancies you each are experiencing, and together, work out a comfortable solution.

If you truly feel for this man, don’t give up. Take the patience that it will require to make him feel secure and happy again. You both will learn and grow from this effort.

ANSWER: You and Simon are from the same soul group. You have incarnated many times together to help each other understand particular lessons. In this lifetime you were to help each other see how to open up to someone and feel what a sharing relationship is like. You have accomplished that purpose—just think back to the most intense encounters you have shared.

Once you have gotten to the point of understanding your lesson, you will have nothing else to teach each other, so you will be able to walk away permanently from the relationship. You had planned for a short interlude and not a lifetime encounter. You have both sensed that it was time to find another, and to apply what has been awakened, but that old familiarity keeps dragging you back together—much like the old, worn-out bedroom slippers you just cannot allow yourself to throw out. The new and unknown is scarier.

Your relationship has shifted now that you have completed your mission with each other. You are still soul mates, so there is still a comfortable sense in the other’s presence. It is up to your freedom of choice what you do from here on out. You can split completely so there is no temptation from past acts, you can remain confidants, or you can remain friends: it’s your choice.

ANSWER: Every soul who is having a human experience creates their own reality by the choices they make. Part of their lesson choice may be to be altruistic and to take care of others at the expense of their own journey and learning. Society suggests the sanctity of marriage and the responsibility of one party for the other is not optional. But this is a choice, not a requirement, in the spiritual prospective.

If you sense that a lesson of yours is to be dogged in your care for your spouse, then that is what you should do. If you understand that your spiritual journey is a solo affair where you are only responsible for your own growth, then marriage is simply a societal obligation that is binding only if you so decide.

There are many things that can prevent a long-term relationship. One partner wonders off into other pastures, never looking back. Should the remaining partner keep the home fires burning awaiting their return? That is a freedom of choice question.

The type of loving response you ask about concerns the third-dimensional choice within the duality of positive and negative. Exiting the duality and becoming enlightened removes the negative aspect to physical love and makes it unconditional and positive only. That results in nothing being right or wrong but just a choice of what can teach you the most. Blindly accepting another’s changes is saying that they know more about what you need to grow than you do. There may be no love coming from them to find.

As people change with the experiences they have, they may no longer be suited for the union that once seemed perfect. Becoming proficient at addition and subtraction will serve you little in calculus. And if your partner has not advanced in mathematics, you may no longer have anything to share and to talk about. The choice, of course, is always yours to make. But, do honor yourself and your reason for incarnating.

ANSWER: Choose to take control of your life. You are letting your husband and your fears hold you hostage. You are an extremely strong person but you don’t accept that. You would easily be able to manage without your cheating husband as a millstone around your neck. He doesn’t care for you, likes the idea of holding you hostage because of your fear of being able to survive without him, and will only get more brazen as time goes on.

Why do you even have the thought that something might happen to you? That is just another excuse you are putting in the way of leaving him. Nothing is going to happen to you just because you are on your own. You will find a support system of family and friends who will be there for you and the children.

Nothing is right or wrong in the journey of the soul. If you choose to remain in your situation, you must learn from the emotional abuse to which you are being subjected. You do not deserve to be treated as you are, but the abuse will continue until you say no more and walk out. The choice is yours.

ANSWER: Both you and your husband are involved in a series of lessons. You have been co-dependent since you met. Both of you have been able to grow a lot because each of you only had to deal with the issues that the other didn’t. This recent change in your relationship has opened up all the things for which the other person has not been responsible, and has asked each of you if you are ready to learn these lessons.

This woman is not your husband’s twin flame or he would not have been able to tear himself away to come back to you. She is someone with whom he made a contract to come into his life at this time and force him to think about what he values in life. Is his love for you and the family—and he does love you—more important to him than the excitement of a dangerous-feeling fling? There is no permanence with this woman but a lot of volatility and adventure, a vacation he seeks to prolong.

Your husband has been craving action, the sensation of not being tied down or obligated, as he has been feeling. His lesson is to determine what he wants from his life; the choice is his. It is possible to love two different women for two very different reasons. You have been his support; she his current excitement.

Your lesson involves what you feel about yourself. Are you strong enough to trust your feelings in this situation and follow through with them? You must take a look at why the hurt and pain was so strong. You can feel negative emotions only if you let them in and feel you somehow deserve them. Your husband’s actions are a part of his life plan; neither of you owns the other. You are perfectly right in not tolerating his behavior, but you did nothing wrong so why feel hurt or pain? You are a magnificent soul on a journey. You choose the direction and the stops along the way. Let your innermost feelings tell you what to do next. You have a keen intuition; allow it to guide you.

ANSWER: One of your biggest lessons in this lifetime has been to experience control in various aspects. An abusive relationship is one of the most common ways to experience this trait. In this case, of course, your wife is the controller and you are the controlee or slave. Even though your wife has moved on to another situation where she has someone else she can control, her new boy friend, she desires to maintain her control over you at the same time.

A controller sucks the energy out of those whom they control. The fear, anxiety, and trepidation experienced by the controlled allow the controller to feel absolute power. Why would anyone want to give up power? That is why your wife does not want to leave. Other people’s fear, money, and degradation reward her and fuel her need to maintain control.

You must recognize that you no longer have to allow your wife to tell you what to do. Push forward with your divorce proceedings; you have many valid reasons in the law to end the relationship. You must realize that you are as powerful as she; if you recognize it, then accept it and start using your power. When you assume your rightful authority you will no longer live in fear or be bothered with high blood pressure because your life will return to harmony and balance.

ANSWER: A relationship exists between any two humans who have dealings with each other – be it family, business, or social. It also refers to behaviors one has chosen for oneself to express their life. Overshadowing all this is the soul’s freedom of choice to address these issues in the exact fashion it wishes. Giving power to anyone else to affect your life is allowing them to take over your freedom of choice and have your world run as they desire.

Relationships take many forms such as active, passive, repulsive, and avoiding. In an active relationship, both parties are involved in the energy of the activity, frequently called a sharing one, but it might also be a co-dependence where each party needs the other for self-sustenance. In a passive affiliation, you are in this connection through birth, marriage, or employment, and you take no active part in sustaining it.

When emotions enter into one side or the other, such as you with your in-laws, the response may result in repulsing the connection or avoiding it all together. These always include huge amounts of negativity, bringing additional negativity into other aspects of your life. Your biggest problem is dealing with this negativity.

Solutions start with your response to the negativity. Do you let it taint your reaction to life? Do you wallow in it and let it fester and increase? Be conscious of how you feel about yourself. Choose to remain in unconditional love rather than basking in negativity. If you let the taunting of your in-laws take hold of you so that you accept some or all of their rantings, they win because you give up your freedom of choice to them.

It is important for both you and your husband to make your own mind up concerning this marriage. If you feel it is the right thing for you, then ignore what everyone else has to say and support each other in your love. Acknowledge that these people have the right to their opinions, but that doesn’t mean you have to acquiesce to their conclusions. You will then no longer have to run away through actions and addictions to avoid the situation. Just be an observer and not a participant.

ANSWER: You chose to have a life where you would have to decide whether or not to honor yourself and respect your feelings or be a mannequin. It is difficult to love someone from whom you feel no love in return. Your husband wants you to be the adoring, loving wife while he does whatever he chooses. He does not respect you and you have arrived at the point of no longer respecting yourself.

Don’t think that just because you do not argue in front of the children, they think all is well. They feel the tension in the house and are very observant. Your situation has caused you to defer to your husband’s wishes. The children see this and think it must be the right thing to do. You are therefore setting an example of allowing the man of the house to control those living within.

You have freedom of choice—so you can continue as you are or decide to change the way you live. It is important to first accept that you are as good a person, and as strong a soul, as your husband. You do not need to be treated the way you are. Your desires and thoughts are equally as important as his.

There are two kinds of love involved here. There is the spiritual love for him as a soul, which you have. Then there is the emotional human romantic love, which is not happening between you. You cannot cause an emotional love to come just because you would like it to. You also can never have a true sense of romantic love unless you have a physical love of yourself. You get this from respecting where you are and what you are doing on Earth. You need to work on loving yourself more.

ANSWER: You have very little faith in your own abilities to hold on to a good man. You are imagining all kinds of reasons for your man not to honor you, such as betraying you by cheating on you when he is away. He has not yet done so. But he can sense all this doubt and negativity you are projecting, which is creating a wedge between you. You are even making him unconsciously think you want him to, or are giving him permission to, have affairs.

Stop sending all this anxiety from within you to blast him with uncertainty. Examine why you are jealous, insecure, and angry. You have allowed yourself to be treated this way in the past, but you can stop it by no longer letting these types of emotions into your life. You need to see yourself as strong, confident, and self-reliant.

Communication is the easiest way to clear all these doubts from you. Talk to him. Tell him your fears, your wants, and your desires. Make sure he is in tune with you and wants to share all that he is with you. Openly sharing yourself makes you vulnerable, but it is the only way to establish a firm connection with someone.

Don’t hide your insecurities from him. Join together to deal with your problems – the real and the imagined. It takes work to create a wonderful, fulfilling relationship. How badly do you really want one?

ANSWER: Humans who are on a spiritual path to enlightenment become sensitive to the intense energy of those who have the knowledge and ability to reach out into the universe. When you began working with this teacher, he felt like a shining star with incredible positive energy because you were coming from the basic third-dimensional ego judgment where negativity is the default setting.

Teachers only show you their best, most desired attributes when you first start working with them so that you will stay around and continue with them instead of seeking out another. In a romantic relationship your partner definitely starts with what he/she thinks you want. When you are not fully invested in the partnership it is easy to hide those things which might otherwise scare you away.

Discernment is the spiritual principle of taking apart the actions and events in your life and seeing what lessons are hidden inside. The sense you are getting that there is still something you have to do with this relationship is true. You have not figured out why you have such intense feelings about this perception of distrust, betrayal, resentment, and vengeance. These are all your lessons, which you have not understood completely.

You do not need to have any more “face time” with this man. You merely need to go into the fears, doubts, and strong reactions your time together has fostered. You are too fast to always apologize and take the blame for things. You should stop and look and see if, in fact, there is anything for which you should apologize.

The driving force behind your current feelings is a sense that unfinished work remains. Start on that understanding a little at a time. Whenever you sense any of those strong emotions, ask yourself why they are present. Some of the things that happened between you and this person were there to trigger lessons from prior lives. The work now is a solo job.

ANSWER: Your son sees your current situation as an example of what destruction can be created by a piece of paper that seemingly binds people together. Your marriage has been a sham for at least a decade and will not get any better. You have nothing in common with your husband any longer. If you want to grow in understanding of yourself in this life, you must distance yourself from him.

Your son is afraid that he may get stuck in a situation like yours. He vows not to allow himself to be held captive as you are. That is why he feels that he will have to get a divorce after a period of time rather than live in a tumultuous place such as the one you have chosen.

You must be true to yourself and do what is best for you. You fear the unknown, grieve for what might have been, and feel guilt because you cannot make this union work. Trust in yourself and you will find the way to a happy life. Change the grief into relief that you will no longer be living a lie. You are not in a successful marriage; leave it and find another that will satisfy you. Acknowledging your feelings is not cause for guilt; you should rejoice at no longer having to pretend to others that you are happy. Being honest with yourself and others is nothing to regret.

Your husband wants only to keep you as a possession to take care of his needs. Your son sees easily the problems that arise the longer you two stay together. Have him talk to his father and free you from this restrictive situation.

ANSWER: Hello! Are you really looking at this situation with your eyes open? Your husband still cares very deeply for his ex. You were just a replacement for her when she no longer wanted to have anything to do with him. Now that he shows her attention, she wants him back. When they were together before, he treated her as he is treating you now, doing for everyone but her.

Your husband has this fascination for things that he supposedly cannot or should not possess. He is not aware of anyone’s feelings but his own. He likes to have women fighting over him—it makes him feel important. He lacks confidence in himself, and one way for him to think he is great is to have others in competition for him, even if it is just his ability to fix things.

This is who he is and he is not going to change. You can accept that and carry on or you can exercise your freedom of choice and throw him out. You are a beautiful, loving soul; honor yourself and do not allow yourself to be abused in this fashion.

ANSWER: When in the presence of pure elevated energy, like that at a spiritual retreat, you frequently see through the covering of the physical disguise each human wears, and go through to the essence of the soul beneath. Since all souls are composed of Source energy, and were broken off from Source, you sense unconditional love at its most intense. When you are attracted to someone thus revealed, you are attracted not to their personality but to their soul.

Your relationship with your husband is a typical life marriage in which you can learn tons of lessons about personal interactions and physical love. You and he have done extremely well in assisting each other through this life. The times of greatest difficulty have been when one pointed out something the other wished to deny. Your retreat occurrence is a point of reference for you between your core essence and your physical one. It is not between this other guy and your husband.

This is a lesson in clarity. Just what is happening here? How do you feel about this situation? You have adequately analyzed the parties and what can and cannot be. Yet you continue to look for something else instead of going with the feelings you have. Open to your intuition and follow it. What you can’t get off your mind is the sensation of his core unconditional love—but then your husband has that as well.

Work on finding and bringing that love to the surface. Gathering research information of what can be is not betraying, cheating, or disrespecting your husband, unless you think it is. Part of your feelings arise because you have not tried very hard lately to reach the essence of your husband. Throw the guilt away and start a renewed honeymoon.

ANSWER: The urge you have to move is twofold. First, the energy in your current area is not conducive for your spiritual growth; the energy in the North is. Second, you need to break completely from everything that is now your world, to move to the next stage of your life. You are finding your strengths in this life, at this time. Honor the feelings that define who you are becoming. Rely upon your intuitions for you have developed them over many different lifetimes.

Your sense of dependence upon others exists only because you have not had the opportunity to be on your own and take care of yourself. Family and friends have dictated a lot of your past. You now have to make the decision. Exercise that freedom of choice which is yours, if you want to continue with those energies to grab hold of your future and blaze the trail on your own.

Making your own pathway is quite independent of your husband or soon-to-be ex’s responsibility for his children. You should definitely pursue a course that will provide for their needs from his pocket. The children are very strong and have their own impression of what is happening. Ask their opinions to give you a counterbalance for any drastic changes you are contemplating.

ANSWER: You are your own worst enemy. You have so many expectations of how the business should be run, based on the way you have run your own in the past, that you think you know what is best for your boss and what the other employees should do and how they should treat you. When someone is responsible for the work ethic of a team of employees, they expect the same type of effort by all the employees.

Based on the performance of past workers, your boss knows what each should be capable of. You used to spend more time with clients than this business allots to each. This makes you think that the boss is making unreasonable demands when that is not the case. The other employees think you are snooty and don’t want to see as many people as they do. They equate your behavior with a standoffish superiority.

When someone is paying you to work for them, you have to follow their rules and regulations or it will never be comfortable for either one of you. To “fit in” and feel a part of the organization, you must learn what is expected. If you do not like their way of doing business, look elsewhere.

Watch the way the other employees handle their clients and see if you want to adapt to the same structure. The other workers have never run their own business and do not understand that there are many ways to deal with clients. The choice is yours if you want to comply with the expectations of the boss or not.

ANSWER: Your life’s purpose is to discover as much about your essence, your soul energy, as you can while you are in your human body. Discovering why your marriage did not work and that it was time to move on was all about learning one of those lessons. It took finding out your husband had been controlling you to make you see there were other ways to live.

During the time of your marriage he made most of the decisions, whether or not you agreed; as a matter of fact, you had no say at all. Once you accepted that you could choose what you felt was best for you, you understood the need to remove yourself from his control. This was not a failed marriage but an experience from which you learned more about yourself.

Since you have always been in situations where someone has told you what to do—your family, then your husband—you feel lonely and “needy.” Your thoughts about and infatuation with your male friend are merely your belief that you need someone, a male, to tell you what to do. You have never had to take total responsibility for your life. Assuming responsibility for all aspects of your existence is a new lesson for you to work through.

You need “alone” time to go into your feelings and see what blockages are within you. If you constantly run and hide or have others around to make the decisions, you will never be able to see the things upon which you need to work. The first step in your healing is awareness. Awareness is impossible if you cannot feel and see yourself because you are in the shadow of another.

Your friend is nothing more than that. And caring what others might think if you do something your feelings say is right for you says that those people know better what is right for you than you know yourself. Follow your own feelings and forget what others say.

ANSWER: Each soul is on their own path throughout their human life. Sometimes it parallels that of another individual, but most often paths just come together for brief periods of shared experiences. When two people have the same intentions for their existence, they become very close since they share goals and possible ways of reaching them.

You and your friend had the same ideas about living at the time of your closeness. Once you began to have varying interests and destinations, the journeys diverged. Most of your old companionship cycled around commonly shared purposes and figuring them out. If you still had things you could talk about, you would. Nothing caused this separation but each of you living a different life. It is time to move on to someone who can share where you are today.

If you live next door to someone or attend a class with another, you are drawn together by the activities those things encompass. When one person moves, you no longer have the neighborhood activity to discuss. When you finish your class, you each go on to something else in which the other has no interest. This is life.

You are overthinking this situation. You would like the happy times to always be there. But just like your first bike with its training wheels: you have outgrown it and must find a more convenient mode of transportation.

ANSWER: Your husband has turned into a self-indulgent, selfish person. He cares only for himself and how much he can get others to do for him. He is extremely unhappy and is dragging you down with him, and he doesn’t care.

Every soul comes to Earth with their own agendas. They have no obligations to take responsibility for others unless they choose to do so. You have been a good and faithful wife and at first were rewarded with a sharing relationship. What you are experiencing now is nothing more than attempting to honor the piece of paper that societally bound you to this man.

What you do from this point forward is up to you. You may maintain this hapless existence or move on. He has no intention of changing his current behavior pattern, so you must decide how you want your life to play out. You are not attached physically to him, but emotionally you cling to the memories of the “good times” you shared. They are gone and will not return.

Everyone creates their own reality by the choices they make. There is no spiritual law that says you have to allow this man to create your reality by the demands he makes and the state in which he chooses to exist. Recognize that, for your own sanity, you have to make changes in your life and the interactions you have with others. At the very least, find something outside the home to occupy your time. And at the extreme, if it still is too overpowering, leave for a while to visit someone. He will see everything that you do for him and may decide to be more proactive in his own life.

You are not stuck in this situation unless you allow yourself to be. You have freedom of choice for anything from minor changes to relocation.

ANSWER: This man is not your soul mate. The contract you had was to awaken each other to the ability to share with another in a non-threatening manner. Before this experience he had closed in upon himself completely. He was in fear of sharing himself in any way. Most of his experiences in life had been similar in the threats of being controlled and abused by others. While you have provided him with the possibilities, he is not ready to accept that he has freedom of choice in all things.

He has gone back into his protective shell. The sound of your voice reminds him of what might have been, and that he is cheating himself because of his fear of change. He does not want to remember, so he cringes at the sound of your voice. He is making the choice to fall back into old patterns rather than face unknown fears and move forward.

The only feeling he has for you right now is one of dread—a fear that you will force him to face decisions he does not want to acknowledge. The future decisions he will make are all completely up to him. He may choose to see you again, but he would have to work through a lot of issues to be able to bring himself to that point.

Your “knowing” that you belong together is just wishful thinking because of the ease you found in communicating with him. You have the ability to do this with others as well. Remember the way the exchange felt and search for that as you have contact with others. Get out of your dream expectation of having a life with this man. You are committing yourself to a relationship that is not to be.

The energy you have identified with him is actually the sense of freedom of being without fear when with another. Take that feeling and apply it to other partners and it will feel the same. Stop fixating on this one man, and be open to the other possibilities in the world around you. While waiting for the next man to come into your life, look for the unconditional love of your soul, which is inside, and the loneliness will disappear.

ANSWER: Your two souls set up a series of trials for each other. You wanted to experience coming to realization about freedom of choice when confronted with self-esteem, self-worth, self-love, control, and responsibility issues. You have been confronting these tests but not accepting the outcome.

The excitement of your life drew you into accepting whatever your husband decided was going to be—hence no responsibility for you. Now you are considering taking that power back and making your own decisions. The fear you feel is tied up with the self issues. You don’t believe you can live alone. You don’t think you have what it takes to manage your life without him. And who would be there to love and provide for you?

Your husband senses you are getting stronger and close to realizing you are capable of existing without him, so he has decided to invest some of himself to keep you around. He is becoming what you thought he was when you married him: sweet, gentle, and obliging. You have been a possession of his throughout your time together and he does not want to admit he could not keep you.

Your fear to tell him what you feel is part of an old belief system which says the man is always in control and right about everything: you must be an obedient little wife. You have given him your power to make decisions about your life for so long that you are hesitant to take over. You must accept that you know more about what will make you happy than he does. Admit to yourself you are as powerful as he is, as all souls are alike.

The secret ingredient to a fulfilling life on Earth is tapping in to self-love. All souls originate from an unconditionally loving Source, and their essence is unconditional love. Few ever bring that love into a physical life. Do that and you can do anything.

ANSWER: Having a physical loving relationship is only one of many reasons that bring a soul to Earth. When humans spend all their time searching for someone else, it is because they do not feel comfortable with themselves, and they definitely do not love themselves as the magnificent souls they are. You should first ask yourself: Why are you afraid of spending time solely with yourself? Why can you not love the person you are?

Your inability to partner with a woman is caused by the passion you bring to the situation. Someone your own age is terrified—as you also should be—of the intensity you assign to a relationship. You do not even know what “love” is. You have created a need for an imaginary thing. You did not have the sense of belonging and being loved that you desired in your childhood so you fantasized about getting it elsewhere. A girlfriend, or even a wife, is not going to immediately solve your sense of worthlessness and being loved.

Before you forsake this beautiful life, go inside and connect with the unconditional love that resides with your soul. Discover what a fantastic soul you have. Understand you are a piece of Source and, as such, are as great, wonderful, and deserving as Source itself. Before you become obsessed with another human being, become obsessed with understanding and loving yourself.

ANSWER: Take a good look at the person you are now—you have worked hard to be who you are. A good portion of that work was discovering the fact that for years you were controlled in the relationship and did not make your own decisions. When he left, you were forced to see that you possessed much more ability than you imagined or had given yourself credit for.

Remember it takes two to tango. He wanted to be the dominant in the relationship. It was when you began to question some of what was happening and wanted to start taking a little more responsibility for your own actions that he decided to leave. You were no longer an agreeable little pet. He has not changed—he is still a selfish, demanding person.

You could pursue a renewal of your partnership but it was never that, and it could never be a partnership. To get back together you would have to go back to the obedient little girlfriend who waits on, and takes care of, the man of the house. He has moved into a relationship where he has some shy person who has self-image issues, just like you were when you began with him.

To get back together you would have to throw away your new-found unconditional love, self-love, and joy. Instead, use your new gifts to manifest a worthy partner—one who will enter into a sharing, loving relationship where you are honored for who you are, not for what the man wants you to be. You are a beautiful soul; bring in a beautiful, loving, whole person to share your life. You deserve it.

ANSWER: What does losing a parent have to do with cheating on you? Your husband is a victim type. He blames his childhood difficulties for all his acting out. You on the other hand have insecurity issues; you drew your first husband to you because you had no confidence in yourself and at first saw his action as normal. It wasn’t until you opened your eyes that you realized you had a choice not to be abused.

After that relationship your energy was bruised and your husband saw an easy person who would not question his actions. This is not the only time he has pleased himself in addition to when you were pregnant. Whenever you were not observant of his needs he went elsewhere. He is a very needy person who feels it is all right to search wherever he can for comfort. He professes his sorrow only because he was caught.

You have a gorgeous child who needs to see you stand up for yourself. You are still being abused – this time it is psychological abuse. Choose what type of life you want to live. Your emotions are cycling between being hurt and blaming yourself in some way for your husband’s actions. You are as strong, magnificent, and worthy as any other soul. Give yourself credit and stand up for yourself.

If you decide to stay with your husband, talk the situation out with him. Be vigilant about all that he says to you and what he does. Make him responsible for his actions. If he cannot tolerate having only one partner, run, do not walk, away from him. You do not deserve to be with a man who does not honor you.

ANSWER: Your fears and doubts are the signposts showing you where your life lessons are presenting themselves to you. Using logic is relying on what society says should happen and what has worked for others as they have reported. Logic is judgment – the work of the ego – and has nothing to do with a spiritual evaluation of the events you are facing.

The fears keep returning because you are thinking about them logically but not dealing with them emotionally and spiritually. They pop up because there is a lesson triggering their appearance and you are not paying attention to it. When one appears ask yourself: Why is this here? How does it make me feel? What past event did I bury instead of completing the learning process?

Don’t “think” the answers, but allow yourself to “feel” them. This will take you to the events you need to work through. You can then see what you have been holding on to instead of releasing. Acknowledge that you can clean these things out of your “closet” and have room to live without these ghosts remaining in hiding.

“Flaws” are your excuse for looking the other way when changes are required. Being in control is one of your lessons. Control is an illusion. No one can really control another unless that person consents. No one can control a situation because with each additional person involved, there are that many variables to multiply into the equation until it is overwhelming.

Hold on to and unconditionally love that fantastic man you have. You have nothing to doubt about him. See him for who he is and don’t paint him with your fears from any other time in your life.

ANSWER: You are living with a man who has a dependency on maintaining possessions. He is also paranoid, possessive, selfish, and domineering. He is creating a hazardous living condition. It is very easy for bugs and rodents to take up residence in stored, never-moved items. Paper and cloth goods piled high with no ventilation between them become fire dangers.

He is showing you his unreasonable side in not talking to you about his problem. Just saying he feels he might need the items sometime in the future is an insufficient explanation. Being threatened by a partner throwing out old newspapers that are not being used is showing the degree of his psychological problem.

Have you noticed that your entire relationship has become one-sided? That the only thing ever considered is what he wants? It is time to stick up for yourself. It is time to honor the fact that you are just as important in the relationship as he is. Ask: what are you getting out of this partnership? At what cost to your self-esteem?

You must evaluate and see how you feel about the future with this person. Is being used and not considered important the way you value yourself? If not, find someone to talk to. Get some counseling. Talk him into counseling if he wants to save your relationship. You both need to get an outsider to look and tell you what neither of you can see or will admit.

ANSWER: Your husband is that in name only. He has carved out his own life in his own way. He has never confided much in you and just let you take care of the “house.” You have to ask yourself what you think your marriage represents. It certainly does not represent a couple sharing all their daily problems and triumphs. When was the last time you spent any time together discussing your joint life? This is an indication of the shell your marriage has become.

It is now freedom-of-choice time. You must decide if this is a sufficient existence for you or if you need to move on. It is very difficult for you to get a straight answer out of your husband about your current state of affairs. He has not been open with you in a very long time. If you wish to remain in this pattern, then do nothing. If you think there is a possibility of saving this marriage, push him into talking to you. If you think everything has become hopeless, then it is time to move on with your own life separately.

Fear is a powerful adversary. You perceive anything other than the present situation as more scary than what you can see and understand. But that is not necessarily correct. Because you have never had to manage on your own for any length of time you think you cannot do it. You have all the capabilities to manage your life on your own—if you choose to do it.

You are a beautiful, magnificent person with all the background needed to take care of yourself. You have a good support group that will assist. Whether your choice is to go it alone, or to confront your husband to find out what is actually happening in his world, the sooner you do it the faster you will be on the road to moving out of “stuckville” and into the exciting future.

ANSWER: Your husband worked to make you forget your deep love by replacing it with a fear of himself and his actions. You were very naïve and vulnerable at that young age. You let him convince you of what you truly wanted. Your desire to have a family blinded you to the situation and you accepted that he knew what was good for you better than you did. You gave him all your power.

Your excuse of not leaving him because of the children is just a reason to not deal with something you didn’t think you could do. The living situation with his temper and actions has been more frightening for the children than getting a divorce and finding an alternative living arrangement. You are still allowing him to make all your decisions for you.

It is time to step up and take responsibility for your own future. Spending all your time in dreams is being disrespectful to yourself and those around you. Where are the children while you are in your fantasy world? Do you think they are in any better position than you in standing up to their father and facing reality?

Your brief contact with another potential partner was doomed to failure because you didn’t believe you deserved to have happiness since your power is still in the hands of your husband. Ask yourself: Who is important to you?

Your husband’s future is up to him. He has always been a bully because it is the only way he feels he can be in control. He is basically a very fearful individual but is beginning to realize he doesn’t have to be disrespectful to others.

What you must do is decide if you want to be completely responsible for yourself. If you do, you must learn to love yourself enough to do what resonates within you and not let others push you around. The choice is yours.

ANSWER: This young, ambitious lady is not a soul mate. She is just the first female you have become acquainted with who would be a perfect match for you. There are many more out there; she is not the only one. That is not to say that, all things being considered, it would never work out for the two of you.

So far everything has been mostly one-sided. Her only concerns right now are her career and moving ahead in life. She feels that she is not ready to become involved in a relationship because she does not have the time. She has not thought of you in the way you have thought of her because she knows it is an impossibility right now. She has trouble getting everything done that is required of her, and anything additional would derail her journey.

You have placed an incredible burden upon yourself by thinking she is your soul mate and you might have this one and only opportunity for love. Relax! Unconditional love, which comes from a soul mate, does not have elements of fear, frustrations, doubts, and worries. It flows and fills the time where both of you accommodate the relationship.

You now have an example of the type of person you need. Put your intention out to bring such a person to you who is ready to share in a partnership. And when it comes to seeing if she feels the same way about you that you do about her, ask.

ANSWER: All souls have freedom of choice, but they don’t realize it if they are unaware of what the potential choices are. In order for a society to exist it must propagate itself, and in order to do that the male and female populations must mate and increase. These are beliefs that are ingrained in all humans as they are being raised. You must have a mate; you must produce children for the continuation of society.

This belief is like all the other ones instilled in you since birth. Listen to your elders because they always know what to do; don’t talk to strangers – they may be predators; treat even the bad people the way you would like to be treated; you will be rewarded for your good deeds and doing as you are expected. These beliefs stick with you until you analyze them and see that they may not be the way you wish to live, so you discard some and change others. This is the recognition of your choices in life.

Not all souls come to the planet to have romantic relationships. Some are on a path of exploration of what they alone can do without committing to unions that prevent them from being able to do whatever and whenever they want. You have no obligation to have a partner, to get married, or to have children in this lifetime. You have done it in many past lives, and this time you wished to experience living on your own.

You are accepting responsibility for your choices and learning from them. You are not being hindered in your decisions by an obligation to a spouse. There are no rules in a spiritual sense. Right now you need your independence to fulfill your goal of finding out who you are as a person. Don’t let other people’s beliefs try to control your life. Be yourself, and honor the fact that you can and are doing just that.

Create whatever type of reality you desire. Know you have the ability to change it at any time that you feel a need. Enjoy life, embrace your journey.

ANSWER: You are trying to compartmentalize your life. Over here, I will do everything that is necessary to learn lessons to gain wisdom to take back Home with me, and over here I want the physical comforts available only on Earth. Has it ever occurred to you that the search for yourself and your lessons surrounds your search for physical contact?

In your need for physical contact you see it as having nothing to do with your life lessons. You think that in order to have a “comforting” physical relationship with another human you have to (a) be mostly human as opposed to mostly spiritual, (b) adhere to Earthbound (third dimensional) standards, and (c) give your power over to that relationship so as to satisfy the other person and keep him interested in the relationship.

Your lesson is all about physical interaction and being able to maintain your own individuality while enjoying this interaction. In the past you have been so desperate to be comforted that you have given up your freedom of choice to follow your partners’ wishes. You conformed to their mission in life and thought of yours only when you realized they had taken away your identity.

What you desire is to share your soul’s energy with another, not engage in a pseudo-connected, physical comforting. Right now, you settle for human touch rather than human emotional compatibility. Also in this need you feel, you send out the message that any physical body that can take care of your needs will be accepted. What you have drawn to yourself are souls that have a lack of self-worth and seek to get it from you by turning you into their puppet.

In knowing yourself, honor yourself and your freedom of choice. Define who you are at this time and be comfortable with who you are. Then send out the message that this grand person seeks to share herself with another equally comfortable and aware human. This will bring in only those souls that know themselves and want to share themselves with you, not control and feed off of your energy.

ANSWER: Your ex-boyfriend didn’t need to have anyone to help him accept the dark force that he carries. He is very impressed with power and he senses that negative energy is much stronger and more powerful than positive energy. That is true only when, as he has done, one rids oneself of all positive thoughts and thrives in the negative.

His ex-wife does use black magic and witchcraft to influence people, but those people have to be willing participants to have the treatment stay and intensify within them. Your ex-boyfriend likes the negativity of the bad spirit that is with him. He uses the spirit to strengthen his own negativity to increase his control over others.

Even before the negative spirit came on board, your boyfriend had started to change. You have changed also, but you are becoming more aware of the goodness in the world, while he seeks the evil. He is no longer the person with whom you fell in love. For the two of you to be able to have a comfortable relationship, either he would have to give up his control, or you would have to give up your goodness.

As for negative spirits, they prevent you from living your own life and learning what you came to Earth to learn. The problem is that it is his choice whether or not to send the spirit packing. No one else can make that decision for him.

ANSWER: This gentleman is a member of your soul group. You have shared a number of lives, which is why you feel so comfortable together. That déjà vu feeling comes from connecting with the energies you have previously experienced with each other.

Your need to “help” him comes from uncompleted contracts from the past. It was a failure on his behalf, not yours. You do not owe him anything. He has made contracts with others to learn the lesson he chose in the previous life but could not finish. In this life he is not as aware of his soul journey as you are of yours. He just knows when he feels an attraction to someone and thinks that any attraction must be physical—mostly sexual.

You can easily remain friends with him as long as you do not allow him to suck you into his drama. For you he is here to define who you are and what this life means to you. He is pulling on your emotions, and you must see if there is a lesson for you— something that will allow you to see what you feel about romantic entanglements. His position in this meeting is to learn that not all friends of the opposite sex are potential sex partners. He is here to learn about sharing connections in order to understand himself and life.

A. Each soul is totally responsible for their actions and what they call to itself – what you call “creating”. When two people work together to create the same scenario they are both responsible for the output of the energy they invest. Therefore the result is a shared venture.

Your partner is allowing you to direct the desired result for both of you, giving power up to you in the sense that you alone decide what changes to experience. At this time, you and you alone create this new environment. Your partner then joins you in enjoying your creation, and in enjoying it, he also accepts it as his own. This is a perfect example of a codependency in one of the aspects of coupling with another. In this situation you both still maintain your own identity for all other facets of your life.

Your partner is very happy to sit back and let you do the work. He somewhat fears change and chooses to make it only after he has seen that someone else has been successful in directing it to him. Your partner does not have any confidence in his ability to make the “right” decision for the future. This dependency on you is neither right nor wrong – it is the path he wishes to experience at this time. It looks as if that is going to change in the future.

ANSWER: You and your wife have a number of contracts you agreed to work on in this life. The period of difficulty that drove you to Switzerland was ego based in both of you. When you start out a relationship not being true to yourself but acting as you think the other person wants you to, you are on a shaky foundation. As the marriage continued it was impossible to live a lie with each other and your egos came out, causing you to be repelled by the other person as if you were strangers.

During the time you have been away, your wife has forgotten the reasons for the differences and imagines you as you were at the beginning of the union. She is not being realistic but living in a dream world. You can only see from your perspective and, since you loved her romantically very much, blame yourself for the fact you have been able to move on while she has not. People can be hurt only if they allow themselves to feel the hurt.

Your current lady friend is someone with whom you were yourself from the beginning. You had nothing to prove, no expectations, so it was easy to just be yourself. This feels so good and uncomplicated it feels safe. Spiritually this is a lesson that you learned. Life is about who you are, not who you pretend to be.

You equate taking responsibility for your actions with taking the “blame” for how others are affected and how everyone feels about a situation. Everything in your life now—your stress at work, your regret about your wife’s feelings, your terrible thoughts—is being driven by what you think you deserve. If you want to paint yourself as the “evil one,” deserving of punishment, you are doing a great job.

It is time to decide how the rest of your life will play out. Will you scourge yourself for the rest of your life? Will you go back to a marriage that will not work because it was based on lies? Or will you forgive yourself for being human and living your life by learning difficult lessons? Freedom of choice is awaiting.

ANSWER: Most animals do not have souls but are animated by a spark of energy and unconditional love. This particular cat did have a soul. It is a member of your soul group and you two had agreed to play a part in each other’s lives during this incarnation. At the time the agreement was struck, your friend had not decided what type of life to have – never imagining choosing to try a life as a cat.

The cat filled a void in your life that was deepening at the time he adopted you. He forced you to look at life in a different, more positive way than you were going. He was someone with whom you could share things that you did not feel comfortable sharing with other humans. He become a confidant, best friend, and the only one who always seemed to know what you needed.

This was a very deep relationship because of the soul group connection and the agreement you two had made. Animals that do not have souls can also create very deep relationships when they are empathic to the emotions of their owners. Most other domesticated animals are merely companions and do not develop close associations with their owners. With non-soul-bearing animals, it has a lot to do with how the human sees the pet – is it a mere possession or a companion?

Animals frequently have an instinct about approaching death and can manage to stay around until they feel the time is right to depart. Your cat did want to say goodbye to the family and did not want to interfere with the festivities of the holiday. He decided to just “slip away” unobtrusively while everyone was remembering the good times they had over Thanksgiving with the various members of the family.

ANSWER: Your lover was honest with you from the beginning that he only wanted someone to share a physical relationship with and not become entangled in love, responsibility, and life-sharing. Your sexual partner is still in love with his ex-girlfriend. He is feeling betrayed by her, and now by you as well. He cannot see himself in a family situation with anyone but her.

From the beginning you hoped the relationship could be more than a romp in the hay. You have wanted a companion whom you could depend upon to be always there, and who would love you above all else. When your lover said that he could accept only the physical release that the sex act allowed him, and not an entanglement, you were not completely honest with him about your feelings. Your expectations from the start were for the two of you to become a couple.

It is a very human trait to believe that you are able to change another person’s mind. In sexual relationships you feel that being totally open and giving will make the other person reciprocate. Nothing is further from the truth. People can and will change only when they make up their mind that it is time for them to change.

Your now-former partner felt that his ex-girlfriend was too demanding and thought only of herself and her desires. Your proclamation of love for him made him feel as though you were wrapping chains around him, taking away his freedom and decision making. You will have to admit that part of your behavior was to entice and trick him into something more lasting than he had in mind.

Be honest with yourself in dealings with others and you will never have a situation like this again.

ANSWER: You wished to study the various aspects of jealousy in this lifetime. You also are dealing with a lack of self-confidence and self-worth, and with being able to stick up for yourself and voice your feelings. He is not going to change his wandering nature, so what bothers you is for you alone to deal with. He sees nothing wrong with his behavior.

To remedy your feelings, ask first exactly what it is that bothers you the most. You see everything he does as a judgment of your worth and his desire for you. The only opinion about yourself that is important is what you feel. If you are confident in who you are, his judgment means only that he has an opinion.

Whenever a person is more concerned about the opinions of others than they are about their own evaluation, they are saying to themselves, and the world, that other people’s thinking is more important than their own. You need to value yourself. Put aside what others say and think and appreciate who you are.

Tell your husband that his behavior is very disrespectful to you and you wish him to change. He will become defensive, which will tell you he is acknowledging that his actions are not as they should be. See if you can resolve this lack of respect, and if not, you will have to decide how much more you wish to endure.

You have the freedom of choice to stay or go – put up with being disrespected or call a halt and move on.

ANSWER: Telling someone to go and find themselves is an open invitation to engage in various experiences they have not previously had. Your life had reached a point of friendship and mutual comfort. It was not exactly exciting or challenging. You had started treating each other more like siblings or best friends than inseparable lovers.

Your husband needed to explore his options, both professionally and personally, and you encouraged him to do just that. He was exposed to all sorts of new stimuli, including of a sexual nature. Uncertain as to what you meant to each other after all your time together, he was enticed by something new and romantic. He felt sought after and valued in the way your relationship had begun so many years ago but currently lacked.

His short time as a desired love object taught him that there were much more important things in a relationship than sex. He discovered how much your attention meant to him and that your attraction remained, just without the neon signs someone different had blasted at him.

He did need the experience to understand how significant you are in his life. He also learned the importance of communicating when feeling something missing in the way of excitement. For you, it is a wakeup call in evaluating when things have become too comfortable and preventing them from becoming boring. Both of you have the ability to create what you each need to feel complete in this union.

As couples spend a lot of time together, they become lazy in providing what their partner needs to be fulfilled. Many couples grow apart until they are no longer the people who joined in the marriage ceremony. Both of you need to honor yourselves in this situation and determine what it is you see as necessary for your future.

ANSWER: To be very blunt with you, you are being toyed with and used. This man thinks that he is open and spiritual when in fact as long as he gets his way, and the world bows down to him, he easily can play the role. His ego and his belief systems of superiority, shaped by his parents, are dictating his actions.

He is absolutely fascinated with the degree of white light and spiritual energy that radiates from you. He sits and suckles from your energy as he did from the life force of his mother. He does not want anything to change. He does not want you to become an equal, such as a commitment would imply. His only defense to keep you off balance is his tongue. When pressed he goes on the offensive and blasts with everything he thinks can hurt you and throw you into inner reflection and doubt.

Because of this constant activity in your relationship you are now consistently second-guessing the actions you take and the thoughts you have. You have almost completely disregarded your intuition recently. He wants you listening only to him. He does not want the power inside you to question his motives. He has refrained from doing your repairs because he senses that is exactly what you want, and he won’t be compliant.

Go back to your strength of old. Return to honoring yourself. Pump up your power, and within this framework ask yourself to evaluate this relationship. Disregard the emotional connections and look only at the energetic ones. Then make your choice of staying or going.

ANSWER: As each soul goes through their experiences within a human body, they are ever evolving in understanding and awareness while they work through their chosen lessons. One of yours is to experience and learn to deal with various aspects of relationships and romantic love. Not all relationships, even between a male and a female, will develop into romantic love. As you say, this girlfriend is cherished as a best friend and not a potential mate.

She is not sure what the relationship is supposed to be, but believes in romantic fantasies of forever after. It is important that you create a communication that emphasizes your lack of investment in this pairing as a permanent one – that it has come to be viewed by you as a comforting, best-friend matchup.

Your loss of passion in the relationship stems from the fact that neither one of you was completely honest with the other about your desires and intentions when you began dating. Through the intervening period you have discovered that some of the initial impressions were far from what exists. You were each trying to get the union to match the expectations with which you entered into it.

Your experiences are not the result of childhood traumas but rather merely the lessons you chose. You do need to define exactly what you envision as a perfect relationship before you are going to be able to achieve one. You have freedom of choice to re-evaluate your current situation or move on to something else that you can spend more time and truthfulness developing.

The internal conflict you have results from your expectations conflicting with the facts of your situation. You create the reality you live in. Take some time and manipulate it to your standards and desires. Go into anything new with total openness and truthfulness. Don’t anticipate what you think your partner wishes to hear.

ANSWER:  In the duality of human life, there are differing ways to look at common actions based upon your perspective. If you are engaging in the battle of negative and positive choices, which freedom of choice allows, you are using society’s basic tool, which is ego. Ego is powered by judgment and everything is either right or wrong.

The spiritual approach to life steps away from judgment and spends its time evaluating if what you are observing is beneficial to your growth or not. There is no judgment and no ego.

Life’s journey is carried out by each soul individually. You cannot learn from depending on anyone else. All the choices must be your own, completed for understanding why you have come to Earth. You owe nothing to anyone but yourself.

As you have moved away from judgment during your awakening, you no longer accept the judgment society used to impose upon you, such as having a responsibility toward those related to you. This awareness is making you feel uncomfortable because the relatives are constantly reminding you of it since they benefit from having you fawn over them.

Part of your growth includes having confidence in your own feelings. You should never do something just because someone else demands it. You should always honor yourself by making your own decisions. The people are craving the strong energy you now give off in your enlightened state and are more eager to have you at their beck and call. The choice is yours.

ANSWER: You chose your father to be the center of a circular life. Everything has revolved around him pulling you in and not allowing you to go outside his influence without deciding to be dragged back in rather than letting go. Family has been a part of your identity which you have given controlling force over decision making.

Societal definitions of the relationship and obligations a son “owes” to his father have played a major role in your behavior. The parts you each chose are not typical. In the incidents where he has been massively helpful, he has been a teacher, a best friend, and a guide, not a father. He thrives on control and manipulation, which you have believed is a part of a father’s role. However, that is not normally the case – it is a part of his life lesson only.

When you talk about your emotions, you are actually referring to the emerging acceptance of your inner essence. It appears as an intuition about the choices you have if you don’t let the father-son relationship make you think you have no choice. The love/rage dichotomy is the positive/negative solution to a life lesson.

His reaction to your spiritual journey reflected his fear that you would cut the bonds of his influence in accepting your own path. Spirituality is all about oneself, why you are here, and what you have to learn. It is a solo endeavor, and another’s influence only prevents growth.

What you came to learn is when you are fulfilling your own freedom of choice vs. when you are giving it up to your father under the guise of responsibility. The journey is yours alone.

ANSWER: You have had a history of being the giver and letting others make all the decisions for you. Your ex sees you as easy to manipulate and does not expect you to stick up for yourself. He also is aware of the anxiety he generates by his actions and finds it to be fun.

Even though he is respected in his profession, he is a naïve, spoiled little boy when it comes to dealing with you and his daughter. You are correct that this is a series of interactions that have lasted many lifetimes. He is still fighting to “win” over you and the obligations that have been imposed on him. He is perfectly capable of fulfilling the Court’s dictates, but he would rather cause you angst. The Court is getting fed up with his antics and is about to come down on him with a threat of jail time if he doesn’t stop playing around.

Nothing is going to make him see the spiritual growth behind this battle. He sees everything through his ego. He has the possibility of seeing it as a life lesson, but that would remove his manipulation. He still perceives you as the one getting things for nothing and is jealous of the “ease” with which he feels you are able to accomplish things. He realizes he would not have made it through school and various residencies without your help, and that makes him resentful that he couldn’t do it alone.

Just keep bringing him back to his responsibility and some day he may step back and see what a jerk he has been – but don’t hold your breath.

ANSWER: What we are hearing is that you have this old pair of shoes that are so comfortable you don’t want to throw them out. You also hate going shopping and being exposed to the crowds who might judge your choices. The problem is that all the support is gone out of the shoes, and whenever you wear them you cause your feet to lean in ways other than they were designed for, and your feet, ankles, and legs consequently hurt from stretched muscles and tendons. It is time to examine the whole picture.

You built a turtle-like shell around yourself 7 years ago when you were so hurt. The first time you allowed your head to come out of the shell fully you met your current girlfriend. She felt your hurt and has a need to take in injured and hurting animals, so you became her project. Her love for you is based upon your incredible need to be loved because you have no love for yourself. This need arises from your loss of sense of self due to your past relationships. Become independent and she will want to move on to another project.

You will not be able to work in other than a dependent relationship until you heal yourself. To do this you have to examine your fears. Go into them and feel why they are with you. Accept that you are a fantastic soul having an Earthly trial. You are as good as everyone else. You must decide what it is that you want and then, knowing you deserve it, bring it to you with your intention. You must be truthful with yourself.

ANSWER: Your girlfriend is being absolutely true and faithful to you at this time. Do not force her away by the doubts that your fears place in front of you. You did come to her on a rebound of any sort. She and her former boyfriend thought they were in love but found their friendship was more platonic than romantic. They have the feelings of siblings and to deny her that friendship will alienate her. They have no romantic ideas for each other at all.

What is happening with you is a resurgence of fears from your youth. You frequently think that others are being unfaithful, conspiring against you, and making fun of you. All of these are indications of life lessons you chose for this lifetime, primarily self-worth issues.

To free yourself from these horrors it is imperative that you examine the picture you hold of yourself. Others can make you feel unworthy only if you allow them to by believing that what you are sensing is the truth. You are a magnificent soul that is as good as any other soul. Stop letting your insecurities see you as less than fantastic.

When you start doubting yourself ask what is at the root of the fear? What makes it so real to you? Do you believe it should have this effect upon you? If you do not accept its validity it cannot impact your thinking and therefore your life.

Take back your power. Allow only what you accept to be true to run your life. Tear apart anything that is negative to find out why it is around. If there is no basis for its existence then banish it from your life. If you find a connection between this negativity and something in your life, search until you resolve the negative aspect and free yourself of its effects.

ANSWER: You need to remove yourself from fear. He still controls you while you are afraid of him. Your healer is correct. When you let go of the fear, he has lost and all will fall into place.

You choose what energies you have around you at all times. If you elect to have negativity, such as fear, you will be subjected to negative thoughts. If, instead, you choose to have positive thoughts around you of the love of your children and friends, you will find a shift into the positive energies of happiness and freedom.

The negative thoughts that he can implant in you, because of his position and contacts, only empower him to increase the control he already has. Letting go and seeing yourself in charge of your life breaks the power he can exert upon you. When he sees that you no longer think he is in control, he will lose interest and want to settle this whole situation to finish it and get it out of his way.

He is a bully, and because of his position most people allow him to continue. You do not have to permit his behavior. If you don’t acknowledge it or fight back, he will find you to be boring and give up trying to intimidate you. Go into a peaceful energy and wait a little while until he moves on to something else.

ANSWER: Your husband suffers from a lack of self-confidence and worth. He feels he does not deserve you but can vicariously get satisfaction by being a voyeur watching you with someone else. This is a continuing problem from past and current lives.

In a past life he was disfigured and no woman would let him touch her. He set up a watching position where he could observe women being pleasured in a whorehouse he owned, and that was the only satisfaction he received. In this life, his subconscious imagines he is repugnant to you and therefore he envisions a replacement that would better suit you as a lover.

He will not be able to change unless he confronts these beliefs he has so ingrained within him. A good start would be revisiting his past life through hypnosis and realizing that he is not the person he was in that life. Exploring his problems with confidence issues and self-worth will also allow him to see his beliefs in a different light.

Do not think that he has any idea how severely his actions are affecting you. He would never consciously do anything to cause you discomfort, but he is unable to be comfortable in a normal relationship. He can understand all the implications of his wayward beliefs if you talk to him and help him get a realistic idea of his actions.

ANSWER: This man is using you because of your gentle, giving personality. You want so desperately to have a relationship that you do not see his lack of honesty and integrity. He does not know what the meaning of love is – he only knows how to take and get others to think he is fantastic. What you feel is interest, not love.

Being a Kung Fu Master means nothing if you see it only as a martial arts practice for making money and keeping other people in line. As a sensei, he feels people should obey all his requests without question. Inside, he fears others will recognize the lack of social skills that make him shy away from personal commitment. He is afraid of being vulnerable in front of others because he doesn’t think himself worthy. This is why he overreacts so strenuously in his business.

You intrigue him because you know who you are and are not afraid to let others see your triumphs but also your failings. He was abused physically and psychologically as a child. His response was to become strong enough not to have any fear of being physically bettered in the future. Psychologically, he distances himself from people so he can avoid being emotionally susceptible to harm.

He has blocked out his past and constructed a scenario where he has always been strong, feared, and untouchable. This intensifies his need to be alone, away from people who might see who he is.

He is working through the life lessons he set up for himself. He has become much more observant lately and is trying to understand how other people interact. Your purpose in his life is as an example of trusting and being totally open with someone. He is not ready yet to take this step. Have patience with him if you wish to remain in his life.

Nothing is right or wrong on your journey. You have total freedom to choose whether to stay in this situation or move on to another where you may meet someone who is ready to start a sharing relationship devoid of fear.

ANSWER: Your spiritual marriage was the meeting and sharing of experiences by two similar souls on separate pathways. You both needed to feel what sharing could be like after you left your spouses. You also clung to each other in a morose sympathy, licking your wounds and hiding from yourselves. He realized that he had to get back to taking responsibility for his children and providing a home for them, and that you were not yet ready to take care of others.

It would be nice if you could only think of yourself and not have to take care of others such as children, but that does not often happen on Earth. It is time for you to move on. Examine the situation in which you find yourself and decide what you must do. You were relying on him to make too many of the decisions you needed about your everyday life.

You like the idea of being someone’s wife because it implies you are a possession, protected, and told what to do. It removes responsibility from you and the possibility of making a choice that you later would not like. Without a spouse you are on your own with no one to blame for discomfort.

Your life is definitely all about attachments and the accompanying emotions. If you wish to find a balance in your life you must evaluate where you stand. Accept that you do not need to be attached to another human. You are a beautiful soul who has all the necessary knowledge to carry you through this life experience. It is time to take back your power of decision making and live in this moment.

Emotions are reactions to events around you. The majority of them are negative feelings since your life lessons come to you mostly in negative situations, because you are learning what you are (unconditional love) by experiencing what you are not (negativity). Learn from these emotional signals what you do not wish to repeat. Use your intention to bring positive patterns into your daily life. You do not need another to move forward; you are not ready—you need to trust yourself first. When you are in control of your experiences, you will be ready to share with a soul mate.

ANSWER: Every soul is on an individual journey with absolute freedom of choice to decide each step. All you can do to assist your friend is send him unconditionally loving energy to help him seek and find the answer to his dilemma. You must let him decide his own destiny.

He is a player who goes wherever he feels the best. He does not care too much about those around him unless they are making noise and agitating him. He is trying to figure out what he thinks about his daughter and what, if any part, he should have in her life. This is making his heart ache because he is balancing his desires against the needs of others. This is new for him.

One of the largest steps of spirituality is accepting responsibility for the acts that you instigate. He has had a habit of running away instead of taking care of his duties. His practice of spirituality is: “If it is good for me, I will follow it; if it doesn’t serve me, I will do what I please.” He is aware of all the terms of spirituality and can talk as if he is extremely spiritual, but he is not.

He is a very energetic person so you feel the good positive energy he can draw to himself when you are with him. This makes you feel good so you want to be with him. During the time you were, you did whatever you felt he wanted you to do instead of doing what you wanted. It is time to take back your power and realize what it is you need to continue to grow spiritually.

ANSWER: It is time to start examining what your life, your singular path, means to you. What do you think your marriage is about? Saying things are “karmic” means you don’t feel you have any freedom in how things play out, but no one is pulling your strings. You are making the decisions. Each soul has total freedom of choice in setting up its lifetime.

You like sameness, or at least predictability. That is why you can’t wait to get home when you are away. You already know how your wife is going to react to every occurrence. When you are set into a pattern, it is like a rut. You think you can move forward only as long as you stay in that rut. Nothing is further from the truth; you can climb out any time you choose.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this type of living. Just don’t blame someone or something outside of you (karma) for it—you are making the choice. Because you and your wife are polar opposites, you have the sense that you are seeing the world. What you are getting is just enough experience that you don’t clamor for more. You are stuck in the comfortable familiar.

Your children are seeing one way that life may be lived. Staying together and choosing not to make different decisions about your life is not doing them any favors. They are seeing that you may live a nice life without taking responsibility to explore the world beyond or outside of your pattern.

The question becomes: what do you want your life to be?

ANSWER: You have trouble interpreting what people are like and what they want from you because, from the start, you are so busy trying to please them. You desire to be loved and you think that if you do everything that the other person wants they will love you unconditionally. You have yet to feel any of this love because you can love, and be loved by another, only to the extent that you love yourself. And, simple fact, you do not feel you are good enough to deserve love until you have satisfied the other. You do not love yourself.

This “old friend” does seem to be similar to you and interpret things as you do because you share similar past experiences that now look very nice to you. It is easy to remember, of the past, exactly what you wish. You are right to be a little hysterical because you are being played by this man. You are a game in which he can indulge without commitment. He is telling you what he thinks you expect to her from someone who truly cares for you.

He is married and at this time does not have any intention of ending that union. His interest in you is as a conquest. He will devote as much time to you as he can, to get you to be his favorite toy, but when he tires, he will move on to yet another challenge.

His energy is very strong and could be seen getting closer to you. But other energy will be drawn to you if you except possibilities and bring to you the type of person who will be kind and non-threatening. Use your energy to manifest a connection with a soul mate who desires to be with you as much as you do with them. Don’t settle for someone who comes around only to satisfy their needs. Create your utopia.

ANSWER: The problem here is not with your partner but rather with you. You have a continual need for validation. He is very serious about the feelings he expresses to you concerning his enchantment and the fulfillment he feels from your partnership. However, when he is with other people he likes to socialize and not dedicate his entire time to you—he does that when you two are alone. He also does not talk constantly about you in work situations, while shopping, or exercising. He fully engages in whatever he is doing. This does not mean he has adopted a different attitude toward you.

When you do not see him “spending all his time” on extolling your virtues you get panicky and doubt what he says to you in private. Part of the reason for your fear is you have trust issues and need constant re-enforcement. Though you know your relationship is an agreed one, you are not convinced you are good enough to have him and, as in some situations in the past, you are waiting to be betrayed.

He does not have any security issues concerning his commitment to you. This is all about you and your security issues. It is time to take an inventory and admit to yourself what your feelings are about relationships and interaction with other people in general.

Your partnership has become comfortable for you, as it should. Don’t start enclosing yourself in it alone. Spend time each day interacting with other people and talking about things other than your partner. Some folks are getting tired of hearing nothing but what a great relationship you have. You repeat it constantly to reaffirm it to yourself. There is no need to do this. Delve into the fear that creates this need. Bring it to the surface and accept that these fears are from the past and you have changed. Love where you are now and move forward.

ANSWER: Your definition of your husband’s behavior does not support his and your thinking that he is into spirituality big time. Truly spiritual persons let go of their ego and never judge what occurs around them. Your husband is an egotistical, selfish person. He likes to be in control and have others do his bidding. You do not fall all over him, as his clients do; you also do not pay him, so he doesn’t care what he says to you or what you think.

Because he does have the ability to channel healing energy, he is treated by some as a god when he helps to facilitate their healing. He is convinced that he is the source of the healing, but nothing is further from the truth. He is not responsible for the change in his patients. All healing is a combination of the energy that he channels through from the universal Source and the intention of the recipient. If the receivers do not completely believe they will be healthy or brought back into balance, they will not be—regardless of what your husband does or intends.

You are his only problem because you will not let him control every aspect of your life. He dotes on his daughters because they love him without question, at least at this point in their lives.

Why do you feel you cannot get divorced? You have the freedom to choose your path. You will only be able to find peace when you take charge of your own life, when you honor the person you are. You alone can choose to stay or go. Either choice is correct for you if you are making the decision.

If you stay, you must stop accepting the psychological abuse he is heaping on you. Stop feeling guilty when he tells you it is all your fault. It is only a reflection he is seeing of his own imperfection, which he is trying to deny and for which he is trying to blame you. Consider the source of his tirade; say to yourself that you are a beautiful, fantastic person, and he is missing out by being so blind. Ignore his temper by imagining he is in a cage of his own creation and is venting to try to get out of it. Send his soul love so it may see the lesson in which it is floundering.

ANSWER: This is one of those questions to which we can only answer that you must exercise your freedom of choice. You entered this marriage when quite young and have thrived on the independence it gave you from your own upbringing. During this union you have reached out and experimented with life energies in the form of meditation and healing, learning more about yourself constantly. Your husband has only concerned himself with trying to please others in business. His identity is as a trusted employee. To others he does not have an individual identity such as you have developed.

Nothing is right or wrong, but have you not felt your energy being very low in his presence? He delights in your development. Your energy feels excellent to him and he sucks it like a lamb from a teat at every opportunity. He is not as old a soul as you and does not have your wisdom. The lessons he chose for this lifetime are mostly about ego. Your lessons are concerning self and cosmic awareness and helping others.

Unfortunately you will not be able to help him unless he wants to be helped. Your path is much higher than his and you would have to kneel down to assist him, if he chose to be assisted.

Your fear arises from the unknown. You went from your family to your husband’s home and know nothing else. Just as you have learned so much about yourself and your strengths, so would you be able to make your own way without either of these family domiciles. You need and deserve to have a soul who is of your same nature, one who wants to learn and grow in awareness and be able to share with you on a daily basis. There are souls like that out there.

ANSWER: This is not “karma” because it is not a punishment for something you have done. It is a part of your life lesson in honoring yourself, having self-confidence, and not allowing yourself to be manipulated. From the beginning of this relationship you have done whatever your husband requested, suggested, or demanded without ever speaking up because you thought that was necessary to get him to love you.

He has always been a selfish, egotistical, manipulative narcissist who was only ever concerned about his own sexual satisfaction. At no time did he ever consider that you were equal to him, and his very last thought was that the marriage should ever approach a sharing union. He has rarely been faithful to you.

You became infatuated early with him and the thought that he wanted little old you. You have struggled throughout your lifetime with thinking you are not worthy of anything else and that a wife should be obedient in the marriage. This is a life lesson that can be understood and put to rest with a little work.

You are a piece of Source energy, the same as he is. You are as magnificent, powerful, and deserving as Source. Allow yourself to accept that and demand that you be honored as the beautiful soul you are.

As you leave the marriage, visualize an ideal situation and bring a sharing, wonderful man into your life. In all coming relationships, always speak your own truth. Do not say or do something because you sense the other person wants you to perform in a way other than is comfortable to you. Be yourself, honor yourself, and you will find stability and happiness.

ANSWER: Every soul creates their own reality, but it goes only as far as the area over which they have control. When you created your expectations about love between you and another, that shaped all your thoughts and actions but had no effect upon your intended. Every soul has total freedom of choice concerning every aspect of their life. If they choose to spend time with someone, it is their choice and it will not be dictated because the other demands it.

A truly happy relationship exists only when both parties agree to share their innermost thoughts and emotions with each other. Communication is the binding force that creates a firm union. You have always made the decisions for both of you, assuming that since you want something, they must desire it as well. You have never discussed your mutual impressions of the day-to-day necessities of a lasting relationship.

As you have started an association, you have just assumed the man will know what you want even though you do not tell him what that is. This creates an immediate tension in the relationship and makes the man believe he is not an equal part of the pair. The intensity of your conclusions concerning where the two of you are in the relationship scares the daylights out of your partner. If, from the beginning, you discussed that you are looking for a “forever union,” things would not come as such a shock to him.

You are unaware of what a romantic love really is. You have a movie rendition of happily ever after, but not a human one where partners share the bad with the good. Ask yourself if you really love who you are.  Do you think it is proper to pick out a man and then decide, without his input, that he is to be your husband? Tone down your expectations and work on establishing a sharing-style love relationship with a man who desires the same. Only by talking it out can you see if you are both seeking the same direction.

ANSWER: Your husband is a scared little boy who craves attention and control but feels more comfortable when someone is dominating him because then he has no responsibility. This girlfriend brings all kinds of emotional baggage from their first encounter into their life. She has hypnotized your husband willingly to control him as a puppet for her own desires.

She will bleed him dry of emotional responses, and when he wants to re-assume control if he draws on his strength within, she will walk away as she did before. She may also seek someone who is weaker than your husband and who has more resources available. Your husband wants you available for the future because he knows this present situation will not last. Don’t play second fiddle. Be the concertmaster of your own life—there are many harmonious players out there.

This is a time for you to discover your own power and abilities. You have been over-shadowed by your husband in the business world and now you may shine. You can create something far bigger and better than what you had. Tap into the intuitive abilities right beneath the surface. Create a vision for success, send the plan out to the universe, and be ready to receive.

ANSWER: The human body contains both masculine and feminine energy in different amounts. These energies are affected and enhanced by the awareness the soul has of its pre-determined lessons. If a soul has planned on exploring romantic love, it will have many ways to do so. One may be by varying the percentage of masculine versus feminine energy within the human body regardless of the apparent outward appearance of the sex of that body.

What you have read are the beliefs of the authors, who report an explanation of what their studies have revealed within a certain set of individuals. That will be impacted by the environment of the subjects, their religious and societal beliefs, and familial teachings. In other words, the findings cannot be universally applied in all groups of people.

Human bodies are not always subject to characteristics generally found in a particular sexual energy. You have seen feminine men and masculine women. Yet each may be engaged in what society regards as a normal male/female relationship. And by your beliefs, who had to pursue whom?

There is more involved in creating relationships than the amount of one sexual energy versus the other. What traits does each have? Is the woman forthright and the man shy and retiring? Is the man controlling and the woman seeking to be controlled? There is no absolute playbook to the perfect relationship.

All souls just need to be themselves. How do they feel about the other person? Would they like to be approached or do the approaching? Go inside and use your intuition and feelings to decide the best way for you to establish a connection. You will find that it even varies depending on the characteristics of the other person.

ANSWER: You have been the dutiful little wife, hiding your eyes behind your apron while you took care of the house and your husband’s needs. You had many signs of the wanderings that are a part of your husband’s life, but you ignored them rather than face them. This situation presented itself at this time so that you could not hide from the truth.

The question becomes: what do you want to do about this betrayal? Your husband is a very weak person and needs constant “hand holding.” If he is at home, he gets it from you; if he is at work or out at a pub, he gets it from whoever is available. He is also lazy, so the connection has to be easy for him to obtain. He will not go out and chase someone; it is all a matter of convenience. If he is not near temptation and his needs are being met, he will be faithful to the situation until there is another opportunity.

The question then becomes: is this the type of position you wish to have in life—the caretaker for a weak individual? If you try leaving things as they are, you can learn a lot about yourself and what you are willing to put up with. Or you can create a more balanced environment for the children. They are aware of the problems their father has and do not like the way he treats you.

What you are to learn from this lesson is your own impression of yourself and your value within the world. Why should you let someone else push you around and disrespect you? You are just as good as he is, but he has been calling the shots. Honor yourself as a soul having a human experience and claim your right to have freedom of choice over the conditions you will tolerate. You must ask yourself what you feel like doing. The decision is yours, and yours alone. Do not listen to family and friends in this matter. Do what feels to you like what you want.

ANSWER: Children are extremely sensitive to the energies around them. They know how their parents are feeling about each other and how each is reacting to the actions of the other. Even as a baby she understands you are not happy. If the situation gets rougher as she ages, she may think your problems are brought on by her presence – which would be somewhat accurate in this case since you are staying in the negative marriage because of her.

It is true that your husband does not see that his behavior is causing distress. He is very egotistical and thinks you should change your expectations to fit with his actions. It is not that he could not change; he just won’t unless he changes his current way of looking at life. He is happy being a father as long as it does not interfere with what he wants to do.

When fetuses discuss their future before coming to Earth, they know the potential for difficulties they could face. Your daughter knew that entering your family could lead to a split within a short time after her arrival. Of course, she now has amnesia concerning that but did wish to see how she would handle this situation were it to occur.

Every soul has freedom of choice in directing their human life. Even with your daughter in the mix, you need to decide what the best outcome is for you. It will not be good for you to become more and more anxious and unhappy by imagining what is affecting your child and ignoring what is causing you to be miserable.

During the course of any human lifespan you come in contact with innumerable souls with whom you have previously made contracts. Some of these contracts are to last the entirety of your physicality and some are to allow you to learn lessons from the other soul, or more about yourself, and then to move on to a new vista.

With any individual with whom you have shared intimate relations there is a sense of appreciation and love that you wish to hang on to so that you might re-experience the moment. Your husband has been around for a tremendous amount of growth on your part and has precipitated, or played a part in, all of it.

This new associate has come into your life for you to see that you have not learned everything there is to know about yourself as a soul and to show you one way to go about learning more. With this knowledge you may now experiment with ways to understand yourself better—with your husband, with this new interest, or on your own.

You are going through the lesson of selfishness at the moment. You are allowing both men to think that they have your undivided attention while you dangle to and fro in front of them. It is time to step back and really see what you feel about this situation. What type of person do you wish to be at this time? Do you want to play on the emotions of both of these men? While it is true you will be able to learn a lot by continuing this behavior, what are you really seeking? Do you want to have the feeling when you step away from the drama that you have cheated these two men because you could not be truthful to them? Ask yourself if you are even being truthful to yourself. Isn’t it time to make decisions so that everyone can get on with their lives?

ANSWER: We hate to disappoint you, but there is no one life soul mate, partner, or any designated individual for you. You are being betrayed by your own expectations. Disappointment appears any time you have determined you want a particular outcome and it doesn’t materialize. When you plan out how you desire an event to be completed, you are trying to control the actions of any other people involved. You can never cause others to take an action to which they do not consent.

You doubt yourself so much that the message you are unconsciously sending out to others is one of confusion and indecision. The battle you are having between your heart and your mind is a good example of fighting yourself. Your mind is filled with thoughts and ideas that have been placed there by what you have been told and what you have read. It has nothing to do with your experience or your intuition; it comes from outside of yourself, from society.

Go with your heart, with the feelings of your inner self. Find a love of self within. Bring that love out and show the world you know what love is. When others feel the love you exude, they will want to be with you; that is how you will find a man to share your life. Remember, you can only love another to the degree you love yourself.

ANSWER: You live in an arena of society where most people follow the same behavioral patterns. Everyone determines their worth by the ego judgment established by the mainstream showing how each compares to those around them. To elevate oneself above the crowd, one must show that they are better, richer, or more intelligent than those around them. This is the way of the non-spiritual human in daily existence.

In a workplace, this ranking is generally accomplished through gossip and showing displeasure for fellow workers’ characteristics. The purpose of this is to demonstrate that the speaker is superior to those being put down.

In the place you find yourself at this time, you have moved away from the basic ego negativity and chosen to maintain yourself in positive, loving energy. Who you are is a choice. Nothing that you do or want is going to influence those who are ingrained in the negative energy.

Your only options are to join in or separate yourself from those who enjoy ego-driven existences. No matter where you go, unless it has a spiritual journey base, you will always find the same balance of society. Since people work their life lessons in negativity, you will see that is the predominant energy in almost all places.

Don’t let the attitudes of those people impact you. You do not need their approval to know whom and what you seek in life. Become an observer by evaluating whether the actions of others offer anything from which you can benefit. If not, ignore them completely and spend your time learning about what you still have to complete in this life.

ANSWER: Will he do it again? Yes. Is he serious about changing? No. In his own way he loves you and the children, but marriage is too restrictive for him. He wants to be able to go out and do whatever he feels like doing regardless of whom it hurts or previous promises he has made. He has convinced himself that he was deprived while he grew up, and now that he makes the decisions he is going to do as he wishes.

You are being used by your husband to provide a safe place he may return to when he is tired or things aren’t going the way he wants. Since you have given in to him twice before, he thinks you are weak and will always let him continue his wanderings. Nothing is right or wrong in life; they are all just lessons. Your lesson is to decide how you want to be treated.

The choice for the future is completely up to you alone. You have to decide what you are willing to put up with. Don’t be concerned about what other people say or do; this is your life. The children are aware of the tension in the house and are sometimes afraid of the arguing. How you allow yourself to be treated is giving them guidance for their own adult behavior. What message do you want to teach them?

This part of your life is about honoring yourself: accepting that you are just as important as your husband; knowing that you deserve to be loved and honored and not thought of as a last resort or a fall-back spouse who will always be there. Take the initiative to create a world that matters to you.

ANSWER:  Your girlfriend observed the care you had for your woman and was jealous that someone could dedicate so much of themselves to another who had such problems. She didn’t really know that much about you but created a myth about getting the same dedication from you toward her. Most of this was part of a dream world she created with just the two of you. She couldn’t tell you about her feelings because they mostly had her taking your woman’s place to have your undivided attention.

Once you were free and available there was no need for you to give such dedicated action to anyone. Once she saw that you would only provide a normal amount of time to a relationship she was disappointed. She doesn’t want a normal affair; she wants to be the center of your world—being given all your attention. Her idea of a relationship is being placed on a pedestal and worshipped without having to reciprocate. She is very secretive about her life.

She is not a soul mate of yours. You have never had any prior life experiences with her. She does not want to have a normal relationship because she does not want to have to give to anyone; she just wants to be on the receiving end. Any connection with her would be one-sided. She does not share.

This is a lesson for you: One, to learn that life must go on and that there are other women out there for you. And two, to be discerning of the women who would throw themselves at you. You don’t need to rebound from your woman into another coupling so soon. Right now you are desperately seeking someone to hold you and comfort you as you did so freely. Put the energy out to the universe to bring to you someone who wants a sharing relationship.

ANSWER: Your son-in-law is not depressed at this time but rather lazy and manipulative. He is quite anti-social unless the topic is him and how others can do his bidding. He has never really grown up and is playing the part of the spoiled rotten brat. It served him well to lose his job because now he can be provided for without having to do anything himself. He refuses to take responsibility for anything that he does, or did, such as father his various children.

He chooses not to interact with you, and stays clear, because he knows you will be able to figure out his game. You are also a parental figure which he loathes. He is afraid that you will disapprove of him just like his mother. Her death has provided a freedom for him and he is on vacation from everything she wanted him to become. He has closed himself in his room with all his favorite toys and says: “I’m not gonna do nothing!”

He abhors control of any kind and refuses to take instructions. His life right now is one of parasitically sponging off you and your daughter. Counseling might help him to understand why he feels the way he does about responsibilities but don’t hold your breath until he goes somewhere.

Just continue to support your daughter and grandchild and let him find his own way. Do not allow him to disrupt the house any further. Your daughter could benefit from talking to someone about the way she is being used so she may better understand.

ANSWER: Humans are always attracted and drawn to what they see as better than their current situation. Long-distance communication is very safe for both sides. You can say whatever you want the other person to hear and not have to be concerned about being found out if your words aren’t completely true.

You have created an “ideal” partner in this man because you have “seen” only what he wanted you to see, and you have “heard” only what you are seeking. Your husband is right in front of you and you can pick out all the things that annoy you, so this other man looks superior.

During the time that you have been establishing a friendship, you have talked only about the things in which you share an interest. Since your husband is not open to all the metaphysical things you crave, this man shines in comparison. Day-to-day life is totally different from a dream world created with partial facts.

This man appeared at this time for you to see and feel what spiritual unconditional love can be. This man spends his time in unconditional love when he is in, and teaching, meditation. He shares his knowledge with all equally. He sees in you a student who is yearning to experience higher vibrations.

You have spent lives together before, but, like this one, each was for the purpose of stimulating growth. Every soul creates its own reality and direction. Examine what you wish the rest of your life to be; look at the people in your life and see who helps with your plan and who does not.

A: You have each experienced the traumas of a lifetime in a few short years. Not only will this closeness last but it will expand.

Your step-daughter has self-worth issues, with a strong sense of abandonment powering them. Not only was she seeking to have her birth mother return, but    also she was afraid that if she developed a strong attachment to you, you, too, would leave her. When her birth mother still showed no interest in her during her recent contact, she realized that she had been the one who caused her perception of different treatment to develop. She was preventing a feeling of closeness with you and her siblings, making it impossible to console her.

She has learned these lessons of abandonment now and will not have to repeat them. The abandonment had nothing to do with who she was, as she had feared. She is ready to move on, to expand her sense of self not only within your nuclear family, but also within the family she is establishing.

Your lesson as well was to get a sense of who you were within a family because of your dysfunctional birth family. In experiencing the problems with your step-daughter you were able to see some additional problems that families can have, identify them, resolve them, and then let go of their energy.

When souls cling to a lesson or difficulty, they identify with it as their human identity. Something they feel defines who they are. It is very difficult to release the hold that comes with the lesson until you acknowledge that it no longer serves any purpose in your current life. When it is released, you start a new chapter of life wiser and with a clean slate to begin yet another adventure.

ANSWER: An “ideal mate” is different for everyone and every circumstance. You have used very specific expectations to define yours. Expectations are very limiting because they don’t take into consideration the wishes of anybody but yourself. Add another person and expectations are impossible to fulfill.

You have been desperate in the past to have a mate – so much so that you have jumped at the first offer to pair up with someone. This “lovely man” was great when not in his environment. He didn’t give you a good idea of what you would be facing if you moved in with him. His whole life is his family and mama is still calling all the shots. He would do very well in a commune or group-living situation.

This man does not know what monogamous love is about. He does not differentiate between love for his parents, his children, or his woman. One is just as important as the other. You convinced yourself, prior to moving in, that he would change his allegiance once you were there. As you admit, he did not.

This is all about honoring yourself and what you need to feel good about yourself. Don’t give import to anything but your own feelings in this matter. There are other men out there who would enter a sharing relationship with you if you defined what you wanted before you began. Be brutally honest with yourself and with them before you commit.

ANSWER: Congratulations on living your own life and not listening totally to the prejudices of others. You and your husband chose your diversity as the impediment for your life lessons. You made a contract before coming to Earth to make this so and to be there for each other.

Spirituality deals primarily with getting to understand who you are as a soul and stepping away from the societal norms, which are governed by the ego. The ego uses judgment to make all its decisions. People take a particular “side” about everything: it is good or bad, better than or less than, right or wrong. This forms the basis of their personality and the way they interact with others.

Spirituality steps away from judgment and uses evaluation instead. The only question becomes: Is that a place I think I can learn something, or is it something I wish to stay away from? Nothing is right or wrong in the spiritual sense; it is merely a lesson someone has chosen to learn. You then become a “witness” to the choices others have made about their opinions, without judging if they differ from your own.

Your journey is defining who you wish to be and accepting who you are. You let go of the way others think your life should be; that is their problem to deal with, not yours. Don’t worry about the insensitivity of your in-laws. Be yourself, be happy, live your life.

Your soul grows with each bit of wisdom it takes in. The fact that you can only live your own life and can never affect another’s unless they allow you to is a fantastic realization. Let go of trying to control or convert your husband’s family – they have to make their own decisions and learn to live with them. Decide to be unaffected by their tunnel vision. They can’t see the love you share with your beautiful mate because they are blinded by their rigid upbringing. Don’t let any of this tarnish your life and love.

ANSWER: You are correct in your assumption that betrayal is a chosen life lesson. You also choose to question all personal relationships you would have. Knowing your lesson it is easier to work through the energy of that lesson. Your problem is that, while you know the lesson, you have not accepted the energy of it and released the negativity side of the events.

Pursuant to your plan for this life, you set yourself up to be betrayed in relationships so that you might see that the underlying lesson was to have faith in your own abilities and to learn to love yourself in any situation in which you might find yourself. You see the betrayal, but on most levels, say okay I set myself up to be betrayed, let’s move on. Never once have you asked why was I betrayed? What part did my actions play in the betrayal? Why do I feel that I need to experience this? Until you start asking these questions and going into your feelings, life will remain the same cycle of betrayal, fear, and second guessing people.

Even in the relationship between you and your parents you haven’t looked at the way you feel about each. There is a little competition that you feel for your Father’s affection. He and your Mom are not a part of this, it all stems from your lack of self worth and confidence. You feel you must be able to “best” someone, even within your own family.

Start working on getting to the bottom of the dramas in your life and everything will suddenly look and feel different. You do have lessons to learn but you do not need to let them control your life.

ANSWER: You and your father have shared many lifetimes, always with intense lessons between you. Hatred is one of the most intense emotions possible. When you hold on to hatred, it colors every other dealing you have with that person.

What you feel about your father is so severe that it radiates out from you and can be felt, not only by him, but by anyone around you. When you asked him for money he felt your anger and thought, “He can’t even put his anger away long enough to come peacefully to ask for money; why should I help such an ungrateful, hate-filled person?”

Your father is a very negative person but one who is very energy perceptive. He is attuned to your energy and can feel when things are getting a little more positive for you, so he reaches out and takes your growing positive mood to feed on the positive energy. You have been letting him do this by entering into a control-drama scenario with him. Let him go; ignore his attempts to draw you in.

People can take your power from you only if you allow them to. If you continue to carry this hatred for your father, any contact from him will strip you of power because the hatred, being so negative, lets your energy flow to him. If you accept that he is someone from whom you cannot learn in this lifetime and therefore do not need, you will be able to release the hold he has on you and take that negative space and fill it with unconditional love.

Enlightenment is releasing negative lesson energy and choosing to replace it with positive thoughts. He is not learning his lesson about hatred, but that does not mean you have to continue letting yours influence your daily life. Choose to be happy, peaceful, and loving. You have the choice to cut off all contact with him unless or until he becomes a more positive person.

A: The first thing you must do is to stop fixating on what you don’t want and start visualizing what you do want. Your thoughts have the power of manifestation. If you keep saying you are going to be just like your parents you will fulfill that prophecy and will become just like your parents.

Instead of being negative you need to define for yourself what financial independence and having abundance means to you. Then, being realistic in terms of your age and experience, see how you can begin reaching those goals.

What are you qualified to do? Start there and move forward. At your age very few people know exactly what will satisfy all their needs, and remember, your needs will change. You have had a number of prior experiences, each one preparing you for the future. You have already drawn to yourself the things you needed to experience so the past has laid a foundation for the future. It may not be readily apparent now but it will be.

Part of your upbringing has been steeped in draining all the confidence and self-worth out of you, making you question everything. Realize that you are a part of Source and as such are as magnificent as everyone else and endowed with the ability to create your future reality.

Honor the power within and go where your feelings direct you.

ANSWER: All souls who inhabit humans when they are born are pieces of Source energy and therefore a part of the universe. There is no difference between the essence of one and that of another. All have guides and angels helping them on their journeys, when requested, and not one is forced to do anything they had not previously considered and chosen.

The experience of a Caesarean section delivery is more the choice of the mother rather than the baby. The mother faces all kinds of mental and emotional issues surrounding the inability to have a vaginal (natural) delivery, which fulfill the requirements of the mother’s life lessons. Unless the child is in distress, the soul just observes what is occurring.

Contracts concerning life issues are made before birth, when the soul is still in the unconditional love of the universe. There is absolutely no negative energy present in that environment, so it is impossible for a soul to make a contract with a negative force that cannot exist outside of the Earth duality. Since there is no “dark side” at Home, and the child does not choose the Caesarean for the mother, what you have been told is not correct.

Souls may choose to come in order to experience evil as a life lesson. Their job then is to see the negativity and choose to exchange it for positive love energy. All life lessons start in negativity, so it may be said that children begin in an energy of evil, but that has nothing to do with how they enter into the world – whether through the birth canal or surgical intervention.

A: You are not this man’s biological child. He is punishing you for the indiscretion of your mother. Your mother never told you because your biological father has a family and would not be able to acknowledge you. She has been living in a “Hell” created by the guilt she feels and the unfairness she has watched you having to endure.

The man you have known as your father truly does not hate you. You represent to him a time where he was not in control and therefore, he figures, less of a man. If you feel comfortable with it, you need to let him know that you are aware of the facts and wish to forgive him for the way he has treated you. If it feels right to you, also tell him that you have always considered him your father even in light of the way he has treated you.

Your mother also needs to be told that you know about your father. If you have it in your heart, also forgive her for her lack of courage to tell you before this time. She desperately respects everything that you have done in your life and has been unable to make a big deal out of it because of her husband. She does love him and your two brothers – who, by the way, idolize you.

This may seem like a lot for an 18-year-old to deal with but you are very mature for your age and need to clean up this familial energy before you go off to school. You have an opportunity to bring the ghosts out of the closet and have everyone stop hiding behind guilt, anger, and revenge. Confronting your parents with your knowledge will clear the air and establish a new type of relationship among the three of you. This will make it easier for you to study without questions of relationships taking precedence over new subjects.

ANSWER: You know most of what we are going to say – you have no indelible obligations to those for whom you have taken responsibility. This is a position which you have chosen but that does not mean you cannot find other ways for them to be taken care of. You assume you are the only one who knows the right way to proceed and the only one who cares. Most others have gone into the background because they don’t have to do anything since you are taking care of everything.

You have given those around you power over your decision making and day to day life. You may remain in this fashion or you can gradually start to shift to a place of honoring yourself and retrieving some, or all, of your power. This is a life lesson for you one of determining if you respect your needs or if you are just a giver.

A number of your family are in “victim mode” they desire to have someone else take care of them so they don’t move to take any responsibility themselves. To some degree you are facilitating the neediness within them by always being there and holding them up. They call you instead of trying to solve things on their own. The longer they remain in this framework the weaker and more dependent they become.

This is your life and you make all the decisions. You have to decide when you are being taken advantage of and what you wish to do about it. You have pictured yourself as the donkey carrying the load and have to change that picture in your mind before anything else will change. You are beginning to chaff under the load. The choices forward are up to you. Nothing is right or wrong in this life – it is merely the lessons you learn and how that learning takes place.

ANSWER: You are living a fantasy life that is very safe and can be entered when you want but is not intrusive into your everyday existence. You have fashioned the participants exactly as you would like them to be. Your imaginary partner has only the best of qualities that you can envision, and you are free to do what you desire without having to deal with the mundane things of life such as food, exercise, and marital disagreements.

You are writing a scene that is not challenging or threatening. You have an incredible need to feel loved, so in your mind you exist in a world of unconditional love. You have always thought that the ultimate love is that between mother and child and that is why children figure so prominently in your stories. But in your dreams there are no painful deliveries, sleepless nights, dirty diapers, or crying children – just love.

You have focused on this man because of his physical attributes without knowing anything about who he really is except for the personality you have created. You are compatible because you make it so. It is interesting that you say this man is the father of your children but never talk about a relationship between the two of you.

It is time to make some decisions. Do you want something physical or just something like you had as a child with dolls and dollhouses? You could bring a mate into your reality but not while you fear it will not be as you have dreamed. It is necessary that you work at a union where you make decisions together and share in the life choices.

If you wish the fulfillment of an actual family, you have to bring your dreams into the physical. Start your search by defining what it is you see as a satisfactory relationship. Decide what you want in a husband. Begin talking to others about what would be ideal conditions for a family. Then it is time to go out and start looking for that perfect mate.

ANSWER: The magic in maintaining and containing relationships is communication. To have that perfect sharing relationship, it is imperative that your husband be aware of all of your feelings, both between you and him, and between you and the other members of his family. Let him know how they impinge on your life and that they take your energy when they are near so that you are exhausted.

Your husband is not your twin flame; if he were, the only thing either of you would see in this world is each other. You would not feel the need to interact with anyone else. His focus would be on you alone, and he would not have any contact with his family.

His family is jealous of the connection the two of you share. You are content, happy, and positive most of the time, which intrigues them because they tend to be negative, unhappy, and angry. He has grown up with their energy around him and has built up a barrier to its affecting him. Unless you explain to him the impact their actions have upon you, he will not recognize the problem.

You must accept that he is on his own journey, and dealing with his family is part of that trip. That does not mean that you have an obligation to spend any more time with them than is comfortable for you. Another possibility is for you to surround yourself with positive energy every time you have contact with them so they are not able to steal your energy. Whenever they try to control your life, thank them for their interest and tell them you have considered their input and it doesn’t feel suitable to you.

ANSWER: You are allowing yourself to be manipulated, controlled, badgered, and intimidated. You owe this woman, who just happens to be called your mother, nothing. Think back over your lifetime during all the circumstances when she could have been beneficial to you and chose not to help because it was inconvenient for her. Looking at your life, why do you feel guilty? You have never done anything to generate those feelings.

Age does not bestow the privilege to dictate to others. Granted, she is lonely right now, but mostly that is of her own doing. She has not ingratiated herself with others with whom she could share her time. She figures she has you at her beck and call, so why should she seek out anyone else?

Do not let her control your life. Your purpose in life is to provide for your family and grow them into caring, loving individuals. Seeing you catering to an ungrateful mother is not setting a very good example for them.

Your husband’s desire to move is based on the future of his family. While he understands your mother’s desire to be the center of your universe, she should not be, and it frustrates him that you give in so easily. This is a lesson for you in discerning the importance of each aspect of your life. You are not honoring or loving yourself. You have freedom of choice. Don’t let others make your choices for you.

This is not “karmic” as you call it because that would imply that it is a punishment. This is a lesson in self-worth and understanding character issues such as guilt, obligation, allowing others to control, and being true to your own path in life.

ANSWER: Sometimes yes, and sometimes no. When a soul gets ready to incarnate, it has decided what life lessons it is going to work on in that life. The selection of parents has to do with ensuring that the desired and needed environment will be provided. The chosen lessons of the parents may be in line with the child’s or may have nothing whatsoever to do with the child’s intentions.

A contract would not be needed if the child wants to experience the breakup of a marriage. That would entail a contract between the parents but not with the child. If the child wants to have physical, mental, or emotional abuse, that may – but does not have to – require a contract.

A contract would not be required if the child just needs to be in an environment that allows them to observe addictions, mental illness, poverty, or such. Most situations in which the child is born with deformities or disabilities do involve a contractual agreement.

The whole purpose of life lessons is for the soul to understand them and, using their freedom of choice, choose to reverse the effects of the situation. A contract rarely, if ever, includes the learning and understanding of another’s chosen lessons. Each soul, whether parent or child, is on their own in working through their difficulties.

ANSWER: It is very unfortunate that a mother cannot help her children, in the same way she could when they were infants, as they start making their own choices. Souls all over the world are turning to drugs for a number of reasons, mostly having to do with running away from everyday life.

Your son found life to be painful when he was placed in a position of responsibility. In a mood of rebellion he also sought new experiences which he knew would not be sanctioned by his family or others. Under the influence of drugs his inhibitions dissolved and he allowed himself to venture wherever things looked soothing or adventurous.

Another aspect of drug intoxication is being able to reach into your subconscious mind. This permits access to your higher self containing information of your deepest anxieties created by your life lessons. Drug euphoria also opens the doorway to communication with non-physical beings—what usually gets diagnosed as schizophrenia or psychosis. The subject cannot tell what is physically real and what is not.

You correctly deduced that the protective auric field is disturbed; that, plus an invitation to anything that wants to come in, creates a platform for attachments. Once the person is virtually incapacitated via medication, these attachments generally detach and look for someplace more active.

Your Reiki will never interfere with a soul’s journey. The universal life force energy is intelligent and goes where it is needed. In this case it is reinforcing your son’s reasons for his behavior and helping him to break through his understanding of his actions. He isn’t completely ready yet, but it will be very helpful when he is ready.

A: You must evaluate what is best for you. Your mother has lived a full life and for the last several years has remained in body just because she has been living off your energy. Your dedication is very commendable in the eyes of society but is detrimental to your soul’s search for knowledge.

You mention that after hospitalization or nursing home stays in the past, when she has shamed you into taking her home, she recovers. Have you also tracked the state of your health after each one of these recoveries? If you look back you will see that each time she recovers, you decline. Why? Because she takes your energy to rebuild herself and you are then subject to all sorts of ailments.

Each body has a finite amount of energy unless you are consciously replenishing it from the universe. When other people steal some of your energy for their own use, whether to make them feel better or to repair damage to their own body, it makes you vulnerable to imbalance and disease.

Your pre-planned life lessons included learning to stick up for yourself, deciding if the needs of others were more important than your own, being controlled by the whims of others, and learning to love yourself enough to honor yourself by doing what will help you grow. The situation you outline here shows all of these lessons coming at you at one time.

All the answers lie within your freedom of choice. Is it time to take back your energy from one who has no use for it other than depleting you? Is it time to let your mother, who has completed her mission here, move on and return Home? Only you can make these decisions. Remember, nothing is right or wrong.

ANSWER: Your sister is living the life of the privileged. All those who have for years bailed her out of any difficulties and allowed her to depend on them for everything have facilitated her in becoming the person she is today. She doesn’t see that she needs to be responsible for anything because it will just “appear” when she needs it.

She and her lazy boyfriend will never do anything unless they are forced into it. She has even told the park personnel that her family will take care of the rent so that they will not bother her. If all the Social Security money were used for necessities, your sister would be able to get by – but she and the boyfriend are using it for their pleasure.

Nothing is right or wrong in the way you treat this situation, but your sister will not change unless she is forced to assume responsibility for herself. The only victim here is her daughter. It may be necessary to get the court system involved to protect your niece. If she is placed in a group home, your sister will no longer be able to depend on her Social Security and will become aware that it is time to find a way to support herself.

Without the money coming in, the boyfriend will leave. This may seem drastic to you, since you have always been there, but that is what has allowed this pattern to perpetuate. Your whole family must agree to force your sister into self-reliance.  The choice is yours.

ANSWER: You are in a problematic position between conflicting life lessons chosen by your son and his current wife and your grandchildren. Your son is still mourning his children’s mother and has difficulties supporting them against his new wife, who fears he loves them more than he does her. He needs this woman because he would be totally lost in trying to raise the children without her.

The step-mother has a very caustic tongue and causes more psychological damage than physical to the children. The children are also still mourning their mother, who was very caring and nurturing to them. They didn’t have to make any of their own decisions. She always stepped in and took responsibility for their problems. They are now in the position of having to consider the consequences of their actions. They are looking for someone to come in and make them carefree again.

Their lesson is one of going from being babied into a swift transition into adulthood and independence. They are crying out for someone to rescue them so they don’t have to assume this responsibility now. If you jump into the middle of this, you could very well split the whole family apart. It is a matter of freedom of choice. Remember, each soul chooses the situations it wants to experience here on Earth.

In the children’s desire to have their nurturing life return, they are looking in all directions. They have some experience in manipulation and are reaching out with it to make the entire situation look much worse than it actually is. Monitor what goes on and how conditions change before you step into the middle of this learning experience.

ANSWER: You see your children as possessions and are jealous of the close personal relationship that exists between your youngest and your husband. You have a fear that your son can only love one of you, and you have to insinuate yourself between husband and son to feel safe. Your son loves both of you, but you are beginning to worry him with your possessiveness.

You do not accept or love yourself and can love another only to the degree you feel love for yourself. Acceptance is what will provide any attachment or sense of belonging in a family. You see only yourself and do not see or feel the needs of any of the other members of your family.

It is not wrong to be unable to attach to or attract other people, but it limits the life lessons you can learn. Lack of interaction puts you on the outside of any situation, merely observing and not able to take part. It is possible to see how others are learning their lessons, but you have no actual experience.

One of your life lessons was to be able to see that you “stood apart” from the rest of the world and to decide what, if anything, you wished to do about it. You can spend this entire existence as an observer, or you can choose to open to others and start interacting with them.

You have a barrier around yourself that prevents you from feeling anyone else. As long as this remains, your sensitivity is shielded from the energy around you and others. To open or remove this blockage, you must want to remove it. You must reach out and touch the energy that exists. You will be able to feel both the positive, loving energy and the negative, disruptive energy. Feeling this, you can choose that which you want to have in your life and push away what you don’t desire. This will allow you to attach to those from whom you feel love.

ANSWER: A sense of responsibility for others affects various people in different ways. Your in-laws care only for themselves. Day-to-day customs, hygiene, and socialization are personal matters, and it is difficult to convince any adults that they are not measuring up to societal standards. They simply don’t care what other people think about them.

When someone is forced into assuming responsibility for a relative’s care, which is normally provided by another, many factors come into play. How do people feel about this duty? Does it weigh heavily on them because they don’t see why they should have to do it and feel “put upon” by the situation?

Performing a service you do not feel is your responsibility does more to you than make you physically tired. It can impact you mentally and emotionally as well. An internal struggle brought on by re-living the reasons that place you in a situation you did not choose takes a lot of energy. If, in addition to fighting what you are doing, you see it is preventing you from carrying on in your life the way you feel you need to in order to obtain success, your whole life becomes a misery.

Your husband is doing all this work, being prevented from doing what he feels he needs to do for his future, and inside he is fuming at his father for forcing him into this situation. This is not the first time he has had to do something he didn’t want to because of his father’s actions, and each time his resentment and anger get stronger and stronger. This is emotionally tiring him out and bleeding off his initiative to better himself. He needs to realize where his feelings are going, and decide what he wants to do about the gathering negativity. Acknowledging that it is there is the first step to handling it.

ANSWER: The events surrounding reincarnation have recently caught the interest of the world mostly due to the effect of media coverage and shows on television. People who would never have talked about what happens to souls after they leave the shell of the persona of their loved one, are now spending time and money to talk to the soul and follow its progress into other activities. A lot of wishful thinking is powering this surge.

Souls enter into a physical body in order to learn lessons and enrich their knowledge of life. This is easily accomplished by the ability to use any body form available to them. They generally do not like to repeat something they have already learned, so they will move into other environments to vary their knowledge base. Every soul who has chosen to come to Earth a number of times has been male and female, white, black, oriental, and indigenous natives, choosing to live on a number of different continents experiencing myriad families and occupations.

In their energetic form souls have the ability to visit wherever they desire. If the person they visit is sensitive to energy, it may seem as if the soul is there in physical form. Your aunts were interested in how siblings in their former family interact. They did not choose to do the interaction themselves. Your sisters are not the reincarnations of your aunts. Neither of their souls has chosen to come back into human form yet. They do spend a good amount of time around your family so the sense of their presence comes from that and not reincarnation.

Your sisters want you to share in what they think is fun and a show of family unity, so they chose your grandmother to be your origin. You are not the reincarnation of your grandmother. She is actually a five-year-old boy in a rural Arkansas family. Her early passing from this life arose because she planned, in that last life, to be the cause of a sense of abandonment for those close to her at the time of her transition. There was a lot of emotional volatility in the family, and her leaving stirred the pot to help a realization of personal lessons for the others.

ANSWER: Souls have no obligation to intercede in anyone else’s life. Your father owes you nothing. What he has slaved to receive is the fulfillment of the labors of his own work. What he does with his rewards is no one’s business but his. Once you and your siblings reached adulthood, he didn’t even have a societal mandate to continue providing for you. The fact that he did is an indication of his giving nature.

He has observed that his children have not used their resources to provide adequately for themselves, but he also does not want any possible initiative to be replaced by his continuing to bail you out and hold you up instead of forcing you to seek ways to take care of your own needs. He did not have anyone supporting him, and he thinks all of you can reach the pinnacle to which he has ascended if you put in the effort.

When people get things too easily, they don’t search out means to procure on their own. As you have said, you are ready to create and experience your own abundance and security – what has taken you so long to determine the necessity? Did you think that if you had done this before, he would stop with the handouts? A handout always means less work.

What has made it slow going in your journey to security is your attitude about your father’s money and the relationship with his wife. You are jealous of the fact that he chooses to provide for his wife instead of his children. That is his choice. All souls have freedom of choice. She has been able to provide emotional and physical support of which only a spouse is capable.

Once your father returns Home, what happens to the money will first be determined by his wishes as substantiated in a written will. All states honor the position of the mate, if one exists, over that of the children.

The lesson for you is not to depend on handouts. Chart your own journey and create it as your needs dictate. Understanding that your father has no obligation to gift you with anything more, let your anger and anticipation go. If your stepmother receives what is left of his estate, that is your father’s wish or he would have made other arrangements. Accept his decision.

ANSWER: You are acting the part of the loving overprotective mother. It is very normal in society to want to protect your offspring from any danger coming from without and from within. Children never learn to take responsibility for their actions unless they are given the opportunity, so some decision-making is important. Your children are well grounded in preservation energy; they are not careless.

What we would caution you about is giving them the sense that they have something to fear regardless of their preparation for life. When you fixate on a scenario, the universe says, “Oh, interested in that? Let’s see what we can do to make sure you experience it.” You can call fears into physical being. When a child becomes aware of a parent’s fear, it becomes more real to them and they start to fear it as well and give it even more energy so it just has to appear.

There are many potential dangers in your world: traffic, wild animals, unstable earth, crazy humans—all can be held at bay if you say, and really believe the truth of your statement, “I do not need to experience this!” You don’t have to practice at first on your curvy road. You can give the kids wheel time in parking lots, school yards, city streets, and open highways; then you move up to your road.

The important thing is what they think. Do they feel somewhat deprived because they don’t have a license like their friends? Are they ashamed or embarrassed that their parents have to take them places? Or are they in no hurry to get behind the wheel? Let them make up their own minds. If after college is fine with them, then wait. But don’t let your fears arouse their fears.

A: In many past lives you were in positions of authority—a policeman, a prison guard, a conductor on a train. In each one of these cases you had the position, but you had no real power to enforce the rules and regulations that you were expected to ensure were followed.   

These situations created extremely frustrating times for you. Frequently you would be punished or reprimanded if those you were supposed to direct didn’t do as you requested. The more frustrated you got, the more belligerent became your subjects—and the more you were punished.

You see each situation in this life as a recurring test of your being able to do your job. Having not learned in any of these lifetimes that it is impossible to make anyone do anything they do not want to do, you keep trying to be in control. It is time to accept that control is merely an illusion. You must accept that each soul is on its own pathway, having its own lessons to learn.

Relinquish the need to maintain responsibility for others. Accept responsibility for your own lessons, learn them, and then move on.

ANSWER: You are selling short the whole human experience you are having. One of the reasons that souls choose to come to Earth is to have a body so they may enjoy the sensations that only the body can provide. The variety of activities is part of your choices. You will not learn anything or truly experience this humanness if you remain “equal” or “bland” during your life.

This thought that you must remain equal in all things comes historically from the monks and mystics who shunned human contact as an interference with total exploration of their essence, which they felt could occur only in silence. Let’s explore the modern day.

At Home two souls may share and embrace in the energetic unconditional love which is their essence, but they cannot enjoy the physical interaction that is reserved for physical bodies. Some souls even take a life in order to incarnate for the rest and relaxation of a touchy-feely existence, and to experiment with all forms of physical love. To not avail yourself of this unique human trait while working on your other life lessons is to deny one of the benefits of being human.

But to exhibit this very human trait does not necessarily mean that you are attached to anything. Attachment is a state in which the soul surrenders control of itself to another, giving up its freedom of choice. It is possible to enjoy exchanges with and long to be with another person, without being attached.

To test if you are attached ask: “Can I function without him?” “Will thinking of him prevent me from following the lessons I am learning?” “Am I able to think of him and the pleasure his companionship brings without losing myself in my memories?” If your answers are “yes” you are not attached. Sadness may simply arise from a wish to enjoy something you know you would enjoy if it were available at that moment.

ANSWER: You have always made your decisions about life based upon the needs of others. It is time to take into consideration what feels best for you. Your son is old enough now to take responsibility for himself and his decisions. He and his father have too many obstacles between them right now. Your husband blames your son for his unhappy life since he was forced to come to this town because you chose to come here for your son.

You have given so much attention to that son that he is now jealous of the relationship between you and your husband, his father. They will both have to have time apart to consider that the various decisions you were forced to make weren’t to choose one of them over the other, but to help the whole family.

It is choice time for you and your future. Your husband loves you tremendously but feels he has been overlooked in your desire to help your son. If you are to rescue this relationship you must give it time without the stress of your eldest and his problems. You will not be deserting your son but giving him space to build his own life. You will be re-creating a family with the rest – your husband and the other children. You will be helping them as well to establish a stronger connection to their father.

Any choice you make will be in alignment with your spiritual path, which is to learn from the situations in which you find yourself involved. The purpose of life is to discover your inner strengths and the abilities you possess and then use those first to help yourself, and then to assist others if you wish. You have chosen others first and now it is time to find your feelings and satisfy them.

ANSWER: When you were a child you shared interests with school chums. As you grew older some of them turned to science, some music, some business, and some raising a family. Were you to meet up with them at this time, you would find very few shared interests and little to talk about.

You and your husband have each had different contacts and experiences during the last 40 years. Each experience has changed your initial common connection and driven you in separate directions away from a shared interest. As you have stated, your current primary considerations couldn’t be further apart from each other. This is the way of souls having human experiences.

No two souls follow the same path. The journey is a solo affair for every soul who exercises freedom of choice to learn the lessons chosen before incarnating. Even though you joined together for part of the journey, self-interests have steered you away from each other.

No one can force another individual to come to their way of thinking unless that person is willing. Your choice now is to try to maintain a partnership where you both have the same destination or to honor yourself and go your own way. This is not being disrespectful unless you try to force-feed each other the principles you have adopted.

He is not going to come into spirituality, so you have to decide to remain and move forward or go back and join his beliefs. You can live harmoniously as long as you only talk about your daughters and household affairs.

A: You are witnessing your daughter growing up. In the past you have taken all of her problems and made them go away. She never had to deal with the consequences of her actions. You told her that everything would be all right and to forget about the problems, that they couldn’t hurt her.

Your daughter never received a sense of limits—what she could accomplish and what was not a strength. You fought even the tiny battles of childhood, the traumas of adolescents, and if given the chance you would insulate her from the big bad world of adulthood. You thought that was the duty of parenthood.

She is taking control of her life and examining her possibilities. Since she hasn’t had much experience, it is not an easy thing for her and she has to go within to see how she feels about things. All she is used to hearing is your voice giving her counsel, and see needs the quiet to hear her own inner voice. It may appear to be a depression but it is only contemplation. She is taking the first baby steps of assuming self responsibility.

You both will get through this. You will have your daughter back, but the grounds rules will be different: she will be making her own evaluation of  situations.

A: Masters, all my life I have had a fear of men. This has prevented me from establishing any meaningful relationships. Whenever I start to get close to someone, I get this feeling that they are trying to kill me. I don’t trust anyone, particularly men. Lately every time this has happened I have seen the face of my father on the person. What is happening to me?

ANSWER: We are glad that you have reached out and felt us in your life. Your sister to some extent feels us as well, which is why she prays so much. Unfortunately, her prayers are for assistance that will take all the decision making away from her. All her problems revolve around a situation where she does not desire, or feels she is incapable of, taking responsibility for herself. In the past, family and friends have been more than happy to give her advice and she has lived her life by this, which has allowed her to rationalize that if things go wrong it is because so-and-so told her to do such-and-such.

At the present time she resides in an aura of “poor me” energy. She is a very powerful soul and is creating this state herself. When she fixates on negative thoughts and bad things happening to her, she is bringing that exact energy into her life. Until your sister discovers her worthiness as a person, she will continue to create a victim scenario.

You imply that if she has true love in her life all will be well. That is exactly right; however, in this case, the true love for her is self-love. Until she can love herself, respect herself, and trust her own decisions about life, there will be no place for true love. This is not just in the romantic aspects of her life but also at work and in personal relationships as well.

What you can do for her is to continue sending her healing energy. Possibly introduce her to some writings on self-awareness, and the power of creating your own reality. This is her journey and she is directing her own life. As you help her recognize her own strength, you will see her evolve into a powerful individual. You must remember that she must start taking responsibility for her own decisions for growth to occur, and this can happen only when she is ready.

ANSWER: Your family is allowing itself to be held hostage over past events. It is time for each member to evaluate what is being learned from these actions. It will cease for each person when he or she takes back power from the captor. This is happening as a family because of the misconception that no one has the ability to stop this. Just say NO!

No person can cause another to do something unless that person agrees to do it. When you let others make your decisions for you, you give them your power. If you believe that all souls are the same (which they truly are) no one soul has the right to take the energy of another. Honor yourself and take back your power.

Instruct your family that they are living in the present, not reliving the past. The present needs to be seen as a different set of circumstances. Each of you is saying, in effect, “Even though this is not the past, the events of the past shall dictate how I am going to allow my life to be run right now.” That is fine if you want it to be that way, but you have no obligation to repeat the past. Make a new today.

Nothing is right or wrong; it is all happening for someone to have an agreed lesson. You do not have to be a part of that experience. Exercise your freedom of choice.

ANSWER: Your stepson chose a very difficult lifetime. He has never taken any responsibility for anything he has done. He has been bailed out by his loving parents and has taken full advantage. You agreed before coming here to share this life with him. For you and your husband it is to recognize that at some point you must leave him to his own devices and honor yourselves and your journeys.

You are not responsible for your stepson and his problems. He is not in a position to work on himself because he feels he does not have to; someone will always come to his rescue. It is time for “tough love.” Put him out – find a halfway-type house for druggies or those with mental problems and let him learn that he needs to take responsibility for himself and get the help he has refused. He is not beyond hope, but he has to make the choice to ask for help. As long as he has you running interference for him he will never change.

All souls come to Earth to see if they can learn to make choices for their own growth and understanding. As long as they are not put into the position of having to make those choices, they will take the easy way out of relying on others. Stepping away from your stepson at this time does not mean you don’t love him. It shows you love him so much you want to force him to be in a position to get help.

He is an extremely negative person and does have other negative entities around him. None has entered his body, but they will remain close to him as long as he stays so negative. In this condition he is potentially dangerous to you and your husband because he thinks you will do whatever he wants you to do as long as you allow him to remain in the house, and if you refuse he will try to force you.

This is not karma because karma, as understood by Eastern philosophies, is punishment for bad things done in the past. Karma does not exist after you leave the negativity of planet Earth. This is just an example of life lessons jointly agreed upon.

ANSWER: You have both planned to have this “awakening” occur at this time in your lives as part of your life lessons. She is from the same soul group and you have shared lives before but she is not your twin flame. Your purpose in each other’s life is to set up a situation which will force you to make choices based upon discovering things about yourself and what is important to learn and understand in this life.

There are lessons named clarity, discernment, self-worth, and self-love. Learning is a singular experience. Certain souls come into your life to set up situations for you to see what it is you have been avoiding. You talk about your marriage and family as being an entrenchment. This implies you think you have no choices. Clarity concerning this issue involves understanding what each person in your life owes to another and what interferes with being able to exercise freedom of choice.

Discernment allows you to see the relative importance to your journey that those around you provide. Self-worth lets you see that this is your journey and you are magnificent, all-powerful, and all-knowing if you remove the blockages. Self-love allows you to connect with the essence within and to love your position within all energy. It has nothing to do with loving a member of the current opposite sex. If you do not accept and love yourself, it is impossible to truly love another human being.

In your confusion about your life, do not get drawn into the chaos of her life. She needs to make the choices in her life based upon her experiences and understanding. Nothing is right or wrong in life. But there may be consequences to actions you decide to take.

ANSWER: Congratulations on your excellent personal progress. As you have become more aware of yourself, you know who you are and fear has all but disappeared from your life. All animals can sense the fear in another and it makes them uneasy. Humans avoid each other, canines and felines try to exploit this fear. You are no longer a threat to anyone, and some are so deep in fear themselves that they want to be with you to find out your secret or just to feel safe.

You have also reached a higher level of vibration because you are no longer held down to the Earth by belief systems and responsibilities that are not your own. You are perceived as a breath of fresh air and a non-polluted environment all want to share. In this new state you will continue to be noticed by others. Do not be surprised if total strangers talk to you, and people don’t seem to want you to leave once engaged. Don’t be concerned; you have freedom of choice and may simply say to them you have to be on your way.

There is also another factor that has shifted interchanges between humans. The state of the world has lowered a veil of fear over the planet. Since people are not spending as they are accustomed, sales personnel are outwardly soliciting business by trying to befriend those in their stores. When there were almost too many customers to service clerks became curt and surly; now they are sweet and friendly. “Don’t you want to help a friend by making a purchase?”

People living in close proximity to you formerly felt very self-contained and safe all to themselves. In the current hard times, however, they never know when they might have to borrow something or ask a favor, and they figure you have to know them to respond affirmatively. But they also feel your energy and that is why they are approaching you rather than some of the other neighbors.

Remember that you do draw to you what you need to experience, so all of these occurrences have something to do with your continued growth. Be aware!

ANSWER: A number of things have all come together at once in your life. You were deluged with negative events that brought out insecurities, your response to which was escaping. Your soul wanted to see if you were aware enough to see through these tests, all of which you had gone through in other lives, and be able to analyze the events and move through them.

You knew that this was a huge amount for a human to be confronted with all at one time, so you and someone from your soul group had a backup plan to get together and allow him to tutor you through the mess. That “guide or angel” was none other than your own higher self, or the unconscious aspect of your soul who planned ahead for a period of overwhelm. Until someone brought out your acceptance of what had happened, and what could come, you were stymied. Now you can proceed again.

You did not set a time limit on how long the two of you would work together. Just sit back, relax, and see where everything goes from here. You have shared other Earth time together and have taken turns being rescuer and victim. A soul mate is normally the one chosen to be present when major things are going to happen in a life—both the good and the bad. Open yourself to all the energy that surrounds you and see how much is coming from him, and how much from you. It is easier to make choices if you immerse yourself in the moment and sense where you feel comfortable and where you need to go.

ANSWER: Are you sure that sight is integral to the happiness and contentment of your cat? Step back and observe who is more bothered by the resulting present condition of your cat: You are more upset than she. She took it in her stride once the point of no return was reached. She is not suffering, just adjusting to finding ways to compensate.

In addition to providing lessons in unconditional love, our pets also facilitate life lessons. You assume she is suffering because if this happened to you, you sense you would be suffering from the effect it would have on your daily life. You are studying issues of control – as in, how much do you really have?

You were not an expert in cat conditions and therefore had to rely on the people you assumed had the knowledge. You took as many steps as you could to diagnose this condition, but it was out of your hands. Let go of the blame and guilt you are feeling. There was nothing further you could have done. That was all part of the control cycle – you can only control what another allows you to control.

Humans do have an impact on their animals – by agreement, of course. Your cat consented to allowing you to experience this sense of helplessness. In most cases, since only 1% to 2% of animals have souls that study life lessons, almost all of the agreements are for the humans’ benefit.

Animals are sensitive to negativity, and an owner who harbors a massive amount of negativity shares it with their pets.

ANSWER:  You can be hurt by the actions and words of someone only if you allow those activities to influence you. Your mother is very angry about the way her life has turned out. She hates your husband because he will not allow her to bask in misery and negativity. His tool to prevent this is humor. She does not want to feel good so she erupts whenever he starts to get too close to her trigger points and the ability to point out to her that most of her unhappiness is of her own making.

Your mother wants her negativity and resents your husband’s attempts to replace it with lightness and positive love. He is unaffected by her outbursts because he doesn’t take her seriously. He understands that is just the way she feels comfortable reacting to her despair.

You and your daughter have to accept that your mother is just being who she chooses to be. She feels she has the right to be miserable if she so chooses and that no one should have the audacity to try to change her. She is not an intentionally evil person, just a very unhappy one. The influence that her behavior has upon your family is only what you allow it to be. If it becomes too difficult to work with you can always let her stay in the home a weekend or two to get the message you will not tolerate her striking out.

This is a perfect lesson to explain to your daughter the difference between people who are unaware of the reactions others are having to their behavior and the ones who intentionally set out to cause harmful negative feelings in others. You can discuss with her the spiritual need to love others regardless of their actions because they are all souls having a physical experience. Tell her it is her choice whether she lets her grandmother’s actions have an impact or if she just sits back and observes one possible consequence of losing independence as one ages.

ANSWER: Your brother has chosen negativity instead of loving positive energy. He felt betrayed by the loss of his employment and victimized by everyone around him. The arthritis was called to him to justify his thoughts of the world being against him. He turned to his guru to rescue him from the evil surrounding him. When all his wants were not satisfied by his devotion, he became even more bitter.

He then brought in more negative energy because in his misery he wanted company. Some of the negativity that he called to himself was of a soul that had passed out of its body but chose not to go back Home, what we call a “discarnate.” This entity has taken almost complete control over him of late. What he reflects to others is pure negative thoughts and deeds.

This energy makes him feel powerful. It is true he has low self-esteem for he feels he must ally himself with this negativity and that is the only way he can feel comfortable and in control. The only hope you and his family have of seeing the old person is to get him to renounce the being that is attached to him. Convince him that he needs positive energy to recapture his previous existence.

When he consents, gather as many energy healers and friends as you can. They don’t have to physically be in the same room, but at the same time have them intentionally send him love and healing energy. The dark entity will not want to be anywhere near that much love and will depart. Reinforce for your brother what has happened, so he does not choose to invite the entity back.

ANSWER: It is impossible for one person to lead the life of another. You are trying to dictate to your daughter what she should do because of your attachment to the ex-boyfriend. You cannot make her like him; in fact, your insistence that she like him has caused her to rebel against your desires and run away from you.

The ex-boyfriend is a soul mate of yours with whom you have shared a number of lives. In his presence you feel the pleasure of past lives. He is with you in this life for you to understand more about trying to control the life of another. You associate the feeling of love more with him than with your daughter, and it is time for you to examine these feelings.

You have trouble loving yourself; you sense that love is only something that comes from outside. You will not have low energy or be in pain if you connect with the love inside and use it to see what is happening in your life. You have to stop worrying about others and start working on yourself.

What happens between your daughter and the ex is completely up to them. Stop fixating on them. Begin to create the life that you seek. Make your plans without the two of them. When you can clearly see a time without either of them, you are focusing on yourself.

Always thinking about him is like an obsession with a movie star or politician whom you may never even meet. It is time to become realistic. Your daughter has someone she is happy with at this time. Try to see him for the person he is, not just as a reflection of who you want him to be.

ANSWER: There is no one person who is destined to be with you. You determine who it is you want to be with and energetically draw those to you who allow you to fulfill your desires. No two humans ever match identically since each has freedom of choice to decide what to do from moment to moment. You are always changing; who you are, what you want, and what satisfies you are based upon the experiences you have.

A relationship is successful when the two parties share who they are and what their dreams are for the future. You should only listen to your inner feelings and not the thinking of family and friends. Look for a comfortable and loving connection. Since you are not identical, there will be times when you can’t stand something he is doing, but the same is being perceived by him about what you are thinking and doing.

Only you know if this is the one you have been waiting for. You are making the plans, deciding the requirements you seek, and calling the person to you. Stop putting so many obstacles in your own way. You are seeing only the aspects of him you can’t stand instead of seeing if you can work them out so you are both happy.

He loves you and enjoys being in your company. He would never do anything to hurt you. The idea you have that he is tricking you and working on your vulnerabilities does not come from inside you but from relatives who do not want you to be happy. Go with your feelings. If it feels good, see how you can make it even better. Communication is the key.

A. Dear Confused One, your biggest problem is in not listening. This stems from two things in your early childhood. First, you were told that children should be seen and not heard and, second, that nobody wanted to hear your opinion because you were stupid. This created an urgency within you to say something—anything—in order to be recognized. You frequently acknowledge to yourself that what you had to say was stupid nonsense but are encouraged by the fact that at least you got to say it.

To start to engage in a meaningful conversation with another person you must have something to say that they want to hear. No one wants to hear noise just for the sake of noise. Before you open your mouth, listen to what is being said; if they are talking about the local sports teams don’t comment on your recent root canal. As you are talking, listen to yourself and ask: Is this something that I would like to hear? If it isn’t, then it is something that you shouldn’t have said. After a while you will “pre-screen” what you are about to say and know if it is pertinent to the conversation.

Because of the negative environment in which you grew up, most of your thoughts are directed toward negative things. When all you talk about are negative experiences other people run away from you because they wish to be encouraged and made happy by their social contacts and not pulled into depression. People want to be accepted, not rejected. While gossip will be readily listened to by your co-workers, they will not want to further associate with you out of a fear that you will then gossip about them—so they run away.

You have an extreme need to be accepted because of your earlier rejection. Stop continuing to think that the rejection will always be there, because then you create the environment for it to flourish. Think happy thoughts of enjoyable conversations with others. Practice with yourself in being totally aware of what each party is saying, then go out and do it. When you are sensitive to others they will flock to you, not run away.

ANSWER: Your daughter is trying to see how much you will empower her sense of irresponsibility. You have enabled her in the past, mainly due to her threats, to live the life she chooses. What you do in the future is up to you. The reason this is not having the impact on you that her actions have in the past is that you have become more aware of the spiritual energies afoot.

Everyone has freedom of choice to live their lives as they wish. In the case of people like your daughter, they try to see if they can influence others to do their bidding. This is all about lessons each is working on: one to try and be in control and the other to see if they can learn from being controlled or if they can remove themselves from the influence of the controller. You have learned to honor your choices and ignore her demands.

Your self-destructive child is very confused and is running away from life and responsibility. They deaden themselves so they don’t have to acknowledge the rest of the world. This, too, is a life lesson and their choice. Right now, they are not near to understanding what it is they wish to accomplish, but don’t give-up on them – just don’t facilitate their addiction.

Threats made by manipulators are to play on your sense of guilt and duties as a parent. Once a person starts intentionally making decisions for themselves, it is time to step away and let them see the other side of decision making – that of responsibility. Your daughter can take care of herself if she works at it, but she is lazy. It is time to let her find her way.

This isn’t bothering you so much because you sense the spiritual journeys each is undertaking. You know they will not do anything unless they choose to do it. You have moved out of judgment and are in the area of evaluation covered in unconditional love. You have held their hands long enough. Time to start letting them live the life of their choice.

ANSWER: Because of your love for your firstborn son, he has been able to blind you somewhat to his manipulation. He was always very labor intensive growing up, and that is what made it necessary for you to physically cut the maternal cords between you. With the others, the cords just withered and fell off when they became self-reliant.

Your son wants life both ways: he wants to be considered an adult, but he also doesn’t want to be responsible for the results of some of his own decisions. He does not have a good sense of money, its value, and what is needed to maintain a self sufficient lifestyle.

He will not wake up to these principles until he is placed in a situation of having no choice but to take inventory of what he does and be totally responsible for all his actions. This is something your world has dubbed “tough love.” It involves being made to exist on one’s own without the possibility of a bailout from parents or friends.

Times are difficult right now, but knowing that Mom’s help is available means that your son could expect you at any time to “fix” his overspending. The choice is yours. You must follow what feels right to you; that will give you an indication of all the aspects of the contract you made with your son for this lifetime.

ANSWER: There is more than one way to look at “parenting.” There is society’s way, where the parents are responsible for everything that the child does and believes. There is the spiritual way, where it is known that each soul is responsible for its own life and learning. And there is the child’s perspective, either wanting the parent to do everything for them or to leave them completely alone to find their own way.

There is no right or wrong answer to this dilemma. Whom do you want to please: society, the child, or yourself? As with all souls, a child will not do anything that they do not choose to do. So, no matter how hard you work, if they don’t want your interaction it is wasted.

On the other hand, if you do everything for the child, you are preventing them from learning the lessons they came to experience, because one works their way to understanding by using their freedom to choose negative or positive actions. Every soul chooses their environment, so your children are always part of the selection process of the type of family they will enter. In this case it was inevitable that the family would be split, with different parenting skills being provided by each parent and the child having to decide through their freedom of choice.

A soul comes to Earth to experience a lot of different things. The primary purpose is to find out who they are as a soul and what elements of living they wished to encounter. Your opening is to the possibilities of a soul having a human experience, and all that implies.

One aspect of spiritual growth is removing yourself from societal ego judgment. Determining what is “best” is a judgment and simply a comparison of your actions versus the activity of another. Go into your heart and see what feels like the assistance you can provide without judging it against other people. You are never responsible for the decisions made by another – even your child.

ANSWER: The father of your child is going through a wild phase right now and has no intention of settling down; hence all his various girlfriends. He definitely plans to have input into his child’s life but would rather not be close enough to have to change diapers and have sleepless nights. You are never going to be able to convince him that you need to do this together – as in one household.

When children choose the humans who will be their parents, they are aware of the relationship that is ongoing. Your child knows that you are not together and that, as much as you are trying, the father has no desire to get married. He may sometime in the future, if he doesn’t like one of his current girlfriends better, decide to finalize the union and get married. There are too many variables right now to say this is a given.

This is happening at this time so you can see what your actions created. You had lustful sex without taking sufficient precautions, and a baby was the result. You now have to take the responsibility for your actions. You cannot go backward and dictate the relationship between you and the father, because sex – and now this result – was not considered at all.

Your child will be aware of the emotions and energies that fill your household. Having a man in the house who feels forced to be there will send your child the wrong message concerning love and parenting. You say you don’t want a stepfather in the child’s life, but if the man truly loves you both, it can have a very stabilizing effect.

This is happening to you for you to work out these lessons and be more aware of consequences when you do things for emotional reasons only. You are an adult now and responsible for all the results of your actions – in this case it even involves a third person because of your carelessness.

Sex without love is a human bodily need sometimes. But if you engage in same, you must be prepared for pregnancy without a stable connection to the father. Then it is up to you alone to decide the future, since the baby is inside you and not the father.

ANSWER: The instinct and unconditional love for her offspring is a human emotion that presents many life lessons for a mother. You are absolutely correct that each soul is only responsible for its own spiritual growth. One of your life lessons is to give up your need to control. It is based on your love for your son, but the life he is leading is still his.

Parents’ role in society is to teach their children to be good citizens and the difference between right and wrong. Society implies that parents should have enough influence on their children to control their behavior, which is just not true. All people have the freedom of choice to do exactly what they desire regardless of their education or the desires of society or family.

Your son is testing his wings. He is learning about responsibility by making his own decisions and working with the consequences. If he did what you wanted him to do, he would be depending on you and giving up his life’s responsibility, saying you know better the lessons he chose than he does. He would not grow. Don’t stop advising him, but do stop blaming yourself, or becoming frustrated, when he doesn’t listen.

Look at the situation this way. Your son is putting together his life. You have written an instruction manual that gives step-by-step techniques to facilitate getting through life to the place you are now. He has chosen to disregard the manual and fumble his way through life. Send him love energy to see his way through the process.

ANSWER: Your wife is making her choices based upon the pressures being placed on her by family and friends. She yearns to be able to “play” as she did when a little girl. She does not want to have any responsibilities for a husband or children. She is acting like a spoiled little child and her family thinks it is fine because they have her back with them again. You were never considered to be quite good enough for their daughter.

Her negativity and depression comes from those with whom she is now associating. None of them see the world as positive and they feed off each other’s negativity. It is almost as if they are having contests to see who can be the most negative. They are even gathering negative beings (discarnates) into their presence.

Just moving away from her family will not change the way she is acting at this time. She needs to want to be a wife and mother and not see it as drudgery. Underneath all the negativity is a good soul but it is buried quite deeply. It is impossible to get people to change the way they think or behave unless they want to change. Nothing you do will make her change.

The choice then becomes yours: put up with her under these conditions or move on. Your wedding is over, and a lot of choices have to be made by everyone to get it back to where it was.

ANSWER: Ambiguity is a powerful lesson with which to deal. You have a very human physical relationship of a normal variety started when you had little experience and confidence in who you were. You then have an energetic being enter your life who stimulates you not on a merely physical level, but also on a vibrational level. It is virtually impossible to compare the two.

You made a contract with this new soul to enter your life at this time to awaken energetic feelings within you. You wished to then tussle with the decisions presented. Your intuition is simply telling you that this is what you wanted to happen, but you did not have a set outcome in mind. It is for you to examine your life and see what feels right to you.

Honor yourself in this situation. You had become very complacent in your marriage, stuck as you called it. There is no real excitement—just a job you are stuck performing. Your choices are to stay or to leave. We suggest, to assist in your decision, you start a list of everything that feels good in your marriage and everything that does not feel good or satisfy you. Then you have to decide what YOU want to happen. This is about your growth and understanding, not a sense of what society might tell you is “correct.”

Your child can feel when you are vibrant and when you are depleted. If you choose that it is time to move on, staying around because your husband doesn’t want you to leave is saying to him and yourself that he knows more what is right for you than you do. Take charge and you won’t be stuck any longer.

ANSWER: In the spiritual sense, nothing is considered wrong – or, for that matter, right. Everything that occurs happens for the lessons that can be gained. Your Earth family is just that, some souls that enabled you to be born into a human body. As souls, they are not related to you in any other sense. You may have contact with them during this single lifetime and none other.

You chose to be in this situation so that you could explore your feelings about societally imposed responsibilities, honoring yourself as a soul choosing a physical experience and dealing with various attributes such as guilt, selfishness, and issues of control.

Your mother is a manipulative, negativity-loving person. Up until this time you have tended to give in to her demands, and she is using you. Your brother and sister have not been so easy to control, which she respects and rewards by giving them what they ask for.

For almost the first time, you are questioning the entire relationship within your family and starting to see that what is demanded of you is not of any benefit to your learning process. Society tells humans that they should take care of their elders – but that is mostly so that the society does not have to be responsible. They say you are selfish and unloving if you don’t do as asked. That is a ridiculous conclusion that serves them but not you.

As you are aware, your mother does not really need your assistance. She wants it just to prove you are under her control. You have freedom of choice. You do not have to do as she requests, and there is no need to love the negative human she is portraying.

What is of greater significance in this situation is loving yourself and honoring the spiritual journey you are on. You are here to discover that you are a piece of Source energy, with all the powers and abilities that implies. Self-love comes from the acceptance and realization that the lessons you are dealing with will allow you to make the choices from which to grow in understanding and wisdom.

There is nothing wrong with ignoring her and even separating yourself from the rest of the family, as well.

ANSWER: You have done an excellent job of pinpointing the issues that are involved in the lessons of your own life. You are aware that you can’t make another person change unless they want to change. Nonetheless, it is possible to sometimes stimulate another to think about the issues they have so they may address them.

Your sister is currently engaged in the practice of being in the “pity-pot”. She is  always thinking “woe is me”, my life is a mess and everyone around me is in the same state. Of, course she is the source of that state of discomfort. She is very selfish and wants to be the center of attention, nothing and no one can please her. This results in the misery to all.

Everyone within her circle of unhappiness has chosen to be there for one reason or another. It is their lesson to find out why they are there and how to extract themselves. As long as each remains they reinforce the focus point, your sister, and things will not change. If each person recognized that they have the ability to remove themselves from the cauldron, and did so, then your sister would be left to see she had to deal singly with her depressive sadness.

You must deal with your feelings of repulsion and distress. What do they make you feel? We don’t mean just those emotions, but what do they make you feel about yourself? Go into those feelings and at the bottom of the cause is the solution to banishing them forever. The fear of getting involved has more to do with what will be said to you and the way you feel about that then the action of having your say.

Examine why the statements of others affect you so much. That is one big lesson along the way. If anything said to you has a negative affect you are accepting all or part of the statement as being true. Go into the statement and see if you truly feel it is correct. If it is negative – you have brought to light another issue with which to deal. Go looking for those fears and doubts in your life – they are the lessons.

ANSWER: Just what does a friendship mean to you? Does it mean that you have to do whatever your “friend” wants you to do, regardless of how it is affecting your life, so that you can still count her among your friends? To be successful, a relationship must go both ways. You get something for whatever you contribute. You share thoughts, ideas, ambitions. You get so close that you don’t even have to tell the other person what you are thinking because they are so tuned into you  they even know what you are thinking. That is a true friendship.

Your friend had family problems because she only cares about herself. She does not want to have to take responsibility for her life—no job, no answering to anyone but herself. She is letting you take care of her, even down to the fact that she steals energy from you like a vampire, and the result is that you are always tired and irritable when she is around. If you want to return to your regular sense of self you have got to pull the plug on her.

Stop letting her take advantage of you. Anything you do to get her to change the way she is operating will have an effect upon your friendship because her definition of friendship is synonymous with slavery. It is all right to spend your existence as the servant of another if you are getting reimbursed, but what are you getting here? Use the principle of “tough love” and toss her out. You will be helping her to see it is time to grow up and be an adult.

Value yourself as much as you think you are valuing this friendship. Start taking care of yourself; honor yourself for the fantastic person you are. Don’t give up your power to determine your lifestyle to someone who should be a guest but has become a parasite. It is time to fumigate.

ANSWER: Your position regarding your father has been to deal with him without allowing him to interfere with your lessons. He has permitted you to see the different types of people who inhabit the planet and how relationships take place. Any time you share an action with another, there are overt and covert activities that affect each in various ways depending on their position in their journey.

You recognize that your father has beliefs that cause him to act at times in an extreme manner. You have learned not to take this personally and it hasn’t bothered you recently. You are correct that both you and your mother have allowed the behavior to exceed what is acceptable in normal society.

You have no obligations to insinuate yourself into his actions unless you desire. He is unaware of the effect that his opinions have on others. You have three possible actions. You can do nothing since it is his trip and he will change only if he wishes. You can tell him your observations about his boorish behavior and see if he recognizes and accepts the need for change. Or you can inform the new family members of his “peculiar” reactions in some situations, with the caveat that “it’s just him; don’t take it personally.”

If the new members are of tender age, they were aware of the potential of dealing with a situation such as this before they came, and it could be one of their chosen lessons. In any case, surround his soul with as much unconditional love as you can throw at him with the intention that he will learn his lessons.

He rather likes tension and negativity because he absorbs all the negative energy that is created by the distress of those he impacts. Comment to him on how being negative prevents happiness and fulfillment from coming through. Remind him of the cheerful energy found around a happy, giving person.

In the end, any change is his choice alone.

ANSWER: Souls come to Earth to have human experiences. One of those physical experiments is concerned with interpersonal relationships between men and women. Society has certain rules and regulations which they insist all should follow. Marriage is forever, couples should be monogamous: these are not spiritual restrictions.

You have been taught that it is wrong to love someone other than the person to whom you are married. Why? You have love also for family, children, your best friends, so why is it different? Most will say because it could involve sexual relations. These thoughts were not always observed. There was a time, when war seemed imminent, that the cry was for free love so that all might experience the bliss available. But we digress slightly from your problem.

Your husband still loves you but you don’t feel the same about him because you have grown at different rates. He is still at the level of when you met; you have become more aware of yourself and your life lessons. His type of love is one of convenience; your reciprocation is one of compassion. The excitement is gone. He has a lot of things outside the marriage to occupy him that he does not share with you; you need stimulation.

The intense feelings you got from the stranger come from someone with whom you have spent other lives. It is not merely a sign that you might be happy together; it occurred so that you would be awakened to your situation with your husband. It is also to let you know you have freedom of choice and nothing is written in stone. Go into your feelings and see where you want to be in a year or so. Ask if there is a future in your heart with your husband. Just stop using dreams about a stranger as an excuse for not facing your problems.

ANSWER: There are several types of love. There is love of self, the unconditional love of the universe and Source, and then romantic love, which only exists on Earth and is felt through the human body. What you seek is romantic love, that “feel good” in the nerve endings of the body, responding to stimulation from the object of your affection. That is the minutest of love. If you do not unconditionally love yourself and the journey you are on, you cannot give or receive love from another individual.

Loving yourself carries you through all those times in your life when another is not around to provide the romantic love. Romantic love may be dangerous because it colors all that you see and want to feel. It creates a curtain of denial over new people you meet when you desperately want to have that sense of movie-style romance. You do not allow yourself to see the flaws.

Your new love has been mostly honest with you except for how much he is still under the control of the mother of his child. The child is being used as a pawn to get him to do whatever she wants. She is aware of the discomfort of the situation and relishes having you feel bad. She considers getting you involved adds another layer of control she has over him.

You have the freedom of choice to stay with this difficult life lesson or to move on to another. You have established a pattern of drawing to you only men who have problems in their lives that will impact your partnership. Start seeing the type of man who will come into a relationship without baggage. Treat yourself to a simple union based on open, easy friendship and then let it grow into more.

ANSWER: No one should have to put or accept conditions on a relationship. Your daughter is still the bully you remember from the past. Since she has been out in the world through her self-imposed exile, it has been more and more difficult for her to find people who readily allow her to take away their energy. She is looking for a refueling base and that is the reason behind her desire to be with her family again. She figures she was able to call the shots before, and have that sense of power, so why not do it again?

As a soul you have no responsibility for anyone other than yourself and finding your reason for being here. Society says that a child is always a child and you have responsibility for her forever. This is so people have someone to blame. Once a person reaches the age of majority, parents are no longer legally responsible for anything that their child does, even though it is easier on society if you voluntarily assume responsibility.

You cannot make someone do anything that she does not choose to do. Whether the person is related to you or not is irrelevant. Your daughter made her choice to leave. Do not allow her to have control over you again, just to have contact with her. If she should ever choose to return with no strings attached, then receive her with love, but don’t accept terms in exchange for endearment.

ANSWER: Your mother has always been a very bitter person living in negativity. She is afraid of everything and strikes out against people so they won’t recognize her fear. When she compares herself with others, she always finds herself wanting so she tries to make all those around her as miserable as she feels; it is her way of hiding in full view of others.

She watched you as children and was jealous because she thought you were having a better life than she had, so she tried to ruin it in any way she could. This was all part of her chosen life lesson of recognizing she is a soul with Source energy. She feels abandoned and abused.

Lack of good nutrition did affect her nervous system and glands, but that was only secondary to the choices she made. She had to fight a sense of unease due to a weak constitution, but she chose to be unhappy and mad all the time. She would not get therapy because then someone might know how she hated herself and was always afraid. She had an idea of how to make herself feel better, but she chose not to do it.

You have a journey of your own, independent from hers. You have no spiritual responsibility for her life and choices unless you choose to be involved – then you are giving up your power to her and saying “do with me what you want.” She is like an animal or a child, seeing how far she can push you in order to feel superior. Every time you give into her, she rejoices in her power.

For your own sanity, maintain control in your world and don’t give in to her demands. She is always testing to see how much control she has. Honor yourself and live your own life.

ANSWER: Stop being so hard on yourself and taking responsibility for the choices that your mother made. Your father left because he could not deal with her demands any longer. She wanted to be taken care of but refused to appreciate or even consider liking anything that was not her complete idea from the beginning.

She chose to be an unhappy, manipulative, negative person in this lifetime. She wanted to see how far she could push others to meet her desires. She was incapable of “love” because she did not know what it was. She felt no obligation to anybody but herself.

Secretly she liked the house you had built, but she could never tell you because that would mean she would have to admit you did something right – a concept she could not condone. You were becoming too independent for her and no longer feared her and catered to her every whim, so she left.

In the beginning after your father left, you felt abandoned and wanted to hold on to a degree of security, which was your remaining parent. You walked around afraid all the time that you could not please her, one of the reasons you assigned to your own behavior in partially blaming yourself for the departure of your father. As time went on and you became more confident that this had nothing to do with you, your mother felt her influence disappear.

As far as she was concerned, as soon as she left your house you no longer existed for her since you weren’t taking care of her any longer. So, when you called, it was like a stranger off the street asking for assistance, which she saw no reason to provide. For you, cutting the ties was honoring yourself and no longer putting up with her selfishness.

Her suffering through this life was based on choices she made. She chose to live a life completely in negative energy, without love or connection. She never saw you as worthy of love, even to the degree she understood it. She has returned to the unconditional love energy of Source but has still not allowed herself to integrate back into it. Her guides are assisting her.

You need to realize that everything is based on choices for lessons. One of your lessons was to finally see that there was nothing more you could do for the woman who was your mother, and to love yourself enough to walk away. Now let go of all the “what ifs” that are plaguing you, causing the panic. Love yourself, and love the soul that was inside your mother for the horrible lessons it subjected itself to during this life. Look for the love in your soul and in the world; be at peace.

ANSWER: A soul lives a series of lives wherein it chooses the human family it will enter for any Earth life. Rarely, if ever, does it enter the same physical human lineage in subsequent lives.

The lessons it works on in each life may have some carryover into a subsequent life if they did not finish the learning of a particular desired issue and if they have chosen to revisit it in the current life. If they did not opt to address it now, the issue lies dormant until they make that choice. Their individual memories relate to the personal situations in which they participated but do not include the human historical lineage.

That being said, each person creates their own reality based upon the beliefs they choose to incorporate into their life. They may feel a physical pulling toward the genetic predisposition of their body or the physical tendencies that are built into the genetic base of the family. For instance, a soul may have chosen a particular family because they all suffer from some disease or are prone to addictions that the soul chose to experience.

When working with a client regarding these issues, bear in mind that the specific problem they are facing can be twofold. They may be influenced by one of their past-life events, or it may come from the physical tendencies by which the person has chosen to be affected. In both cases the healing comes in understanding the part the soul chose to play in each.

Only the individual can change the triggering effect a past event can have on their human body. Healing what was caused by an ancestor in the physical line doesn’t affect the soul who was not a participant in it. One caveat to this, though, is that if the person has adopted the belief that they are influenced by their physical ancestors’ problems, they can be. Remember, everyone creates their own reality.

ANSWER: You wanted to see if you could examine the possibilities available to you and decide for yourself how you wished to live your life. Before you became aware of enlightenment – going from ego judgment into unconditionally loving energy – you were more in line with your family. When you started accepting the feelings you were getting from the way people reacted to you and made demands of you, it was time to make choices.

Until you started realizing you had choices, possibilities you didn’t even previously know existed, you had no choice but to do what you were directed to do by others. Choices are now available that would either comply with or be diametrically opposed to your family’s beliefs.

You have freedom to choose either, neither, or a different direction entirely. One of your chosen lessons was to see if you could develop self-love and self-confidence in your own path. By following others for whatever reason, familial or societal, you are giving up your power and identity to them. A soul’s journey is a solo affair. You cannot live anyone else’s life or make worthwhile decisions for them. You do not grow unless you assume responsibility for your actions.

To progress, you must make each decision because it feels right to you, not because you believe someone else wishes it. Your parents did what they thought was the right thing to do since they followed the beliefs of the society around them. They feel strongly that everything must be rated, graded, and judged to establish its worth in the world.

From the spiritual perspective, you owe them nothing. You can still love the fact that they are being faithful to their beliefs, even though you feel they are not the right principles for you to follow. Be yourself. Do what you feel is the correct thing for your daughter’s future. You have no obligation to any other.

ANSWER: With your erratic behavior in the past, your daughters had a period where they feared your actions and the people drawn to your negative energy. Your responses to them were unpredictable and hurtful. They grew concerned that you might affect not only them but also their family and friends in the same manner as you had affected their lives, and that is what has created their standoffishness.

People like to know what to expect in any given situation. A person grows up seeing and expecting various people—such as parents, siblings, officials—to act in a certain way. When one moves outside the normal patterns of interpersonal and societal exchanges, fear develops. It is necessary that you build up a predictable pattern of behavior when it comes to your interactions with your daughters.

Start with a letter of apology for any misunderstanding in the past. Ask what you can do to allow them to have a trusting relationship with you. Suggest that you and they, just your daughters, meet in a neutral place such as a coffee shop or restaurant to re-establish family ties. They will need to see that you are “normal” in the way they expect a mother to be. Do not let them bait you into an argument.

If you truly want to get back into their lives, you must see what they want and try to comply with their wishes—but only if it feels comfortable to you. Do not let them dictate the patterns they want you to follow. If you are unable to reach an accord at this neutral setting meeting, they are not ready to let you back into their lives. You will need to have a little patience. Trust is hard to create.

ANSWER: Your children are very selfish and manipulative and want to have you available to assist them with their lives when they deem it necessary. Ignore them as they ignored your needs so many years ago. Just as then, the only thing that is important to you should be your own journey and what you have learned along the way. You have done a marvelous job learning that lesson – each soul has responsibility only for learning about themselves.

Your response to them should be that you don’t have to take care of adult children. To them, a normal mother is one who is at the beck and call of the children to run errands, babysit, and help get things ready for their entertaining. You do not need to have their title and definition of mother in your vocabulary.

They are also a little jealous of the life you and your husband have made after all you went through. Your ex, as well, has conveyed to them his disquiet that your life is so much better than his. They harbor a good deal of guilt for the way they treated you and think it will all be excused if you “join” into their lives now. You still have freedom of choice.

If they wish to make demands of you “as their mother,” they have to understand that it is a two-way street: you have no need for them now, and they chose to stay away when there was a need. If they wish to create a gulf between you if you fail to meet their demands, then so be it.

Cutting the apron strings was done a long time ago, but disconnecting the communication line is up to you. What is for your highest and greatest good is what feels right to you. Your desire to be kind, compassionate, and loving can come with a huge price tag – losing yourself for the benefit of another. Remember your lessons.

ANSWER: You and your son have had several lives together, and you have alternated in being the helper and the one who needs help. Your life lessons are intertwined in this life because you emotionally feel everything that he is feeling. It is as if what is happening to him is being inflicted upon you. He doesn’t have to say anything to you for you to know exactly how he is feeling. And that makes it difficult not to want to step in and take onto yourself the harmful verbiage coming from his contemporaries, so he does not have to work his way through the abuse.

His lessons include figuring out all about self-image and self-worth. His response to situations now can be with anger and striking out. He has to learn that what is yelled at him can hurt only if he accepts it as truth and allows himself to feel bad because of it. He has to learn to love himself for who he is inside—the beautiful soul that you see. In this strength he can weather the winds of scorn and laugh at their attempt to cower him.

You must try to take a seat on the sideline and let him figure out the way to handle his situation. Advise him how to defuse the intended abuse in a comical way, such as by seeing the offenders themselves as so weak-sighted that they can’t see he is a gallant knight working through adversity to conquer the learning necessary to move up in society. Love him enough to let him find the way to be comfortable in his life.

ANSWER: It is a fact that you cannot get people to do something they do not wish to do. Your mate loves that you love him unconditionally and takes advantage of that fact. He is selfish in many ways since he really only thinks of himself and his desires. He is not concerned about you or the baby.

Getting the opportunity to leave you for a job away from you makes him able to justify not being around to help as you get ready to have the child. He won’t be there for the child care and sleepless nights. He doesn’t see this as anything he should be or wants to be involved in. He can barely take care of himself; how is he ever going to be able to take care of a child?

You are not being selfish; you are being reasonable. You see that your opinions should have an impact on the relationship, and he refuses to accept that. It is time to decide if you wish to start making your own decisions instead of going along with everything he wants. It is time to take back and assert your power.

You will have to define what you see as happiness. To some it is allowing others to make all the decisions and not having to take any responsibility. To others it is using their freedom of choice to control their life and making all the decisions concerning their existence.

Nothing is right or wrong. There are many ways to learn lessons in this life. It is your choice if you wish to remain in this situation or change it and look for another. Happiness can generally be found where you feel good about yourself and the life you are leading.

ANSWER: Being someone’s soulmate doesn’t guarantee bliss and happiness. It merely refers to the fact that you came into existence at about the same time. A soul frequently will ask a soulmate to be their biggest supporter or hugest antagonist so they may accomplish the lessons they wished, since they know them well enough to know they will be steadfast in the activity.

You are letting a lot of negativity creep into your life. Anger thrives in negative energy and draws even more to itself. When you sense anger or any negative emotion starting to take over your mood, remember the happiest time in your life and banish that bad feeling, replacing it with a loving one.

Your desire to be “submissive” is confusing your conscious mind. You do not like being controlled by anyone or anything, but submission guarantees that will occur. If you really mean that you wish to be a “good” wife by society standards, that means only that you both share in the relationship – sometimes you giving in to your husband and sometimes he doing the same for you.

This is your journey, not one where you play follow the leader. Decide how you want this life to look. Each soul creates their own reality; manifest it the way you desire. You have ultimate freedom of choice if you take it. Behave exactly as is comfortable for you.

Step back from the situation and see that, at the moment, you are overwhelmed with your life. You are so tired that you react instead of understanding an event. Your response of screaming feels good because it is a way to release the tension created by all the input racing toward you. Take some time just for yourself, whether it be a soothing bath, reading a book, or meditating.

Once you return to a more normal self-awareness, you can then determine the status of your “love.” Don’t throw things out in this time of frustration. Talk with your husband about your feelings being buried in negativity and the fact that you need time to find your center to rejuvenate your soul. Bring in as much unconditional love from the universe as you can manage and spread it around to your family.

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ANSWER: You are an easy touch for this philandering manipulator. He appears to treat you better than the others because he knows you will repeatedly accept him back regardless of what he has done. Your connection to him is a comfort in knowing exactly what he will do, a desire that he will stay longer this time, and the hope that he will at least return once again but sooner than before.

The love you think you feel coming from him is a reflection of your love, which you are sending to him. He is incapable of feeling or understanding what love is – for him it is all about the sexual act and the boosting of his ego when having total control of the situation. When he returns, you treat him like a returning hero and worship at his feet.

His “cruelty” is a reflection of the way he feels about all women. You only know the way he treats others because of things he has said, which is only the way he observes things from his egotistical vantage point. He can be very compassionate to get what he desires, but the world is all about him and his needs. Don’t fool yourself: you are just a means to an end for him.

You are infatuated with this “bad boy” image. He is not a person who would be considered good by most of society, even if admired by some men for his freedom of being able to go bed hopping.

Souls have freedom of choice, so you can continue to offer yourself up on the altar of this man’s “girl in every port” mentality or bring a sharing, caring person into your life who wants to create a stable, loving relationship. The choice is up to you; there are many, many more males out there.

ANSWER: You had a relationship with a control freak who, when you exerted a little reluctance about his way of doing things, moved on to easier pastures. But he knew from the time you spent together that you were so unsure of yourself that he could still dangle his charms in front of you and you would be unable to resist. And you played right along with him as you responded to his fishing to see if he could still keep you hooked on his line. You even accept his lies, knowing that he is untruthful, when he says he still loves you and would like to see you. He is playing with you just because he can. It is an ego thing—that he is the boss in this situation.

You desperately need to be needed and loved. The attention you got from him you took as love. It was not; it was control. He still dangles contact because he knows you will be there at his feet like a faithful dog, awaiting a pat on your head. You and the woman he went to are not the only women he has attached to him by manipulation strings. It is much easier for him to have a stable via the Internet. He can entertain himself with letters when he is bored or wants to feel the big man.

This is a valuable lesson you are going through. It is neither right nor wrong either to stop it now or carry on longer. Please start going into your feelings and see what this is doing to you. Honor your life and path. You are still blaming yourself for the bad feelings you have. Get rid of the guilt—this is a two-way street. He is insecure and makes himself feel better by having others do his bidding. You don’t have to play along; he can continue having an effect upon you only if you allow it.

ANSWER: Your sons are finding their way through their chosen life lessons. It was no mistake that they came into a family with the nature of the father they had – just as it was no mistake that you married the man and continued to put up with his abuse for all the years that you did. All of you were dealing with issues of self-worth and self-love.

When you let another treat you in a disrespectful, mean-spirited way, you are saying that you feel they are more important than you are and that you do not value yourself. You stuck with the situation because you felt you had no other choice and never really gave any energy to finding a different path.

It is possible for you to heal yourself and the way you interpret your life, but it is impossible to do anything for the boys unless they are willing to look at the entire lifetime and release the anger, guilt, and hatred of themselves and their father. Each soul must come to grips with the lessons they chose and what they were able to learn from them.

Alcohol is a great way to hide. You can go into the bottle and blunt any feelings that are uncomfortable. This is the reason your sons are alcoholic – they don’t want to remember what happened to them. If they would allow themselves to go beyond the guilt for not saying or doing anything when they were younger, they could release the continuing pain and not need the bottle.

Your oldest son blames you for the way his father treated him because he thinks you should have done something to rescue them. He feels this way because, for him, it is better than assigning the blame to himself for not trying to help out. All you can do is send them unconditional love that they may resolve these negative feelings and find happiness again.

ANSWER: There is no way to get another to do something they do not wish to do. This applies to both your daughter and her father. As you know the only thing of any importance to him is himself. He never wanted children, except to prove his manhood, and doesn’t see that he has any responsibility toward them.

Since he never understood what love was, he doesn’t understand why his almost adult daughter needs to have anything to do with him. Your daughter sees part of her identity as “his daughter” and feels neglected and worthless because of his rejection. He is not actively rejecting her; he just doesn’t care or even think about her.

You could help your daughter by assisting her to see that there is nothing lacking in her; it is her father who doesn’t have the maturity, or interest, to see what effects his separation causes. She needs to decide that what he can provide for her will not help her at all but only cause heartache and depression.

You can point out that his lessons this lifetime are about selfishness, and not needing another soul. He wanted to see if he could work through and discover the joy and satisfaction of working and needing others. He has not gotten anywhere near that point and probably will not in this lifetime.

Help your daughter value herself and learn what a fantastic person she is. Let her turn that sense of loss into sharing with others who will reciprocate love.

ANSWER: Your lessons do include self-confidence and self-love using stress and stressors to set up most of your learning experiences. You are very empathic and take in the energy given off by those around you. You are an innate caregiver and persist in taking care of others even to your detriment. You are still trying to maintain the same degree of love for your husband that you had when you first fell for him.

No soul ever remains the same during their lifetime. You have grown apart from your husband through the choices each of you have made. It is time to start taking care of yourself and doing what you want to do and not what you feel you have to do.

Your husband enjoys negativity and getting responses out of those around him. He does not really dislike his current thought processes and isn’t doing much to evaluate and change his behavior. He is definitely not being truthful to you about his feelings and any attempts he is making to change himself because he is not unhappy with his current state.

His cavalier attitude is a major stressor for you and triggers mental and physical reactions that are harming your health. You have the freedom of choice to decide to remove yourself from this situation and find an environment where you can heal.

You have done everything you can to get him to understand what his actions are doing to you, but he just doesn’t really care. It is time to start honoring yourself and deciding how you want to live. In the spiritual sense nothing is right or wrong. Staying or leaving will both allow you to learn, but choosing another setting will allow you to get control of your emotions.

ANSWER: You are like all the other souls who are inhabiting human bodies – you crave love and acceptance. It is the epitome of the human experience. Once you have enjoyed a fraction of what you seek, it becomes addictive and you can’t stop returning to it even if nasty things occur when you do.

Your partner entered this life with a ton of conflicting life lessons. His biggest problem is truthfulness and an awareness of, and sense of responsibility for, the effects his actions have on others. He is selfish and self-absorbed. He is not in a position to reform at this time because he does not seriously think that he needs to.

He will tell you anything he thinks you want to hear in order to get you to bend to his will. Yes, he is manipulating you. You are allowing it because he can be charming, loving, and appealingly supportive – if it suits his plans for what he desires.

You are giving him control over you. In essence you are saying that he knows more about what you deserve than you. This is one way that a soul can learn about themselves, but it is not too pleasant. The decision is yours. You can continue believing what he is saying, or you can really look at his actions and decide based on that.

It is easy to return to a known situation, but there are a lot of other potential partners out there who can be truthful and sharing of their life experience without manipulation. It is never fun having to start all over again, but you can look upon it as an adventure. You can also remain in this union and repeat the same events over and over again. You have total freedom of choice to decide.

ANSWER: Yes and no. The lesson is always that you are to remember your divinity in order to evaluate the lessons you are having in the duality of the human experience. If you do not remember your divinity, you will come under the ego and use human judgment to determine what is happening. The writings you referred to primarily were in reference to people feeling emotionally attacked by another, and not about dealing with physical events, which originate from different agreements.

Physical attacks relate to the underlying lessons that necessitated the attack. If you are dealing with a lesson about forgiveness, you may call a physical experience to yourself to examine the emotions at the heart of the situation or how you handle the aftermath of the attack.

Are you sending out negativity that is being responded to in a physical manner? Have you forced another into a corner and the only response they can see is to fight their way out? You may not have even been aware of the fear they had causing them to react so violently to your actions.

One thing that is true about all physical or abusive behavior directed toward you: somehow you have called it to yourself because you needed or wanted to experience it. Examine your feelings about the entire situation. How do you feel about that person? What are your feelings about the way you handled the event? Sometimes an event will occur so you have to decide whether your reactions are instinctive or the result of exercising freedom of choice. One shows that you are controlled by ego and the other by your soul.

ANSWER: This whole situation was about learning about yourself and the way you create anticipations and, because of that, don’t notice the obvious signs. You wanted a baggage-less affair and that was actually what you got-a one-night stand to help someone on the rebound. You were unable to pick up on his neediness or his desperation to have a relationship.

What you have to do now is deal with your obsession. The predominant feeling is of being used. To feel used, you have to have had an investment in the outcome of the affair. Is that baggage-less? No. Take it for what it was. You told yourself you wanted a fling and that was what you got. What you really wanted was something more permanent or else you would not still be obsessed with the lies he told you.

If you had been true to yourself and admitted that you wanted something that would last a while, you would not have jumped into bed so fast. When you want something more lasting, whether for fun or seriously, you are more particular about the background of your partner.

Let go of the fact that you were not seeing the hidden emotions he was hanging on to. Just know that next time you need to get to know the person better if you want it to last. You can only feel hurt over a past event if you need to feel hurt. Accept this as a tool of how not to behave in the future and move on.

ANSWER: Spiritual courses cause all kinds of energies to go screaming around a room. When you “feel” the energy of another person of the opposite sex for the very first time, you sense that you are meant to be together. This then creates an expectation of how great the union would be. Either a few words or, frequently, none at all are exchanged, yet you feel bound to the person.

Making eye contact, touching, or hugging a person during one of these events may trigger within you a desire to continue the contact because it initiates a physical reaction within you—when the feeling is not mutual at all.

This brief encounter has allowed you to learn a lot about yourself. It has helped you put your fears of reaching out to another on hold. You have overcome the emotions which say you are not good enough to be accepted. You were rebuffed not because of your feelings but because he did not get the same sense about you that you had about him.

The addiction that you feel you have is the need not to return to the personal emotional insecurity of before the course. You have to go out and open up your senses to other males around you. Get a sampling of what they are like. See what appeals to you and then strike up a conversation. Holding on to your expectation of this man is preventing you from having a satisfactory relationship at all. It is not real; it is imaginary.

A. You are like a tiny mouse in a huge maze. As long as you are traveling along familiar corridors, you are fine, you feel a sense of control. Fear rules when you enter passageways and have no clue where they may take you. The same can be said for the intrusion of new mice into your domain-you are afraid that they might do something to disrupt your life. You’re stuck in a self-imposed box where you control the parameters. The problem is that you have no stimulation and no possibility for growth.

Now, remaining in your self-designed cage is not right or wrong. It is an exercise of your freedom of choice. However, the longer you remain in there, the harder it becomes to envision ever getting out. Each time you shy away from exploring new possibilities you miss an opportunity to expand the size of your living quarters.

To change your world you need to face your fear of the unknown. What is it that you fear the most? New people and new situations, of course. To start getting comfortable meeting new people you need to know that they won’t hurt you when you are in a safe environment. Join a group at your church or a local community center that specializes in your favorite pastime. There are knitting, sewing, reading, computer, cooking, and photography groups. Start slowly and interact with only one or two people at a time.

When you share an interest with others it is easy to share yourself and accept that others are sharing themselves as well. You will soon feel excitement at being surprised by something occasionally. The need to control will fade away and it will seem more and more comfortable to be in new situations. Go slowly and enjoy the possibilities!

ANSWER: To find peace you have to work on the life lessons that are causing all this: finding self-confidence and self-love, releasing guilt, and having faith in yourself and your decisions. Your parents are fearful that you will recognize that they are lost and not in control of their lives. They need to feel powerful, and they accomplish that by manipulating you and putting you down so they can feel superior.

Your would-be “savior” is also fearful of life and wanted to curry favor with your parents by offering you up as a sacrificial lamb, thinking everyone would learn from the experience. They truly believed in communication as the way to straighten out difficulties but had no idea how really horrible your situation had become.

Now the next step for you is to analyze why the things said to you had such an impact. Do you believe what was said was factual? You know in your heart that it was not, so why did it affect you so strongly? That had to do with your belief that you are causing some of the problems by your prior actions, that you have not been “good.”

This is ridiculous. You are believing that the demands of your parents are what make a good child. Rubbish. A lot of what they want has nothing to do with fulfilling your obligation as a good child. You frequently know exactly what makes sense in any situation, but when your parents say no, you acquiesce to their way of thinking. It’s time to start having confidence in your feelings.

Know what resonates with your soul. Develop more self-love for all the hard work you have put in during this life. Congratulate yourself for choosing such difficult lessons and moving through them. Don’t let anyone tell you what you should think or do. Have faith in the way you think things should be handled, and then carry them out.

ANSWER: You are in a washing machine of emotions, sloshing around between your dreamed-for relationship,  an emotionally destructive one, and a totally dysfunctional one. You are stuck in the familiar feelings of being with a man regardless of how he is treating you or whether you get anything out of the union because you fear being alone.

It is time to decide exactly what it is that you want. Do you want any man as long as he satisfies your physical needs, at least part of the time? Do you want a man who cries on your shoulder, as you cry on his, comparing emotional horror stories? Or are you ready to have a fulfilling relationship where you share yourself with someone who is not playing games and wants to share himself with you? Or do you maybe need some time alone to access your feelings and work through the lessons you have been experiencing? You have total freedom of choice.

The whole equation begins with how you feel about yourself and what you think you deserve. You have trouble loving yourself so you don’t think a man should love you without strings attached—such as emotional abuse or control issues. Ask why you have these worthiness issues. It is one of your life lessons. Understand that you are as worthy as any other soul in the universe and you have learned that lesson so that you may move on.

Bring self-love into your life. You are a marvelous soul and deserve the very best—settle for nothing less. Allow into your life only men who are balanced in their emotional life and want to share with a woman, not control her. You cling to the past because there was some satisfaction in it. Choose whether that is what you want in the future or not. If it is not, then cut loose of the attachment (the need to have the familiar around even when it is destructive) and begin fresh.

ANSWER: Everybody creates their own truth based upon their perspective. It is very difficult when distance separates friends both geographically and emotionally. You are a mother bear protecting her cubs against the world. First, your cubs are large enough and strong enough to protect themselves. Second, there is more to your reaction than just taking sides with one friend or another.

You feel cut off by distance and lack of regular contact. You have some jealousy for those able to be together sharing the same space. The hurt, anger, and betrayal have much more depth than this one misunderstanding. These are emotions that you have been hiding just under the surface. They emerge when you feel anything that seems to be like them, or to which you respond with strong negativity. Stop and ask yourself what the underlying feelings are that make you feel hurt or angry. When you go into these feelings you will see they have little to do with this one event.

What was said or believed makes no difference unless you allow it to have energy. Your truth, what you know about your boys, will not change. A person’s truth when things are seen from another angle can differ greatly and yet be about the same observations. You cannot force others to believe what you believe unless they choose to do so. This does not mean that everything about your past relationship must be thrown out and disregarded. Simply agree to disagree while you remember all the good times and what your friend truly means to you.

ANSWER: You are engaged in some of your service work for this lifetime. Your friends intuitively know that they can talk to you when others find it difficult to speak to them or even to be in their presence. For souls to learn their life lessons, they must work through their feelings about those lessons. Until they have spoken out loud about what they are going through, it is not “real” to them. They must be able to discuss the thoughts and energy around their predicament.

There is a very special trait that some souls have chosen: that is to be a witness for others. Witnessing is the process of allowing others to use you to validate for themselves the processes that they are living. A witness does not have to participate in the actual proceeding but just needs to be available to see what the others are experiencing. You are their witness, and this is as positive and helpful as you can get.

In being there for them to vent, you are doing as much as you could if you were right there in the room with them. This is also lesson time for you, because you can get some of the same emotional experiences they are having without going through the diseases. In listening to their anguish you are living their current life.

You have freedom of choice, so you may stop your torment at any time by refusing to continue witnessing their decline. You also would be stopping the lesson you are having of dealing with the anger, helplessness, and frustration that you mirror. Take the pain you are feeling and go into the roots of it. Some early life experiences are firing in the background and you will be able to rid yourself of these unpleasant feelings once and for all.

ANSWER: Your question is not really about him but about you and your insecurities. You have given your husband control over how you see yourself and what you feel. Stop it right now and decide if you want to live your own life or still be controlled. If you are truly going to move and leave your husband, look only to the present and the future and keep the past from holding you back.

If your move includes your husband, then why torture yourself with what might have been? Your insecurities will not lessen if you learn the truth, whether you interpret it as positive or negative. What another says or does cannot hurt you unless you allow it to do so.

Start to be your own person. Do things because you want to do them. In dealing with other people, there can only be a fight if you partake. If someone starts a fight, walk away or refuse to engage in the fracas. The only person you need to satisfy is you. If you do the best you can in a situation, how could you have done any better? Even if others disagree with your opinion, you know the truth—let that knowledge be your security.

Your husband is a very negative person. He does not enjoy being with positive people. Be a positive person by always seeing the good in every event and he will change if it feels good to him, or he will want to be as far away from you as possible. You don’t need to know about the past. Live in the now; visualize a fantastic future.

ANSWER: Management positions deal with coordinating employees for the benefit of the company. A manager must be able to read his people and match them up with their strengths. A person who cannot understand the characteristics and abilities of those under them will be inadequate in that position and incapable of knowing why.

In the beginning, before he has to start making decisions, all seems right within his world. When it is up to him to direct his employees, his default reasoning is controlled by his OCD, which does not take into consideration individuals’ aptitudes and sees only in degrees of black and white.

He doesn’t need to develop empathy but does need to start feeling. Until he can understand the rationale behind the behavior of others, nothing will ever appear to be right with him.

He came down to see if he could ever put himself into the place of another to understand how many ways there are to consider things. He has never accomplished that but has simply developed his own way of living without emotional interaction and being totally rigid within the confines of his OCD.

He functions well with animals because he allows himself to identify with their needs for love and dependency. They pose no threat to him, his impression of himself, or the security of his job. Since people can speak up and criticize his performance, they are always able to undermine his position.

If he wants to complete this lesson, he needs to be more aware of interpersonal relations through using feelings. Otherwise, looking into another type of work will be necessary for long-term employment.

ANSWER: It is impossible to make others mirror the feelings you have for them unless they are wholeheartedly in agreement with your sensations. Why did it hurt you that he did not have the same feelings for you? You were disappointed because he did not live up to your expectations? That is a bit selfish and controlling of you. What if it had been the other way around and he wanted you but your feelings for him were just not there? Would you like it if he tried to force you as you attempted to do to him?

You are acting just like a spoiled child who is throwing a tantrum because it didn’t get its way. If you had been on the receiving end of the nastiness you placed on him, you too would have cut off all contact and said, “Good riddance, and never darken my door again.”

He absolutely cannot stand you at this time and feels very sorry for you for resorting to juvenile behavior. He does not wish to see you again in this lifetime. Get over it and move on. If you are angry at anyone, be angry at yourself for trying to force him to love you when he couldn’t. He is very happy in a sharing partnership.

From the beginning of your next connection, be totally honest about your desires. Look upon it as a sharing relationship and not your own little playground. Honor your mate’s wishes and not just your own.

ANSWER: If you are asking for permission to have an affair on your partner, we will not make the decision for you. You have freedom of choice as to how you live your life. You would not be asking this question if the situation did not trouble you. It is time to be honest with yourself.

For a long time it has bothered you that your partner does not share the same interests, e.g., partying, that occupy a large percentage of your free time. He has never denied your right to do it, and has not tried to control you in any way. Your feelings for this new friend have a lot to do with the camaraderie of sharing drinks and gaming. When it comes to the daily activities, housework, cooking, laundry, your partner is always the one to be there and to do more than his share.

Is it a playmate that you are looking for, or are you considering changing mates? If it is just a playmate, and you do still love your partner, talk out the situation with him. Your partner is very intuitive and is aware of your turmoil, although not the whole cause for it. He knows that you have needs he does not wish to fulfill; he wants only the best for you.

If, in your soul searching, you find that you have outgrown the companionship of your partner and need to move on, in fairness to him talk that out with him as well. If you leave things as they are you are taking advantage of your partner. Let him know your problems and help you make your choice—he deserves that from you.

ANSWER: You need to be loved. You don’t care about or love yourself enough to be happy so you seek satisfaction elsewhere. It is easy to love from a distance. When you are not constantly confronted by a partner, only the positive aspects, the times you can be together, are remembered. You are a toy for this man. You are there waiting when he chooses to look your way.

Stop subjecting yourself to this abuse. You are a puppet on a string, a puppy who comes whenever called because you want the treat he is dangling: a period of physical attention and love. It is fleeting and then he is off to his “regular” life and you are sent home to your dog house to wait for the next time you are summoned.

You like safety, and he can be the love of your life because he is bigger than life in your imagination and dreams without making outrageous demands of you or your time. He will never leave his family. He uses you but feels all right about it because you don’t complain and always come back. Stop kidding yourself; it will never be anything more than it is right now. You deserve much more than this. Why do you leave yourself tied up to him and out of the market for a normal, sharing relationship?

Take back your power, the power to create a relationship that will include a full-time boyfriend who loves you unconditionally, not just when it is convenient for him. You are in love with the idea of love but you have not really experienced it. Love is not part time or conditional. Love yourself, know there is much more out there for you, and move on.

A. Put your fears away. During the time that you have been together with your fiancé you have been very open with him about your beliefs and desires—as he has been with you. In your past experiences with men you would say or do anything that you thought was needed to get your date to like you. You were never true to yourself and your feelings. You are now in a relationship based upon truth: the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Your fiancé knows the true you. He was not blindfolded or handicapped when he got to know you and made a decision about his love for you. You are what he wants, so don’t sabotage that budding relationship by selling yourself short. The same self doubt that made you lie to previous men is rearing its ugly head trying to give you doubts about your worth.

He has placed you upon a pedestal because, in his mind, there is no one else for him but you. You are the trophy he desires. Continue to be truthful, to believe in yourself, and you will not disappoint him. Enjoy your married life.

A: Your fiancé lacks confidence in himself and in the way he deals with others. He judges all in view of his sexual prowess and the way he can control you and get you to do anything that he wants. He feels powerless in the outside world, but in your home he is the acknowledged King making all the demands.

When he is in the throes of sexual release, the pleasure he experiences blots out all the fear and discomfort that exists for him the rest of the time. Who would not choose to be in control and satisfied too? He is incapable of going a whole day without using bliss to banish his ghosts. The more sex, the less he has to be confronted by the reality of his life.

You have chosen to learn this lesson to see how you can be consumed by another and not be able to make any of your own choices. If you do not take back your decision-making power you will remain a slave in this current situation. Because your fiancé will not allow himself to see why he wants to always be engaged in sex rather than experiencing life’s other learning possibilities, the only way change can occur in this circumstance is for you to make it.

Your choices are: to go along with the current state of affairs; to confront him and tell him to get help so that he understands why he hides behind sexual pleasure; to take back your power and refuse his demands unless he spends time talking and sharing with you; or to realize that you are not in a normal relationship, and that to be in one you will have to move on.  

ANSWER: This man is a manipulator, a liar, and a cheat. He is very charming and can seem to be devoted to someone—the one he is with at that moment. Since he left eleven years ago he has had a steady stream of women in and out his door. He loves variety and diversity so he maintained contact with you for that reason. Your holidays together were a no-commitment—on his part—way to sustain multiple relationships. You are not the only one he has such an arrangement with.

The years between 2006 and today were filled with other women. Some have caught on to his supposed commitment to a single partner and have told him to be gone and not try to trick them anymore. He has come back to you because he is aware that you are unfamiliar with his activities in the intervening years. He has a very high level of sexual need. He satisfies this with the use of multiple partners. He has contacted you again to replace those women who have left him.

You have done this with him in a past life. He was the same type of scoundrel then as he is now. He ran off when a child would have caused a commitment. Your unfinished business in this lifetime is to see what he really is and stop trying to imagine him to be loving and caring toward you. He does not want to marry you and definitely does not want to have a child with you.

He sees you as a love object to play with. There are no right or wrong actions in your soul’s journey, so you have freedom of choice as to your next move. You may play his game, but please consider honoring yourself. Stop the cycle of use and abuse that this relationship has been and go on with your own life.

ANSWER: You are desperate to have a romantic relationship. In the beginning of all your connections with men, you let them treat you any way they want because you feel that is necessary to get them to stay around. You have an intense need to be needed. You do not love yourself or value yourself. The fact that someone can be nice to you ten percent of the time does not make for a good relationship. Demand a companion who shares and cares one hundred percent.

Your fear of relationship comes from being placed into a situation where you were someone’s toy, or even punching bag – all for the minimal amount of attention it brought to you. It is time to accept the fact that inside you are a beautiful soul deserving of love and care. The next step is to demand this before you allow another man into your life.

Create a series of affirmations of how you see your life developing in the near future. Affirm to yourself that you are the one in power over who comes into your life. Affirm that you deserve to be treated as the magnificent soul that you are. Affirm that you will not permit yourself to have any negative thoughts about allowing another to control you just to get a little romance. Take back your power and create a new you and a new world to play in.

ANSWER: You have intimidated the poor man and he is frightened of your intent and what you might demand of him. His initial interest was just in learning who the new employee was – nothing more. He feels your intensity and he wants nothing to do with it; that is why he never stays in the same area with you.

In the meantime, you have built up a fantasy about your relationship. You are not soul mates and have never spent previous lives together. Sometimes someone just tickles your fancy so much you create a world that does not exist – this is what you have been doing.

He seems safe and wonderful to you because you have never spent any time together so you can’t see that he is not compatible with you. Your dreams are like the ones envisioned around a handsome famous person whom you feel you just have to make yours. Stop wasting time on a person who is not interested.

This is different from prior love experiences because it has been all one-sided. You are a slave to your imagined expectations of a partnership. It is time to take a good look at the way you have been behaving and understand that a relationship takes two actively participating individuals.

ANSWER: The situation between your friend and her ex is a lesson they are sharing. It is not simple but has a number of different layers. He is, first and foremost, a very jealous person. He has tried to control every aspect of your friend’s life. He is very observant and didn’t need to be told about your feelings—he could sense them from things that were said and left unsaid.

These two are not soul mates or twin flames. He is learning all about control and she about discernment and not releasing her power to another. She has self-esteem issues that he uses to belittle her into doing what he wants. Even though they are no longer together he still influences her from afar. These are lessons that only she can resolve.

You may assist her by helping her examine her feelings about herself and why she so easily defers to others. She does not want to take responsibility for her decisions so she lets others make all the choices for her. Help her to love and value herself and see there is freedom of choice at every stage of life and that she can only learn if she steps up and makes those decisions herself.

He, on the other hand, is a very fearful person. He continually makes threats, particularly to females, but will not follow through with anything physical. He cannot stand confrontation if someone else is the aggressor. He can only have control over you and your friend if you allow it.

ANSWER: You are very desperate for adult communication and a male, who is not abusive or demeaning, who will pay attention to you. You have always had a dream of a family where you are treated like a queen with respect and understanding. Your friend is able to sympathize with you and your past experiences because he has experienced some of the same interactions with his ex-spouse. The reason he seems so loving and caring is that he is the first man who has not tried to dominate you, and he wilts in the presence of conflict so he goes overboard to make things comfortable.

He is incapable of domination because he lives in fear, even to the point that he creates the belief that in his life he is surrounded with those who are persecuting him. This is the cause of his depression. You are correct that he has no self-esteem, and his constant analyzing, anticipation, and expectations keep him constantly afraid he will do something wrong or cause him to be controlled and punished by someone.

What you sense from him is his desperation to have a loving relationship, and that need appeals to your mothering instincts to take him in and nurture him. This would be equivalent to taking a wounded wild animal into your home, one so needy it tolerates human contact. Once it recovers sufficiently it will fear the confines of your house and strike out at you.

You must examine every aspect of this friendship. You must be honest with yourself about your physical needs for companionship blinding you to the hazards of this situation.

ANSWER: Our direct answer to your question about soul group interaction is that you decided how many or how few dealings you were going to have with others before you incarnated. Your choice was to spend quite a bit of time unaffected by your group energy so that you might sense your individual essence apart from the group dynamic. This was part of your spiritual growth process.

Your daughter is a member of your soul group and is here to help with and witness the next phase of your discovery. You are already beginning to make distinctions between physical love and universal unconditional love. The love you have for your husband is on a physical level, while the love for your daughter spans the dimensions back to Source. Your husband is not ready to reach that far out of himself to join the two of you.

You have never been truly alone during your life, but those who accompanied you were non-physical and you were not ready to detect them. You have planned for others from your group to enter your lives in the future. Just be open to the essence of those whom you meet. It is also possible that your husband may advance to the point of being able to bridge that gap into unconditional love as well, and then, although he is not a soul mate, you will be able to share the ultimate love energy with him.

ANSWER: Your mother did not start out hating you. She is as much offended by the fact that you never shared your orientation with her as she is that you are homosexual. At one point in your life she would have sat down with you and listened to your reasoning and feelings, but now she feels you have so little respect for her that you let others know but not her. It hurts to keep secrets.

You did have a plan to teach your mother about various types of love. It is difficult to ever get near to unconditional love on Earth because people always put restrictions on what they will tolerate from another person. She has trouble with any kind of love because she never experienced it growing up. Both of you lack any amount of self-love at all.

Those who do not love themselves, at least for the courage it took to decide to come to Earth and live through all kinds of lessons and tragedies they chose before coming, cannot possibly love others with any degree of intensity. In other words, you can love another only to the extent that you love yourself.

Your problems with lack of self-confidence and submissiveness are lessons. You need to accept that you are a piece of the Source energy and have all the strength and abilities of Source. To be submissive is to give your decision making over to others, telling them they know better what is right for you than you do. You are just as good as any other soul and can make choices for yourself if you allow yourself to make them.

Right now you are in a victim mode, saying “poor me, everyone is against me and no one likes me.” You are bringing additional negative energy to yourself by thinking and acting in this manner. Stand up for yourself. Know what you want to do and then do it without listening to anyone else.

You create your own reality by bringing into your world only those things that will serve your purpose. Stop letting the world tell you who you are. You know; you are just afraid to stand up and claim your life.

ANSWER: Why do you think you have to love them? Just because you have heard others love their relatives? You have no obligations toward them, nor they to you. Do you love every person that you have knowledge of in the world? Marriage does not convey love for relatives with the ceremony. It is a contract between the two spouses only.

Children of their age reflect what they are being told at home. Your husband’s family think you are not good enough for him and have nothing to contribute to the family. Therefore, they have instilled in the children that you are just something associated with their uncle, much like his work associates. Things will not change unless the children decide on their own that you are someone with whom they choose to share their lives.

You should not consider the actions of these people as any reflection on who you are as a person. Send them love and find someone else who needs your personal touch in their lives. Honor the fact that this branch of your extended family does not share your desires for connection and let them be.

If you crave having a close connection with more people, do volunteer work with needy people, seniors, sick and abused children, and those praying for human compassion. A person doesn’t have to be societally connected to you to become “family.”

ANSWER: Having a human sexual relationship does not require you to be with a soul mate. Most of one’s experiences in each lifetime are with non-soul mates. There are billions of souls, and only about 144 of them are from your soul group. You have not met, in a love relationship, any of your soul group; nor is that necessary to accomplish what you think you desire in this life.

Part of your question relates to a fantasy that you see yourself living. It is against almost all societal ethics. That does not mean that it cannot occur if you find consenting adults. In a spiritual journey, nothing is considered to be right or wrong but merely undertaken for the experience.

Because of the way people are raised, getting most of their beliefs about behavior from their parents, teachers, religions, and society, you will have difficulty finding someone who believes as you do. Ask yourself: If you found yourself intensely loving someone, would you be open to their taking other partners?

Not only can you not be sure if you loved that woman, because you can love another only to the extent that you love yourself, but also, you do not know what either love or self-love is. You think that having many sexual partners, your definition of love, will let you feel more love in all realms of your life. Simply, it will not. It will just leave you more confused and yearning.

You say this is all about lessons, while you ignore your primary chosen lesson of understanding human and spiritually unconditional love. Find out why you are so dissatisfied with your life. When you feel total love of this journey you are on and every aspect of it (which is complete love of self), then you will see repeated sexual experiences have nothing to do with feeling love and being loved.

ANSWER: This relationship is special to you because you feel so needed. Your boyfriend is a very troubled individual who refuses to acknowledge the problems in which he finds himself involved. He will not take responsibility for his own actions but blames everyone else for what is happening. The web is of his own making.

The only way you can assist him is to try to get him to see what he is doing to himself. You do know that all the decisions are up to him. You cannot make him see anything that he will not open up his eyes to perceive. In this situation you are more just a witness validating his experiences for him then anything else.

You have on many occasions considered walking away, and that is a freedom of choice decision. You must consider what impact this situation is having on your growth and physical well-being. You must honor yourself, including analyzing what you could learn if you stayed and the lessons brought to you if you left.

ANSWER: You and your mother have a very difficult contractual relationship. This is not the first lifetime that you have shared. In each one you have had cantankerous relationships. In the last life she cheated you out of your rightful money, and in the one before that you stole her farm out from under her. In this lifetime all the emotions still firing from past lives are affecting this one.

You are very alike in mannerisms, wants, desires, and also the need for revenge. At Home you are the best of friends and when you decide to come down to Earth at the same time you choose to make your most difficult lessons with each other.

For this lifetime you desired to learn about being able to discern your own feelings from those generated by others. To start to learn this lesson it is necessary to get to know yourself and what your essence (your unconditionally loving soul) feels like. Until you can interact with another and not get base feelings of guilt, fear, hate, and loathing you have not touched your own essence.

You cannot be affected by another’s actions or thoughts unless you accept the things they say to be valid. If you know who you are, and that you are a perfect magnificent soul, what others say will have no effect upon you. The same is true about your mother. She will not be affected by what you say unless she believes that what you say is true.

At a soul level you and your mother are identical-you are both fantastic, loving souls. Be ready to be that person for your mother here on Earth, and see if you can trigger the same response in her. If she cannot accept her true self at this time, then at least you can let go of the energy the past has stirred in you and be ready for a time when she too remembers who she really is.

ANSWER: You are no longer a teenager who is pulled into relationships via hormones, pheromones, and sexual lust. The entirety of the person now impacts your decision. If something besides sex, such as a sharing of hobbies, work ethic, or ideology is the driving force behind such a connection, then that is the primary moving force that begins the relationship. Sex is always nice, but not necessary if you connect on so many other levels.

There are no specific rules for a deep attraction to take place. There is no step-by-step process to making a kinship work out for the parties. Stop putting so much thought into this fun, enjoyable time for you. Don’t put obstacles in your way. Just sit back and let your mutual friendship grow into whatever it is meant to be.

When you analyze a situation, you almost automatically start judging things. Then you start a comparison between this association and what you experienced in the past. That is being unfair both to you and the new beau. Every soul, every human, is different. Embrace the differences and explore them.

Energies are never static—they shift constantly. Your reality or interpretation of what you are feeling also shifts frequently. Go into your feelings and let them tell you what this union is all about. Don’t try to structure it; enjoy it.

ANSWER: There is no absolute guarantee that souls will experience a “love of their life” in any particular lifetime. One of your life lessons has been to deal with a number of phases of love. You have seen – and rejected – marital love, excelled in familial love, and found the difficulties of tainted love.

You have delved into each type of love, worked with it, and decided what felt good to you and what was a waste of your time. Your marriage did not meet the standards you envisioned for true love, so you moved on. Your children’s love was of the highest order and you cherished their interactions with you.

When your lover appeared on the scene it was a carefree love for him, because he knew he did not intend to make it anything permanent. He played with you for his own gratification. Once you found you were not his first choice, you came out of the shadows he had made for you. You felt that type of love with no demands, and it was so different from your previous experiences that you really wanted it to last, regardless of the insincerity of the giver.

What you have felt is free love; it is not a “love of your life” sharing, totally involved, unconditional love. You want it to be more, but clinging to this experience will keep you away from new opportunities to find other types of love. He only loved the way he could control you because you sought love so severely. Learn to love yourself so that you are the center of the relationship and not just drifting along on the outside.

ANSWER: You find yourself in a situation of mixed signals being sent back and forth over the World Wide Web. While you were trolling for a serious hookup, the young lady was just out to have some anonymous fun. She also wanted to see how far she could go with you. For you it was reality; for her it was an imaginary world. She was telling you what she thought you wanted to hear so that you would continue the contact.

When you receive positive reinforcement of all your hopes and dreams from a person, that person begins to feel like your twin flame. Unfortunately, if she is just playing a role, you are sensing the part she is playing and not her true essence. The identity of your email friend is not what you have been led to believe. She is not your twin flame or even a soul mate of yours.

When you indicated to her that you had strong feelings for her, it came as a shock to her because she was just out to have some fun. She has a number of guys whom she is stringing along online with romantic insinuations. It was all just a game to her. You, on the other hand, saw it as real and created certain expectations based upon her representations. These images you created, when unfulfilled, caused an emptiness to appear within you.

At the present time she is scared. Your intensity is beyond anything she has been faced with before and she is unable to figure out what to do. Her response has been to ignore that you even exist. As of this time, she does not intend to re-establish contact with you.

ANSWER: Your lover is not the reincarnation of your father. However, he did meet your father’s soul when both were at Home before he came down. He confirmed for your father’s curiosity that he and you had made a contract before you were born for him to be available for a romantic relationship when the two of you were ready.

You have been waiting a long time for your boyfriend to come into your life. The seven years’ difference in age necessitated this wait for him to be ready. You should not concern yourself with this age variance. Both you and he are from the same soul group and you have been together in a number of past lives. This is what accounts for the familiarity that the two of you feel, not your belief that he could be your father reincarnated.

The more you fixate on that idea, the more it takes you away from the love that the two of you share. You must ask yourself if the love you feel for your boyfriend is true romantic love, or if it has become a familial love for a father on which you were never able to lavish daughterly affection. Accept that your boyfriend loves you as his lover, not as his daughter.

You are the one who is uncomfortable with the age difference; it does not bother him. Accept that your love is shared, and that is all that need concern you. Enjoy this magnificent man for who he is, not for who you wish he might be.

ANSWER: Souls come into body to be able to experience a number of different feelings and lessons. Romantic love, the love shared between two human beings, can only be felt with the nervous system of the physical body. Souls cannot feel a romantic type of love. However, they can certainly detect an all-consuming unconditional love, like that of which they are composed of when in energetic form.

Some souls come down with a lesson of experiencing all aspects of physical romantic love. The ups and downs of the emotions, the give and take between two people who may be totally different, the sense of abandonment or betrayal that is strongest when associated with romantic love: these can only be felt with a human body.

Society tells everyone that the family is the most important aspect of life. This provides more people in the form of children and creates less discord created by love triangles, stalking, and jealousies. Society is ego-driven and judges right or wrong, and compliance with everyone else in the group. Love for another human is encouraged and accepted. Love for oneself is considered narcissistic and selfish.

On the spiritual soul level, after the lessons are completed, the soul finds its path back to Home by following the unconditional love that is contained within. But even before that, souls can truly love another only to the extent that they love themselves. Without a sense of self-love, the person has no idea what love feels like, and therefore cannot understand love for someone else.

Therefore, each soul needs to have a combination of spiritual unconditional love and romantic love to experience incarnate life to the fullest.

ANSWER: Romantic love serves the purpose of enabling souls to have life lessons involving a relationship with another soul. It is distinguished from Source love in that it is rarely unconditional and is measured by the thinking process and the emotional reactions it generates. The romantic love between two people always comes with conditions, such as exclusivity of partners, personal habits exhibited in the marital home, sometimes even religious beliefs. Unconditional universal, or Source, love is 100% positive acceptance of the way things are.

Romance involves living with another, both parties’ belief systems, and the contracts made between them before coming to Earth. Woven into the fabric of the relationship are lessons such as control, betrayal, abandonment, trust, and all the characteristics defining oneself: self-love, self-confidence, self-worth, etc.

The human heart is not the only place in the physical where love is felt. The heart is a mechanical organ that pushes blood through the body, nothing more. It is more romanticized in speech than involved in love: heartbreak, heart-felt, it warms my heart.

The love a mother has for her newborn is all one way—from her to the child. She does not get any reciprocal feelings from the child. Also, a mother’s love for her child usually starts out as unconditional, but if the growing child does not meet the mother’s expectations, the love is no longer unconditional.

You can only love another to the degree and extent that you love yourself, so even in the presence of Source love, if you don’t love yourself as a creation of Source, you cannot feel Source love. In romantic situations you will be able to love your partner more when you love yourself more. So the degree you feel romantic or Source love depends on you.

ANSWER: There is no such thing as one soul being created for another soul. All souls are alike, and frequently a soul will ask another to enter into a relationship once on Earth so they might learn from the circumstances. You had determined you wanted to spend a life studying all aspects of love, the first of which is understanding love. You are still searching for that knowledge.

Your wife came along, as she had agreed, and in your search for love she seemed a good candidate to assist you in your studies. She was pleasant enough and, you thought, compatible enough for you to make a life together. You assumed marriage equals love – not so. There is also nothing karmic here because karma does not exist; there simply is no punishment for working through your chosen life lessons.

The only part of your ego interfering with a solution to your situation is the judging of right and wrong. Spiritual evolution or awakening comes through evaluating whether your current actions are allowing you to understand and move forward. What has happened is neither right nor wrong from that perspective.

Both of you had chosen to deal with being honest with your spouse and maintaining your own power in life. Accepting that the current arrangement is hindering rather than assisting you with your lessons shows you a change will help. Both of you have taught each other things you wished to experience, but little remains of this relationship but dealing with conflict.

Realizing your personal decisions and what has occurred because of them, you can create a different future by your choices going forward. You need to explore “love” in other places, such as in yourself. See if you can love being able to make choices that enrich your life. Love that you have accomplished finding respect of self in your life. You won’t have to repeat anything you understand.

ANSWER: Your life lessons of lacking self-confidence and accepting without question whatever is said to you are at the root of your personal difficulties. You are hyper-sensitive to what is happening around you, even if it has nothing to do with you. You think people are talking about you all the time and imagine what you think they are saying against you, even when they are not saying anything about you.

The truth is most of the other employees talk about you only when they know they can upset you – it is like a game to them. These people can truly upset you only if you let them. If you do not pay any attention to what they are saying they will give up because it is no fun when they do not get a reaction from you.

What you call human politics is nothing more than the interaction between persons occupying the same space. When asked for your opinion on something, you hesitate, not wanting to make yourself vulnerable to criticism, because you feel you are constantly being judged. That is not the case. Some of your fellow employees believe you have something to offer and are just trying to get you to participate.

You can change the way you sense things in the workplace if you understand who you are and what your strengths are. Isolate yourself from others and see how comfortable that makes you feel. Then take that sense of comfort and open yourself to the interaction with others. When you feel a thing is right for you, don’t let anyone change your mind.

The only other possible situation for you would be one in which you work alone, with no contact with people. This would be very lonely and would prevent you from learning about yourself and the meaning behind your life lessons. The choice is up to you.

ANSWER: Your difficulties do stem from the way you feel about yourself. Your feeling of being unworthy of other people’s trust and attention, your low self-image, and your lack of confidence all prevent you from being able to fit in with others around you.

Once you have established a connection with someone, you shift all the focus onto them to maintain the association. You feel once you have joined some group, it is up to them to make the next move. It is almost like when you went to school, you got yourself there but then left all decisions and directions up to the teacher and took no responsibility whatsoever for bolstering or enhancing the experience.

When you sit idly by and expect your newly acquainted friends to initiate all further contact, they get the idea you don’t really want to know them and be friends with them because you have nothing to contribute to the union. You must be proactive. You have to call them and plan to go for coffee or a stroll.

You and those you come in contact with are all the same. All souls broke off from Source energy and have the same powers and abilities. One of those is total freedom of choice. In your case, the choices involve how you wish to interact with others.

You need to start with seeing yourself as a magnificent piece of Source. You have had previous experiences that you can share with others, but it all starts with loving yourself for everything you have been able to endure. When you step back and get out of the fear that you have drawn to yourself, choose to embrace happiness in being free to join with others. Get rid of all the negative expectations of failure to which you have been clinging.

ANSWER: We are sure it comes as no surprise that your major lesson involves all aspects of rejection. You are constantly on high alert for the feeling of rejection, both directly and from your own expectations. All souls, in order to grow, must learn to love themselves. As long as you continue to reject yourself and your life, you will never achieve understanding and self-love.

Seeking approval is saying to the world that they know more about you than even you do. You give them the power to make decisions for you as to how you should feel and react, yet you get angry when they comply with your wishes. It is hard to have respect for someone who thinks so little of themselves. You are telling them it is what you expect, so they comply.

Going into your dreams is running away from seeing how you may deal with these lessons. Your ego keeps you firmly in the middle of judgment where you demand, as do all egos, that things be constantly graded, rated, rejected, and judged. To break this cycle you are in, step away from judgment and begin evaluating whether you truly wish to have an association with those around you.

You don’t think you are worthy of being in the popular group so you hold yourself away from them. Envision yourself as part of any group of which you desire to be a part. That will allow you to take back your power to decide who will be your friends without any aspect of rejection. Release the need to be rejected. We know that sounds strange, but when you anticipate rejection is around every corner, you manifest it into your life.

ANSWER: Your husband is a very sexually needy person. He cannot stop himself from chasing after women. He does not want to tell you that he will be faithful when he knows he is unable to do that, which resulted in his decision to leave you and the children in the first place. He has some feelings for you just as you do for him; however, though yours are exclusive, his are not. He is making his choices just as you are yours.

You have done well working on your life lessons. You accepted that your husband’s actions had nothing to do with you, so you were able to forgive him for betraying you without assigning any guilt to yourself. You know how strong you are and that you have freedom of choice in all things. You need to continue to honor your own power. Do not give it away to anyone in exchange for promises that might be made.

He will continue to be in your life because he is the father of your children. He doesn’t want anything tying him down right now. He may change his mind in the future, but for now there is no chance he will seek to get back together with you. Go on with your own life. You can search for someone who will treat you with respect. Maybe you will find someone with whom you can share your dreams and life. Don’t hold onto memories that may never be repeated.

ANSWER: Your current situation presents three distinct issues to you. First is your need to please others. This comes from relying on your elders as you grew up. People are always wanting others to listen to them and do what they say. It is time to realize that others have no idea what is the best thing for you because they are not living your life. Take responsibility for your own decisions and ignore what anyone else has to say.

Your second problem is not allowing yourself to accept your inner feelings. What comes from inside you is the real you. All those thoughts that you argue about in your head are repeating what has been told to you by others and may not resonate with your energy. Feelings are yours alone; following them permits you to love yourself and what you are doing.

Thirdly, you have convinced yourself that financial security is more important than love. This is a societal belief and has no factual basis. Haven’t you ever seen those who have all the money they could possibly use and yet are unhappy because they have no friends and do nothing but seek after money?

Security itself is an illusion. Having all you want does not ensure that you will be able to maintain that state forever. Financial markets fail, nature destroys your property, loved ones pass over without leaving many assets, and what you thought was giving you security ceases to exist.

As a loving, knowing, magnificent soul, you have all the knowledge to decide what you need in this life to have the experiences you chose. Be concerned only with the moment. The past is gone and the future hasn’t come yet. If you spend too much time worrying about, or planning, your future, you will miss living the present.

The physical age of a body does not give you an indication of the age and experience of the soul. Let your feelings tell you what you share with a potential partner.

ANSWER: All souls have total freedom of choice to choose the situations that create their human experience. Each of you is dealing with your chosen life lessons in different ways. Some of these interconnected activities were discussed before coming to Earth, but just in the way they would allow one to learn something to increase wisdom.

You needed to have a life of examining the various aspects and types of physical love – to see what was for show to other humans and what was fulfilling the soul’s desire for using the physical body’s nervous, skeletal-muscular, emotional, and mental abilities. Outside of the physical body’s animalistic urges to experience orgasms is the psychological and emotional impact these activities with various people have on the one sharing multiple experiences.

Your husband has found many other physical activities that allow him to feel in charge of his area of the world. He wants to preserve the image of having a loving, obedient wife at his beck and call, taking care of him and his wants. He doesn’t want you to leave him, so the fact that your lover is married makes him feel safe in maintaining his “happy home” for the entire world to see. For him it is all about control and the perception he feels the world has of him and his strengths.

Your lover is a soul mate you are assisting to make decisions about his life. You are, however, also facilitating him in not facing the challenges of his home life. He is being forced into remaining with his wife because she desires it. He has a lack of self-esteem and self-worth. You are a safe harbor for him where he feels cherished and appreciated. He does not want to leave his wife because he would then have to take full responsibility for that decision. If things stay as they are, the womenfolk – you and the wife – make all the decisions and he is free to go along for the ride.

What happens in the future is up to each of you and the decisions you choose. Nothing is right or wrong in the realm of spiritual learning. The choices are all up to you.

ANSWER: Romantic love is an all-encompassing physical body involvement. The human body is engaged not only with the nervous system responses to the act, but also the emotions (mentally and physiologically), the egoic mental thought capabilities, and the spiritual-energetic layer are all reacting to the union. The body, mind, and spirit are constantly judging the performance of the joining. If the person is not totally available to concentrate on the desired end result, the fireworks do not go off.

When a body is in prime condition, the emotions are somewhat governed by the release of hormones within the body, mostly in an unconscious manner. Menopause shuts down the endocrine system, and the physical body has to work harder to produce stimulation that automatically flowed before.

It is not a hopeless ending but something that has to be recreated physically. Once the body “remembers” what it once experienced, it is possible to recapture that euphoria. It is like riding a bicycle – once learned, it is always possible. How you perform and think about the action is another thing entirely.

Your platonic companion is not preventing you from finding another relationship unless you allow that companionship to be all that you believe you deserve. You have to engage your creativity to manifest a lover. Believe you deserve one, visualize in what manner he will appear, then make yourself available to meet him.

There is not just one person out there who may provide for your physical needs. Most lovers are not soul mates but souls who have the same desires and needs as you. There is no such thing as karma, which implies a judgment or punishment. Each soul creates its own reality and has total freedom of choice in what it brings into its life. Past lives are not a consideration in your current life.

ANSWER: Stop dreaming. You are lonely and feel you need to have a partner and your friend looks like a candidate. Your friend is just that—a friend. All your “feelings” in this case are wishful thinking. Romance is the default situation with all souls in physical bodies. You feel cheated that you are not in a relationship. You are envisioning yourself with all the possibilities including this friend whom you know so well and with whom you feel comfortable. That makes dreaming seem safe with a lower chance of rejection.

Unless feelings are expressed, it is impossible for either of you to understand what the unstated sensations between you mean. Things are not in any position for you and your friend to enter a romantic relationship. Once you thought there might be some feelings coming from that direction, your intense longing for a partner turned your interest into an obsession.

If you feel you need a relationship so desperately, send out a clear message to the universe with a description of the ideal companion. You will be able to manifest an appearance in your life by your clear signals. You doubt your own abilities to bring someone special into your life. You are a magnificent, all-powerful soul; start having your desires read and responded to by being very clear in your intentions.

ANSWER: You do not know what true unconditional love feels like, and you continue to search. It is rare to find this love in a human relationship based on human beliefs alone. Your search for that fulfillment should be inside rather than outside. Until you experience a true unconditional love of self, you will not be able to love another.

Intimacy, as you are seeking, is a human sensation of being on top of the world. You have to love yourself for these feelings to appear. You can have as many experiences as you want and never get to what you are seeking until you love yourself. A connection is built on trust and sharing. Something transitory will not give you that permanence. You must ask yourself exactly what it is that you want.

Your husband is a very good person. He is not exciting or that romantic anymore, but have you discussed it with him? He loves you the best he can but you don’t even know that. Before you throw away 25 years, take an inventory of the potential of what you have. Open a dialogue with him.

ANSWER: Every soul who is in a human body can feel the energy of those with whom they come in contact. This is generally not a conscious knowing but rather a yearning or pulling toward another, particularly to those souls with whom they have shared previous lives.

Most people feel that, when they come to Earth, there is one and only one person of the opposite sex for them. This is not true. Sometimes it is not even a person of the opposing sex but of the same sex. People can grow apart if they do not grow spiritually at the same rate during a marriage.

Your wife loves you, but she also has affection for this other man. Just as a father can have love for each of his children at the same time, an adult can have a love for more than one. You and your wife had grown away from each other in the period before she found this man.

The future is up to the two of you. There is no right or wrong answer. There is nothing which says you have to stay with your wife, or she has to stay with you, or she has to go to this other person. You each have the freedom to choose which feels best to you. Do not stay together to try to make something work if you can see that it isn’t going to. Talk it out; let her know your feelings.

You have no obligation to leave to make her happy. You have to honor yourself. Do, or try to do, what you feel is right. But be able to accept when something is not working out and it is time to move on to something else. Love yourself enough to step back and look at all sides of the situation without emotion.

ANSWER: Whenever you enter a relationship and do everything you think the other person wants you to do – in other words, love them completely without conditions so that they will love you as you want to be loved – you are kidding yourself that anything positive will come of the union. This is your imagination trying to create what isn’t there and somehow force the other person to become who they are not – someone you have imagined.

If you want to have a beautiful romantic connection, never spend time on anyone who is not open and forthright in all your conversations. Many people like to manipulate you by telling you what you want them to and holding back their inner desires and the fact that you are merely a new conquest for them.

This man was a master manipulator who was having fun dragging you along for his own pleasure. He was totally unconcerned about your wishes or dreams. He only cared about being able to use you, and you allowed this by not getting out of your dreaming state and demanding answers because you are so desperate for love.

Following a spiritual path only means that you are living the lessons you sought and trying to understand what they mean and how to avoid the same situation again. The main part of your lesson here is to always be in the moment and aware of what is going on, not dreaming about what you want things to be and ignoring the facts you see and feel. In the moment, you would have broken off the contact immediately when he would not open up to you.

ANSWER: Your mother is a fearful, tyrannical, very confused lady. She was always babied by her family and when married was forced to assume responsibility for the first time. She longs for the carefree days of being coddled by her sisters. You represent that responsibility she does not want to assume. She figures if she is nasty enough to you, she will be able to get you to cower from her while still being her slave.

Your enlightenment has caused you to realize these are life lessons both of you are working on, and holding back your negative urges shows you have learned the fruitlessness of the lesson of retaliation. She is not on a path of growth, and until she chooses to go in that direction you will never get the respect and trust you seek from her.

She is looking “over the fence” into her sisters’ yards and seeing the way life was, and that consumes her desires. All you can do is suggest she ask her sisters if she can go and live with them, or else she is going to have to change her attitude toward you.

She is your mother in the physical sense, but on a spiritual basis she is just another soul on a journey that parallels your path. You have societal beliefs as to how you should treat her, but spiritually you may sever all ties if you desire. The biggest lesson you have in this situation is realization of your freedom of choice to decide your own future. You have been patterned with belief systems from society, your family, and religion, but you have the ability to pick and choose which rules and regulations you want to control your life.

ANSWER: What you need above all else is to love yourself and have confidence in the decisions you choose. Everything in the universe is energy and energy is everything. If you don’t love yourself you put out a message in your energy that you do not think you are good enough to do what you want to do. If you have doubts about your abilities you put that out in your energy. You need to start thinking only positive thoughts so that your energy turns into positive projections.

Getting in contact with your guides will provide you some suggestions, but the guides are not allowed to make decisions for you; they can only advise. You are too occupied with thinking about what you do not have instead of starting to manifest what you want. Anytime you think you cannot get your girlfriend to love you, you are broadcasting that you cannot. See yourself, exactly as you are now, in a firm relationship with her. This is loving and having faith in yourself.

There may be certain personal characteristics you currently have that you would like to change. Do not “hate” them, because that means you hate yourself and cannot possibly love yourself. Love everything about yourself, and then love changing those things that are not just right for you into things that are perfect for you. Take total responsibility for what is happening in your life.

Take baby steps to change the world you have now for a positive loving one. Banish any negativity as soon as it pops up. Replace those thoughts with positive ones and your world will change swiftly as you modify your attitude toward it.

A. You chose the experiences that you wished to have when you incarnated on Earth. You also chose the lessons that you wished to learn. You have chosen to experience what being controlled feels like, as well as the various aspects of self identity and self worth.

During the early years of your life you were not singled out by anyone as special or subject to familial love. When your boyfriend became so attentive to you it filled a void that had existed. You began to experience the interaction that can exist between two physical humans and it felt good, but yours came with a price. Your boyfriend wanted to own and control you. Even the sense of belonging that came with possession felt right at first.

What has happened recently is another aspect of your growth. You now have a sense of yourself. You have realized that each soul is entitled to its own path. It can be possessed by another only with its consent, freely given. Knowing that, you no longer want to consent to being controlled.

While it is not right or wrong to remain in this relationship, you have learned all that you can from it. You owe your boyfriend nothing more than thanks for the experience he has allowed you to feel. Your future is in your hands. Decide if you still need to be controlled or if you have enough faith in yourself to move on to new experiences. The choice is yours.

ANSWER: You had a very strong sexual attraction to this man. You are a romantic at heart and saw it as an answer to your prayers for a loving, fulfilling relationship. You immediately began to dream of a lifetime together because this contact made you feel so good. Nothing had ever been this intense before, so you convinced yourself that it was something you had planned for this life.

For the man, it was also a response to his sexual attraction and really nothing more. This man is in a committed relationship and has no desire to leave it. When he found you so willing to follow your attraction to each other, he took full advantage of it even though he knew he did not want it to interfere with his current partnership.

You went into this affair pulled by your emotions and girlhood dreams of a fairy tale union. He was spurred on by a bout of sexual frustration that he had to satisfy. His thoughts were for releasing his tension and having fun with a very willing and attractive person.

He does not love you as you have convinced yourself that you do him, but he would have no problems carrying on together with you whenever you find yourselves in a same situation as this one. It would never result in a permanent, committed relationship.

This lesson for you was to be able to discern reciprocated true love from infatuation and sexual attraction – to analyze and differentiate the actual occurrence from a dreamlike desire. In a spiritual sense, this was an acknowledgement that the human body has certain needs that it is best to meet rather than always be left with frustration.

ANSWER: You did not meet your twin flame because if you had, you would not have separated so easily. You built up a whole dream world around him and ascribed characteristics to him which you only now believe existed. He came into your life so that you may examine love in various situations.

You were very comfortable in the relationship and hesitate to open yourself to the prospect of another. You are hiding under the shadow of your continued remembrances and projections of what you think existed; that is why you cannot break out of the pattern of wanting to return to that energy.

Spiritual growth is defined by accomplishing the lessons you chose to learn, which results in replacing all the negative ego judgment from your life with unconditionally loving, positive choices. The intense feelings that you are experiencing have to do with ego and judgment issues you have not completed.

You feel a sense of betrayal, abandonment, and abuse from your past relationship. You feel unfulfilled because you gave him everything you thought he wanted, and yet he left. You feel a sense of guilt that he left because of you. You need to examine that sensation, see that it isn’t true, and then let it go. With it will go a lot of the intense feelings that are haunting you.

One lesson from this is to see that giving your choices to another drains you of energy and self-worth. Never do something just because you think the other person will reciprocate with love. Honor yourself and your individual journey. Every time you feel sad or bad, ask your unconscious what is causing it. Go to the event and see if it really belongs to you or to your imagination of what was. If you don’t need it, send it on its way.

ANSWER:  You are blessed to know the extent of feeling soul or spiritual love with your physical body. When you work in positive energies the sense of unconditional love is able to penetrate from the universe into the very fabric of a physical existence. Spiritual workers espouse all the virtues of their soul-essence in that they love and share their energy with those around them.

You are confusing a third-dimensional physical romantic love, which you so desperately desire, for the non-physical plutonic unconditional love one soul has for another. You understand “love” only at the level of the emotional reaction it produces in your physical body. You have reduced this to producing physical pain and a mental/emotional obsession for your friend. Your associate does love your soul unconditionally, but he does so at the level of your true nature, not the body that surrounds your soul right now.

He has no longing for you because he loves all souls the same as he loves yours. He does not need to have that reduced to a physical interaction with another body because he feels it in his whole being physically and energetically.

The conflict you think you perceive is the common one that exists with spiritually advanced people who, because they are still in a human body, have to deal with negativity around them. It is difficult to bridge two worlds. You have chosen to be together at this time so that you could observe the reactions of each other, and from them, learn the possibilities.

ANSWER: Society has convinced you that it is your job to focus on the needs of others instead of your own. Souls come to Earth to find out who they are as souls and to understand their powers and abilities as pieces of Source. It is a singular journey, not one requiring a partner. Society has brainwashed all humans into thinking that they need a partner to fulfill themselves during their human existence.

In your case, you do need a romantic relationship to help you find out who you are. You need to be honored and treated as the divine feminine energy of which you are composed, not as a servant to the desires of another. Whether this includes a physical sexual element is to be determined by you and your companion.

Sex is not a necessary part of a romantic relationship. It is, however, something that can only be experienced on Earth while souls have physical bodies. Again, society has indicated that the only purpose for two humans to be together is to have sexual communion and to bring offspring into the world. That is not a spiritual concept or necessity.

Sex is beneficial to the physiological health of the human body. It releases hormones that make the body “sing,” releases mental and physical stressors, and creates a closeness that only this act can bestow. It may be a desire or sometimes an addiction. Mostly it is an intimate sharing uniting two persons. Is sex absolutely necessary? In the spiritual sense, there are no absolutes and nothing is right or wrong. In a physical sense, it is a reward for putting up with physicality.

ANSWER:  First thing you need to do is stop thinking and analyzing everything and just feel what your body has to say. Release the expectations you have concerning the sex act and go with the flow. You think you need to have certain feelings or experiences, but the truth is that each person’s sensations and degree of satisfaction are based on his/her judgment of the union.

How do you get your information so that you may form an opinion? You depend on television, movies, novels, friends, and societal judgments. Does any of this impact the way you feel about the act? It shouldn’t, unless you feel you are part of a competition to do exactly what someone else has done.

You have many fears and doubts controlling your life. You default to the negative possibilities in all situations. You want someone to come in and tell you what to do. You do not think you are capable of taking responsibility for your life, having original ideas, and being able to “grade” your own experiences.

Whenever you give in to your fears – that is, accept that they are true – you are doomed to have a repeat of the situation you fear. You are a powerful soul, as all souls are, and you bring to your life that which you wish to experience. When you tell yourself you may be subject to HIV, unable to relax and enjoy, doomed by past-life problems, you are telling the universe you wish to have those things in your life.

In your wisdom and strength you create the world you desire. Visualize a place devoid of the things you fear and surrounded by unconditional love. See this as the place you have your relations, and the whole energy of your activity will be one of safe unconditional love. Enclose yourself in this cocoon of positivity and shut out all negative thoughts and possibilities.

You devalue your own worth. You are magnificent; accept it as true. You desire to have all the wonderful experiences in which you allow yourself to engage. Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself, and enjoy an intimate relationship with your partner. If both of you are completely into enjoying the situation, you won’t need anyone else.

ANSWER: No soul has the right to possess another soul. All souls have freedom of choice in every aspect of their relationship. Romantic relationships, during an incarnation on Earth, are but a small part of the reason you came to body form. It is a fallacy that you only have one potential romantic connection in this life. You have possibilities on many levels. What has been in the past has been on physical levels only, accompanied by lessons in self-worth.

You have chosen the area of love to express most of the lessons you are here to learn. The interaction within relationships tests your understanding of life. Do you have faith in yourself? Are you giving away your energy to another to betray, abuse, control, or cause you to question your ability to function? You feel that there is one and only one man in your world who will allow you to find fulfillment. That is not true.

As you have progressed through the various stages of spiritual awareness and growth, your perception of others has changed. Seek first someone on the level of spiritual understanding where you now reside; then let it become a romantic relationship. Don’t let your hormones guide you and become physically involved before you have a sense of the spiritual nature of this man. You are both on paths of learning; study together—it’s more fun that way.

ANSWER: One of the most difficult stages and lessons for human parents is when to let go of their child and when to say “no.” Children often push the time of dependence well into adulthood because they do not want to assume responsibility for their own actions.

You have always provided whatever your daughter thought she needed. You have also been there to bail her out when she didn’t think things through thoroughly. You have facilitated a dependency of which she takes full advantage. She has learned a number of ways to manipulate you and theatrics is high on the list. The first step to being able to see clearly is to recognize the drama for what it is-an act to get you to give in to her demands.

That inner voice of which you speak is the truth of who you are. When you listen to it, you are honoring yourself and taking control of your own power. When you allow it to be drowned out, you are saying that others are more important then you. Accept that all souls originate from the same source and their opinions are equally valuable.

It is time for your daughter to take control of her own life-not just the initial decisions, but the results and repercussions as well. When she realizes that she is not going to be rescued from herself continually she will be more careful and investigative of the situations in which she places herself.

It is very loving for you to help your daughter recognize her own strengths. Be there to talk her through the difficulties in which she finds herself, but let her also find her own way out of the dilemma. If you continue giving in to her demands she will never grow and you will never be happy.

Don’t just spring this new regime upon her. Sit down and tell her that you will always be there, just not in a financial way. When you put this into play you will be honoring yourself and loving yourself as much as you love her.

ANSWER: You are treating these people as if they are dolls or puppets you are using to fill in your life in the manner you desire. The gifts you purchase are bribes to get them to love you because you do not think you alone are good enough for them to like. You come on extremely strongly, almost forcing yourself on them, which has the effect of scaring them off – the opposite of what you intend.

You must first examine how you feel about yourself. Why do you think you are not good enough for others to want to spend time with you? Why do you try so hard to get others to like you? If you are being true to yourself, and not just trying to win over a stranger, they will see and accept what you project. If it is to their liking, they will take the initiative to remain in contact with you.

You do not share any common interests with these people and have done nothing to find some. You must find a reason for people to want to be with you, to have something to talk about, and share ideas. This may be books, a craft (knitting, painting, singing), an organization (religious, social, philanthropic) or some subject from a class that interests both of you. People need a reason to spend time with you besides your desire that they do so.

ANSWER: Your main lesson in life this time was to examine several different aspects of human love. You entered a loveless marriage to learn that you could turn respect and appreciation for your husband’s life into a type of love. This type of love is mutual familial respect rather than a true romantic love. It becomes stable, comfortable, and somewhat satisfying, but not that exciting.

Your boys provided a second type of love—maternal love and a taste of the unconditional love a mother develops with her children. This is a type that grows stronger as the personalities of the children develop. You married to be a mother. You are in their lives to help them find their way and accomplish whatever they chose before coming to Earth. You can’t do their lessons for them but you can give them advice on how to proceed.

Then, BAM, along comes your first experience of romantic sexual love! You were caught in an all-consuming sense of physical attraction, which has been reciprocated. Someone entered your life who sees you not as the little woman in the home responsible for the kids but as a physically appealing, exciting woman. For the first time in your life you have been placed on a pedestal of adoration. And it feels fantastic. You can talk about your physical draw to each other instead of just about what is needed for the house.

Just as you have two boys whom you feel love toward in very different ways, you now have two men in your life causing equally divergent feelings. What you do from now is what freedom of choice is all about. This is a life lesson that is for you to learn more about yourself and your feelings. One choice is not to choose and to carry on as you are. Learning to live a dual life is not easy. Go inside and find where your feelings lie. This is your life; making yourself miserable doesn’t help anyone. Honor your feelings—they are the only things that are yours alone.

ANSWER: As with all souls, you did not set up specific conditions for your learning of lessons. It may be that you end up without connecting with someone in a lasting, romantic, sharing way, or you may understand the lessons of rejection and clear your way for such a connection. It is up to you whether and how fast you unravel the feelings you have.

The period of your life in which you spent your time having sexual exploits without any real concern for your partner or why you were doing it, outside of the physical release you desired, created a pattern of behavior of which you have not totally rid yourself. Within your energy is an egotism that does not indicate you are interested in sharing. It says you are in any contact for what you alone can get out of it.

Regardless of the fact that you think you have changed the way you approach a potential partner, your expectation precedes your actions. When you enter into a new association, your fear of rejection is always with you. You amp up your intensity to show them what a great person you are, and the result is that they feel the union is all about you.

A heartfelt communication is missing in all your attempts. It is so important to you for them to feel your need to create a sharing relationship that you over-talk them. Before saying anything, stop and reach out with your senses. What does the energy around you two feel like? Is there hesitancy, fear, intrigue, selfishness, or selflessness? Take your cues for your conduct by what you feel.

Put aside expectations and anticipations and just go with the flow of the world around you. If you sense fear or doubts, stop and ask your unconscious what is causing these feelings. The lessons you have not faced or learned from will be the answer. Address the issues originating from yourself before you open up to a sharing, and you will no longer frighten off people – which will prevent rejection.

ANSWER: You are chasing a cyber-ghost. Many people occupy their time on the Internet and create personas that they think the person they are communicating with will like. It is a game for them. Some of these people never say a thing that is true, even down to their real name, sex, age, and location.

Many lonely souls, or those who like to feel in control over others, have a whole list of people they string along until someone has the nerve to call their bluff by wanting to take the relationship further than just typing on a screen. To each of their contacts they appear to be the only one to whom he writes, but each is hearing a variation of the same stories.

Your “friend” was 90% creation and 10% reality. You were played. When you wanted to expand into personal information, he couldn’t allow that because you would find out that he didn’t mean a large portion of the ideas he shared with you. When you commented on your connection he panicked—that was the reason for the vanishing act.

You feel the pain of being used by him. In sharing yourself so fully, you were vulnerable to depending on what he said to you and hurt when he turned into something other than he had said he was. Right now he is evaluating how his contacts are going with others and taking time to think of a new story to spin your way if he needs to get you back into his stable of “friends.”

Nothing is right or wrong, so you have the freedom to choose what you wish to do next. With the information we have provided, go inside and feel what resonates with you; do this before you make up your mind. Love yourself for who you are and don’t let anyone dishonor you by lying to you.

ANSWER: A soul comes to Earth to learn lessons. They involve examining all the situations that you have chosen to attract to yourself and, then, using your freedom of choice, deciding which will allow you to learn the most in the shortest amount of time. A soul does not come into the plane with any other souls – but by itself. The spiritual journey is a singular thing, with the only way to learn being by making all the decisions and accepting all the responsibilities for what happens while here.

There are many aspects to a human life. There are things that can be experienced only within the human body – sexual functions being one of them. There is no time limit on any of the tests you have set up for yourself, nor only one way in which to accomplish them.

Somewhere in your planning for this life, you envisioned the exact situation in which you find yourself today. What is of greatest importance to you? Is it the completion of the passions you feel drawing you, the professional life you have spent so much time creating? Or is physical sensation of utmost importance at this very moment in your life? Only you can answer these questions.

It also matters whether you find spiritual growth and enlightenment necessary for you now, or feel that that can come later, if at all. You are not aware of what difficulties might face you in another location and whether you will find a position that satisfies you. Moving will satisfy your boyfriend’s needs in all respects but provide only for your relationship aspects. The choice is yours.

ANSWER:  Human beings have a need to be needed, loved, and a feeling that they are special. Doing something long distance is safer than being face to face with someone. You don’t have to deal with their body language and any physical affectations that may say something different to you from what they are saying verbally. You are additionally able to visualize people as you would like them to be.

Living dangerously, experimenting with sexual fantasies you would never do physically with another, brings added excitement to any conversation. Many people use books and DVDs to have these experiences, but you were able to have them in the first person with your mystery man. Things you would never say or do in person you are willing to “perform” over the wires because you are safe and will never actually have to go through with the acts. The emotional release can be just as strong when you are totally engaged in the play acting as if you physically completed the event.

He is a voyeur. He is the type who used to call sex hotlines but now can do it for free because of the Internet and telephones. He has a lot of experience getting women to do what he wants them to. He has knowledge of psychology to intensify his own response as well as that of the women he speaks with. He is aware of all the buzz words that turn people into sexually charged beings.

He is not your twin flame, just a very glib human having fun and a physical release while giving you the same. Ask yourself why you became so dependent so quickly. You need more love in your life, so start with loving yourself for who you are.

ANSWER: You get in your own way by creating expectations of how you desire the other person to react to you. You fear they will not like you; they pick up that energy and think you don’t want them to like you – so they don’t. It is the lack of self-confidence you constantly battle that shapes your relationships.

To have a meaningful relationship one must be open, almost vulnerable, and be willing to share their innermost thoughts and desires. You are a closed book because you think others want to take something from you. You want all relationships to be on your terms; others share, you take.

You have a pattern. When you first meet someone, you behave as you think they would like you to behave. You say things that you do not believe because you want to please them. You judge what you think they are thinking about you – and you always see that as being negative.

All souls are alike. None is any better or worse than any other. You all originate from the energy of Source, which is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-creative, and all-loving. Since you are a piece of that Source, you have the same qualities and abilities. You can use these powers only when you accept that what we have just said is true.

Once you understand this and start to work with it in mind, you will no longer have self-confidence issues. You will not be concerned with what others think or do. You can be true to yourself and open to the contact of others. Inside, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You have convinced yourself that you are different. Now accept that you are not.

You see the way others interact and your fear keeps you from going there. That is what makes you jealous and leaves you feeling bad. Connect with your divine inner self and create the type of person to whom others will flock.

ANSWER: This lifetime is all about the discovery of the various aspects of love. You are a very giving individual who can easily identify with others and their relationships. You see a romantic relationship as the ultimate expression of love when it really is not. It is possible to truly love another in a relationship only to the degree and extent that you are able to love yourself.

You were brought up believing that it was not right to be self-loving as that was selfish. You were taught to direct all your love outwardly. For this reason you do not know how to love yourself. Because you do not love yourself, any potential partner picks up an energy around you that says, “I don’t love myself.” Their response is, “If she doesn’t love herself there must be something wrong with her, so I’ll look for someone else.”

As you already know, you can change the pathway you are currently following using your freedom of choice. While this single status is one of your life-lessons, all you have to do is recognize it, work on a solution, and you will then experience the next step—a romantic relationship.

In a quiet state ask yourself what it is you do not like about yourself. Also find what you are hiding from. What is it you will not face? All these “ghosts” are scaring away romance. Banish the ghosts and welcome the gentlemen.