QUESTION: Masters I have been spiritual since I was a child. Focusing on personal growth, following the signs of the universe, and meditating since the age of 13, I am in my mid 30s now. I believe recently that I have met my twin flame which I did not know until after we separated. My life has shifted and I feel like I am becoming better and am serving others. I am thankful I met him, however, I find myself wanting and missing him terribly. I cannot contact him because I do not feel the need to intuitively; he vanished and he must conquer ego is what I feel. I want my spirituality to continue to grow and I want to follow my path, so does this intense feeling (visions, dreams, soul wrenching pain) ever go away? It has thrown my spirituality into unbalanced state. Nothing seems to help. ~Danielle, US
ANSWER: You did not meet your twin flame because if you had, you would not have separated so easily. You built up a whole dream world around him and ascribed characteristics to him which you only now believe existed. He came into your life so that you may examine love in various situations.
You were very comfortable in the relationship and hesitate to open yourself to the prospect of another. You are hiding under the shadow of your continued remembrances and projections of what you think existed; that is why you cannot break out of the pattern of wanting to return to that energy.
Spiritual growth is defined by accomplishing the lessons you chose to learn, which results in replacing all the negative ego judgment from your life with unconditionally loving, positive choices. The intense feelings that you are experiencing have to do with ego and judgment issues you have not completed.
You feel a sense of betrayal, abandonment, and abuse from your past relationship. You feel unfulfilled because you gave him everything you thought he wanted, and yet he left. You feel a sense of guilt that he left because of you. You need to examine that sensation, see that it isn’t true, and then let it go. With it will go a lot of the intense feelings that are haunting you.
One lesson from this is to see that giving your choices to another drains you of energy and self-worth. Never do something just because you think the other person will reciprocate with love. Honor yourself and your individual journey. Every time you feel sad or bad, ask your unconscious what is causing it. Go to the event and see if it really belongs to you or to your imagination of what was. If you don’t need it, send it on its way.