QUESTION: Masters, I have been together with my boyfriend for almost 7 years. He is currently overseas studying while I travel a lot due to work. During one of the work trips, I met another man. Initially it was supposed to be just a fling, ended up we have been seeing each other after that though he knows I am attached. I am trying to stop it but I can’t. We both enjoy each other’s company. I do love my boyfriend but I like the other guy too. What should I do? ~Sho, Singapore
ANSWER: You are being true to yourself, your needs, and your feelings. You are not married, have not signed a commitment to either individual, and yet feel you are under an obligation to act in a certain way because of things you have been taught or learned from others throughout your life. Both you and your boyfriend are living the life each has freely chosen. Just as you are changing while you are away from him, so is he.
The journey of the soul does not say that we pre-commit to certain plans and may not alter them, but rather that you have freedom of choice in all things. It also does not say that each soul has one and only one designated partner. It is possible to love more than one person at a time.
Once you have fallen in love with an individual, it is difficult to ignore those feelings. You then have to make a choice as to what you think about your actions and how much commitment to assign. Since you have no commitments and you are not promising anything to your fling, you are just enjoying the satisfaction physically, mentally, and emotionally that seeing him gives to you. Just because your boyfriend is unavailable, does he expect that you will not take care of physical needs?
To decide what to do at this time, you have to consider your journey, not anyone else’s. If internally you feel you are doing something that is wrong based upon the way you believe you should live, then you have to end one affair or the other. If you feel you are not hurting anyone, since the conditions are very clear to your fling that you have a long-term relationship, then choose to continue. These conflicting associations are giving you a chance to evaluate your present situation and get a feeling for how you wish to live.